Im a 28 year old women. Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He is very sweet , polite and just nice to be around. I find myself more and more thinking of other men, both sexually and platonic hangouts.
About 5 months ago I met a man who in some ways is very different from me but also seems to just “get me” in levels my bf does not. After work on several occasions (we both work in the same shopping center) we shared drinks and well a little more.
I was honest with my bf , he forgave me and wants to start over.
The obvious problem is do i stay with my bf who is loving and loyal …despite the lack attraction i have. Or see where things could go with the “new man”
Any help?? i seem to look for reasons why i shouldnt be with someone… i do get bored easily but am much happier being in a LTR. I love my bf …but actions often speak louder than words
It’s kind of a misleading thread title. It seems the only two options you’re considering are being with one man or being with another.
I say you should end things with your boyfriend. Give him a chance to find real love from a woman who appreciates him and actually wants to be with him.
Gosh…you joined us just to ask this? Fancy that. No, I see you have two other posts. So, I guess the important question is “which one has the larger penis?”
Exactly, you are doing him no favors by staying.
Generally, cheating on people you’re in monogamous relationships with doesn’t bode well.
I’m gonna have to have to agree with Fuzzy Dunlop:
The title meaning I find small problems with every relationship. keyword is Small.
If am right and the problem is me , my real question being should I work on a LTR while trying to identify and overcome these pety reasons that speak more about own fears, insecurities etc
Gosh you read and replied just to say that?
IMHO: Don’t ever stay with someone if you are no longer attracted to him/her – whether physically or in any other way. Period. I speak from experience.
I was reading something once by a sociologist who researched marriage. He was commenting on research findings that married people report being happier and more fulfilled and in generally better moods than non-married people. Except that his point was that he’s very reluctant to conclude that marriage causes those positive results. Because, he said, although there are many many reasons for people not to get married, what are some common reasons you might think of? Maybe they’re a very negative, critical, unpleasant person, maybe they’re dishonest and unfaithful? In short, maybe unmarried people are unhappier because they’re really unpleasant people you wouldn’t expect to find a husband or wife in the first place, or to report being up beat and positive about life?
I never thought of it that way personally before, and I always thought it was a really interesting take on it.
Are you going to be honest with the other person?
How would you feel if someone was not up front with you and did it to you?
For example if you thought you were in a LTR and they broke up with you and said “I’m working through some issues on relationships, this isn’t working for me” wouldn’t you have wanted to know that up front?
Dump both of them and be by yourself for a while. Learn some independence and how to enjoy your own company.
Then when you find somebody to be with it will be because he enhances your life, not because you need him to make your life.
Oh, and you don’t end a relationship to be with somebody else, you end a relationship because you no longer want to be in it. If you are only staying because you don’t want to be alone then you aren’t ready to be in a relationship. It sounds to me like you want all the benefits of a LTR with none of the responsibilities.
There is some suspicion here of people who join only to tell lurid tales of their lives and ask utterly salacious questions - justified suspicion, because quite a few such posters never reply again, and leave hundreds of bickering responders in their wake.
On the other hand, some posters have started out with such nakedly personal posts because that was what pushed them over the edge from lurking.
If you’re the latter, welcome, but until you establish a pattern of response that indicates you’re actually listening to the answers, don’t be too surprised at a bit of suspicious snark coming your way.
I suppose this is not where I suggest she get breast implants, since she’s not really alone. 
But I gotta go with this:
You have two fairly salacious threads going at once, and some of us will view you with a cocked eyebrow :dubious: until we know you better.
I am never salacious.
I was speaking to our hostess, you silly goose. I already know to view you with a cocked eyebrow. 
Word.
I just read both threads in succession and I doubt that my left brow will uncock until some time tomorrow afternoon.
mmm
Maybe you’re polyamorous and would like to be involved with both guys. If you’re honest with them both and they’re OK with it, there’s nothing wrong with that and no need to apologize for your inclinations.