The manager of my group at work is very big into buying lunch for us. I opt out of this 99% of the time. I hate having to do this, but I just don’t want that many calories for lunch. I’m not overweight or on a special diet. I simply know that I have got to watch what I eat in order to not gain weight. I bust my butt in the gym every morning.
Now, I’d have restaurant food for lunch at work if it was once a month or so. But two times a week? I don’t want 600 plus calories for lunch twice a week. And, getting something light is usually not an option. Hard to get a small salad when they’re ordering pizzas or fried chicken.
I prefer to reserve my extra calories to go have a restaurant meal on a weekend or have a few beers during the weekend.
I really enjoy spending my lunch hours alone. I don’t mind going out with colleagues but never more often than once a month or so. If I was expected to go any more often, I’d opt out too - not because of the calories, but because I value spending my time alone.
I don’t think any apologies are necessary, it’s nobody’s business. Unless something to the contrary is written into my job description somewhere, my lunchtime is entirely my own.
No, you are not being rude, as long as you decline politely. Since when is it necessary to accept an unsolicited, unwanted favor of dubious value? Now, if you were to shout “Stop trying to poison me!” or “This is why you are a crap manager!” that would be a different story, but you wouldn’t do that.
It’s not impolite, but it would help you seem like a “team player” to join in. The implication might be that you dislike hanging out with them enough that even free food doesn’t make it worth it. Why not just get a salad, or only eat what you want? People probably won’t much care what you eat.
Do you go out to eat or is the food delivered? Does everyone else participate? Why does the manager do this? Is it a team building thing, or does he just want the company to buy his lunch twice a week and this is the way he justifies it? Does the manager always choose the place where the food comes from?
Is the lunch a social thing? Or does it just get ordered in and everyone gets some and goes and does their own thing? If everyone gets together I think it’s good form to sit with them and socialize even if you eat your own food, but there’s nothing wrong with not eating the high calorie food. You’re just lucky you can spare the time to make it!
Because the order sheet comes around with “Pepperoni, Sausage, or Deluxe” and a check box. Or, we’re ordering friend chicken, what do you want for a side?
There’s no menu for me to pick something from 99% of the time.
Trying to joke about it with my manager does no good. “You’re skinny, what do you have to worry about?”
I’m at my weight because I know to balance diet and exercise. I keep my hands out of the candy. I turn down the weekly popcorn (movie theatre style). I don’t pick up a doughnut. I get up an hour earlier than I’d like to so I can go to the gym.
Delivered. Manager gets a budget for “team building” He can spend it on anything he’d like. It is up for a so-called vote, but we have a very vocal obese female who dicates the choice. It will always be Bar B Q, pizza, Chinese, or fried chicken.
I opt out of most group activities, including lunch at our office. About the only time I don’t is when it’s mandatory. It doesn’t make you a jerk and you don’t have to explain yourself. Simply say you have other plans.
I’m with you on this. We (thankfully) hardly ever do anything like this, but what I’d do is just bring my own lunch and sit in with everyone to be sociable.
Although this seems like too damn much time to spend with coworkers on a lunch break. So I’d probably no participate most of the time, and make an appearance every once in a while.
Have you discussed this with your boss? If s/he is at all resonable, there will be a way to make this lunch inclusive for those who are dieting. I am pretty certain you are not the only one in the office who is getting shy of pizza/fried chicken, etc.
Maybe even suggest a “health smart” menu that can be introduced once or twice a month.
I would suggest having a straightforward talk with your manager about it. His goal is team building. Explain, as non-judgmentally as possible, that you’d like to work with him to find lunch options that will work for everyone, including yourself. If your office had people who kept kosher, or had food allergies, or were vegetarians, this would also come up. This might mean you compromising and getting a veggie pizza on whole wheat crust, steamed veggies from Chinese, or a vegetable plate from the BBQ place. Then eat a reasonable portion and put the rest in the fridge.
Even though a lot of people feel this way at least to some extent, it will alienate your coworkers if you come across as “I’d rather save my calories to eat with people whose company I enjoy.” I’m not saying you have to eat fattening food with them, or that you can’t feel that way about saving calories, but the reality of that choice is probably some resentment from them.
By being matter of fact and assertive about this, I think you can create a win-win for yourself and your manager, by making the lunch decisions truly more team oriented. Also, it’s likely that your company, like many companies today, is trying to promote wellness to keep health-related costs down. If you have an HR department of any size, promoting healthy lunches probably fits in with some initiative of theirs.
Alternatively, leave copies of *Fast Food Nation * around the breakroom…[evil grin]
You’re not a jerk. However, depending on your career goals, I think it might be politic for you to join the group sometimes. (And I say this as someone who usually lunches alone.) If you’re completely happy with your job as is and don’t want to move up or sideways, then keep doing your own thing for lunch. If you’ve noticed your relationship with your co-workers is a bit chilly or if you’d like to advance in the company, I would join them sometimes. A slice of pizza or a piece of fried chicken once a month won’t bust your fitness regimen.
We have, on occasion, ordered lunch for everyone, mainly because we’re swamped and we’re asking people to work through lunch. What we do is pick a restaurant and then pass around the menu, so everyone can get the choice they want.
We don’t limit people to one or two food choices, just the restaurant.
Harriet also makes a good point about health. Eating pizza or fried chicken twice a week is not good for ANYONE.
Where is the eating done? Does everyone eat together in a conference room? If so, you could bring your normal lunch in and eat that with them. That’s been done in my office, when pizza was ordered, but not vegetarian. No one was offended, but YMMV.
With some of the items being ordered, you can modify your meal to make it quite a bit healthier. Take the skin off of the fried chicken, pick the toppings (and cheese, if necessary) off the pizza, push for an order of steamed veggies from the Chinese place, etc. I was thinking that with the Bar-B-Q, if you can order some kind of a “dry” option (sauce is not applied during cooking, but is given on the side), that shouldn’t be particularly unhealthy.
That doesn’t sound like any kind of team building. That just sounds like an employee appreciation free lunch. It may boost morale, but it doens’t do any team building.
Since you’re eating with them anyway, the only thing you loose by opting out is the calories. I don’t see any problem with opting out. Is anyone giving you grief for doing so?
Skip the lunch. The only bad person is the one that eats all the time and contributes nothing. Anybody that resents you watching your weight is to be ignored.
If you’re not eating together, there’s no team-building involved. Don’t order lunch, and joke with your boss about how you’re saving the company money by brown-bagging
Why not just get a salad, or only eat what you want? People probably won’t much care what you eat.