Am I a bad person if I find this funny?

[Fear_Itself]

Phony doctor gives free breast exams

The white-haired suspect, Philip Winikoff, carried a black bag and claimed to be visiting on behalf of a local hospital.

“He told the woman that he was in the neighborhood offering free breast exams,” sheriff’s spokesman Hugh Graf said in a statement.

At least two women, both in their 30s, let him into their homes and he fondled and sexually assaulted them, the investigators said.

Winikoff was not a doctor, Graf said. He worked as a shuttle driver for an auto dealership.

He committed sexual assault. He impersonated a doctor.

But, dammit, I can’t stop laughing. Am I a bad person?

[WOOKINPANUB]

Well, it’s not *knee slapping laugh out loud * funny to me; just very bizarro. So, in conclusion, you’re not evil, you’re just easily amused

[Antigen]

If you are, please save me a seat in Hell if you get there first.

Because I’m laughing my butt off at how stupid these women were.

One woman became suspicious after the man asked her to remove all her clothes and began conducting a purported genital exam without donning rubber gloves, investigators said.

Let me get this straight, lady. You weren’t suspicious until after he started poking at your cootchie without gloves?

I’m not saying these women deserved this, at all. They were assaulted and this guy needs to be in jail. But geez, people, why did you let him in??

Hi, I’m Antigen, the wallet inspector. I just need to check that all your credit cards are in the proper order, so if you’ll just let me have a quick look at that wallet…

[Salem]

I’m with the Penis Police. We’re doing random checks in your neighborhood, sir. Do you have a penis? I’ll need to check that.
Bet there wouldn’t have been as many complaints.

[Anaamika]

In their 30’s?? I thought they were, you know, older folks who remembered a time when the doc made house calls. I’ve just turned 30. Am I going to suddenly turn stupid?

Scuse me - when was the last time you called the doctor and he came over to your house? I mean, maybe if he was good-looking even.

[Antigen]

@Salem

Bet there wouldn’t have been as many complaints.

Depends. Is it a blonde bikini model making the rounds? Because if it’s this same doctor they just arrested… I doubt he would have gotten very far.

[The_Chao_Goes_Mu]

What the guy was doing was shitty supreme, what you’re laughing at is the absurdity of the human tragiocomedy,* I * don’t think you’re a bad person.

I chuckled at it myself.

[Hypno-Toad]

Anyone rmember back in junior high when someone would whip out a fake badge and ID declaring them to be a FBI agent? Only if you looked closer you saw that it said “Female Body Inspector.”

These women fell for it.

[Salem]

@Antigen

Depends. Is it a blonde bikini model making the rounds? Because if it’s this same doctor they just arrested… I doubt he would have gotten very far.

Well, I’m female, and this is the internet, so I could go with blonde bikini model.
Yes, that’s correct. [sub]Under this 47 year old short red-headed exterior[/sub] I’m a blonde bikini model. Absolutely. Now, where’s your penis?

[yingtongtiddleipo]

@Salem

I’m with the Penis Police. We’re doing random checks in your neighborhood, sir. Do you have a penis? I’ll need to check that.

snort splutter giggle

When you retire from the force, want to set up independently…
.
.
.
as Private Dicks?

[Lissa]

@Anaamika

In their 30’s?? I thought they were, you know, older folks who remembered a time when the doc made house calls. I’ve just turned 30. Am I going to suddenly turn stupid?

Scuse me - when was the last time you called the doctor and he came over to your house? I mean, maybe if he was good-looking even.

Maybe I’m just an ultra-suspicious person, but I don’t let anybody in the house unless I’ve made an appointment or I see a squad car parked in the driveway.

I would just *love *to know what this guy’s spiel was. “Good morning, ma’am. I’m here to inspect you for cancer. We’ve had reports that there is cancer in the neighborhood, and are going door to door to see if anyone else is aflicted. See, I have a bag right here-- that shows you I’m legit.”

You know, I hate to say it, but some people are so stupid, you’ve gotta assume that when bad things happen to them, it’s just natural selection in action.

[Daithi_Lacha]

Maybe he just rang the doorbell and called out, “Mammo-gram!”

[Guinastasia]

@Daithi Lacha

Maybe he just rang the doorbell and called out, “Mammo-gram!”

Were you watching Keith Olbermann last night? He said almost the same thing, I believe.

Also, I think they said some of these women were immigrants with poor English skills.

Still, yes, I laughed.

[WotNot]

I read the first post, and thought, “This sounds like a Benny Hill sketch”. Then I clicked on the article, and, damn me – he even looks a little like Benny Hill.

[Stuffy]

@Daithi Lacha

Maybe he just rang the doorbell and called out, “Mammo-gram!”

Hell readies a room

[Man_With_a_Cat]

@Anaamika

I’ve just turned 30. Am I going to suddenly turn stupid?

Hang on, I’m thinking of a really good answer to this…

• “What do you mean ‘Am I?’”
• “Like we’d TELL you?”
• “Unless you submit to this brief exam…”
• “No, it’s gradual…what was I saying?”

[Jackknifed_Juggernaut]

Am I the only one who thinks that there’s no possible way that these ladies could be this stupid? Perhaps they, too, had ulterior motives when agreeing to submit to the exam. Maybe they hadn’t gotten any action in a while, so they “fell for it”.

[Marley23]

You’re not a bad person, Fear Itself - or not because of this, anyway. Very often, the funniest thing in the world is other peoples’ misfortune. We’re not really supposed to admit it, but it’s true.

Can I just say that I’m totally unsurprised this happened in Florida?

[Edward_The_Head]

There were four of us laughing about this over lunch so no you’re not the only one. Please save us all a seat.

[Doctor_Who]

Ok - I laughed when I first heard it. But…

Yes - you’re all bad people. But I only came to this conclusion after I read what Paul Harvey would call… the rest of the story.

Here’s a few quotes from various news stories:

One of the alleged victims, who just arrived to South Florida from Haiti, said she believes she fell victim because she is unaware of the country’s laws and cannot speak English that well. The woman said she was convinced by Winikoff that he was a legitimate physician and that he would give her a free breast exam for cancer, so she agreed until the exam went too far, NBC 6’s Sharon Lawson reported.

Investigators said Winikoff apparently carried a medical bag that belongs to his wife, who is a registered nurse. Police said he targeted women who don’t speak fluent English and don’t have health insurance.

Anyways - this jerk targeted women who didn’t speak English very well and who weren’t apprised of their rights OR the customs of this country.

He’s an asshole. And you’re an asshole if you think the situation is funny after reading those illuminative facts.

Sure, I know, these women were stupid. But targeting people who don’t know any better doesn’t make a crime “right” or “funny.” Substitute “children” or “the mentally retarded” for “women who don’t speak English very well” and see if you’re still chuckling.

And, no, I don’t think any less of all of you.

The Doctor