I invited a friend I’ll call “Desi” out to breakfast this morning. When I was on the phone with her asking her to breakfast she turns to her mom and asks: “hey do you want to go out to breakfast” She then asks me “can my mom come along?” She put me on the spot so I say OK
Fine, she’s a friend, there’s absolutely no romantic interest on either of our parts.So moms can come along, no problemo. She then says “OK we’ll be on walking along the road to the store meet us Ok?” IOW I’ll pick them up,then we’ll go from there,or so I think. I see them walking along and she’s got her FREAKIN DOG with her. Am I a dog hater? No I have a dog. She wanted me to go to her place and wait outside for her. It’s a 20 min walk to and from the store from her house (30 min min with a untrained pup(BIG pup)). And her dog is not getting in my car, she knows this.
So IOW I’m supposed to sit in my car in the hot weather for who knows how long and wait for her, her mother (who she invited). So I leave and eat breakfast with a buddy, without a word. Oh BTW she stood me up for breakfast yesterday. Oh and she tried to call when we were eating, I didn’t answer.
Was I justified in being miffed and leaving without a word? Or was I being a petty jerk?
Well, it sounds like she’s being rather callous about you if she’s standing you up and leaving you waiting. However, I think the silent treatment was the wrong way to respond. If it was me, I would have said “I’m sorry, I thought you would be ready. Meet me at the restaurant later if you want.” Then, later, when mom’s out of the way, let her know how you’re feeling. Being callous back is hardly the way to tell a person that their behavior isn’t acceptable.
DON’T YOU TWO SEE… that you’re IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER? I mean, why can’t you FACE THAT ALREADY? You’re RUNNING AROUND out there looking for something that’s not even there, when everything that you dream of is RIGHT THERE, RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF YOU! Now WHY CAN’T YOU ADMIT THAT?
copyright C. Kramer 1991
Well, maybe the silent treatment is a little petty but sort of understandable.
It was quite inconsiderate of her to expect you to wait for her at her leisure like you’re Jeeves the fricking Driver or some damn thing.
I don’t know if you were justified in leaving without a word even though I can’t really blame you for doing so. Might have been better to have just told her that you don’t want to wait 20-30 mins. in her driveway and offered her a raincheck. Then had a word with her afterwards about her behaviour.
Too bad you didn’t take her call when she stood you up the next day, maybe she had a legit reason for not being there. Or maybe not, but at least she called.
But, whatever. We’ve all screened people’s phone calls when we’re pissed at them. Not that big a deal, IMO.
If this is her regular modus operandi, she sounds a bit high-maintenance to me. If not, then maybe it can all be smoothed out after you’ve given it a bit of time.
Joking aside, I think your friend sounds a little thoughtless, ditzy at best, seeming to not understand that your time and plans should be considered also.
I’m assuming you enjoy her company enough to want to keep making an effort since you went to the trouble to ask for opinions. Maybe next time just say right off the bat that you want to meet for breakfast so you won’t get caught up in her roundabout way of getting there. Go ahead and eat if she is late and then sit and have coffee with her. But I think if she stood me up again I would just consider her a little too unreliable to involve in plans and, unless she is someone I would get to see without it involving a planned meeting, probably not see a whole lot of her.
I had an epiphany of sorts when I read this. I am callous. Or can be towards someone who has slighted me. I cut someone completely out of my life because she said a few hurtful things about me behind my back. After trying to call me a hundred times, She text mssg me: “what did I do??”. I never responded or talked to her since. And I was crazy about her at one point in time.
Oh BTW I haven’t talked to Desi yet, but I will soon. I had a really bad day and don’t wanna talk to her as yet.
Jeez, this makes me wonder if it was even true! I think it’s okay to be callous, but it’d be better if you at least talked to the ex-friend one time before cutting them off. At least they’d know where they fucked up.
As for Desi, she was completely rude and wrong. But you could have left her a note!
Well OK,what text girl did was the last straw in a long string of self-centered BS. She’s quite a looker who is used to getting her own way all the time.
LOL