Am I not "growing up" fast enough?

In My Humble Opinion
21

[QUOTE=amelioration]
A.R. Cane, I know that employers will be very concerned with past work experience, which is why I realize that I need to find something rather soon. My plans for this summer are probably to remain in the city where my college is located, get a car and thus get a job then (as I will have more time, not being a full-time student then, and there won’t be any on-campus jobs open anyway).
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I’m puzzled by your plan. Summer break isn’t that long, unless your planning on a temp. summer job, I’d think you’d still have to plan on balancing your school/work hours. Where is the money coming from for the car? For that matter, why do you NEED a car before you can get a job? Also, have you considered the costs of operating a car. insurance, gas, maintenance, parking, possible repairs? Maybe I’m missing something, but I see signs of immaturity, just in the logic of your plans.
You asked for opinions, but I’m not convinced that you’re taking the comments seriously, but rather just defending your position.

22

[QUOTE=A.R. Cane]
I’m puzzled by your plan. Summer break isn’t that long, unless your planning on a temp. summer job, I’d think you’d still have to plan on balancing your school/work hours. Where is the money coming from for the car? For that matter, why do you NEED a car before you can get a job? Also, have you considered the costs of operating a car. insurance, gas, maintenance, parking, possible repairs? Maybe I’m missing something, but I see signs of immaturity, just in the logic of your plans.
You asked for opinions, but I’m not convinced that you’re taking the comments seriously, but rather just defending your position.
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Sorry, I guess I haven’t explained myself clearly enough. My intention for the summer was to stay in the same housing unit that I’m in now and, since the lack of classes would give me more time and flexibility, to find a temporary summer job (with the possibility of it continuing over into my next school year if they are flexible enough to accept my class schedule). I currently have enough money to buy a used car and pay the insurance/gas/repairs/parking/etc for some time; I have an inheritance that would cover these expenses for some time. I need the car before getting the job if I wish to work anywhere that is not food service or the coffee shop, because food service and the coffee shop are the only places on the bus route. My college is, literally, between farmland and forest areas, the middle of nowhere.

And yes, I understand how daunting the cost and maintenance of a car is. That is why I’ve held off on it for so long, because I know how complicated and expensive it would be and I worry that I would not make enough income to supplement it after my inheritance runs out. However, I’m having a difficult time convincing myself to step up to the responsibility of getting a job, and if it is a job that I enjoy (a non-food service job; I would prefer something in retail), then it would be easier for me to accept the responsibilities and complications that would come with it. The car is a tool; it is what enables me to keep a job that I, being a bit fragile in the keeping-of-a-job department, could manage. And of course, my parents would be helping me navigate the complications along the way.

Believe me, my intentions are not to write off anyone’s comments. Reading everyone’s comments has helped me understand how much getting a job would benefit me in the long term, how I need the experience and the skills that one gets from it. I completely agree with you about the importance of learning a good work ethic and its appeal to future employers. This is simply me trying to piece together a way in which to heed the masses’ advice and learn to be more mature.

23

Yeah, but I still don’t get why you need a car…

…let me guess. Dad’s pissed because when you want to come home/go anywhere, you call him or the boyfriend? I’d say if you depend on others to get around on a regular basis maybe it is time for a vehicle.

But still… unless your campus is very small, and you’re just determined to get a job off-campus, why not seek out an opportunity on campus, something more… er, challenging, than slinging hash?

24

I’m an old fart that could probably find something to find an issue with about your lifestyle, but generally speaking you sound very responsible and seem to have your head screwed on fairly straight. Your dad should be glad that you are able to pay your way thru school. It seems that a job would make you feel better about yourself. As far as the car is concerned it would probably cost more that it would be worth. If you don’t need one don’t think you have to have one to grow up. Good luck!

25

I didn’t notice if you mentioned where you live (sorry if I missed it) but one suggestion I have would be to ride the bus if you find a job off campus. You could also find a job on campus before the end of the year, maybe an assistant in a campus office, or a part time job in your department. Many of those will continue through the summer because people will be taking summer classes, or they need to prepare for the following year. (This worked out better for me when I didn’t have a car.)

If you do decide to go the off-campus job route, you should look into the bus schedule before you decide where to seek work. You can probably find out info by googling your city and “bus schedule” or something. In typically suburban American cities, the routes tend to go to big shopping centers and malls more often than regular stops on streets.

I didn’t have a car in college, but I did work on campus, and I lived off campus and rode the bus to campus one year. (Not fun, but if you’re looking for something to mature you and help you understand the value of money, riding the bus will certainly help. Annoying schedules and routes, usually late, and often more expensive than it’s worth. But still cheaper than a car. $4.00/round trip doesn’t seem like much, but on a part-time college student budget, it can add up.)

26

[QUOTE=amelioration]
Sorry, I guess I haven’t explained myself clearly enough. My intention for the summer was to stay in the same housing unit that I’m in now and, since the lack of classes would give me more time and flexibility, to find a temporary summer job (with the possibility of it continuing over into my next school year if they are flexible enough to accept my class schedule). I currently have enough money to buy a used car and pay the insurance/gas/repairs/parking/etc for some time; I have an inheritance that would cover these expenses for some time. I need the car before getting the job if I wish to work anywhere that is not food service or the coffee shop, because food service and the coffee shop are the only places on the bus route. My college is, literally, between farmland and forest areas, the middle of nowhere.

And yes, I understand how daunting the cost and maintenance of a car is. That is why I’ve held off on it for so long, because I know how complicated and expensive it would be and I worry that I would not make enough income to supplement it after my inheritance runs out. However, I’m having a difficult time convincing myself to step up to the responsibility of getting a job, and if it is a job that I enjoy (a non-food service job; I would prefer something in retail), then it would be easier for me to accept the responsibilities and complications that would come with it. The car is a tool; it is what enables me to keep a job that I, being a bit fragile in the keeping-of-a-job department, could manage. And of course, my parents would be helping me navigate the complications along the way.

Believe me, my intentions are not to write off anyone’s comments. Reading everyone’s comments has helped me understand how much getting a job would benefit me in the long term, how I need the experience and the skills that one gets from it. I completely agree with you about the importance of learning a good work ethic and its appeal to future employers. This is simply me trying to piece together a way in which to heed the masses’ advice and learn to be more mature.
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Fair enough. I would like to point out that college students are often attracted to waitstaff jobs because they pay well, w/ tips, they don’t require much experience and they are usually evening jobs that don’t clash w/ classes.

27

[QUOTE=amelioration]
Leiko, at my university, the vast majority of the library jobs and clerical jobs require work study, one of the forms of financial aid that the FAFSA awards, and I did not receive it. I applied for postal delivery work, but wasn’t called. Food service is an option, but I’m going to search for work anywhere else first. My roommates work in the food service venues on campus, and their managers are completely incompetent, scheduling them for work during exam hours and overlapping shifts, etc. I’m very wary of working there.
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I have to say that I can’t imagine how campus food service is so horrible that it’s worth the trouble of getting a car just so that you can work off campus. Have your roommates actually had to miss classes and exams for their jobs? I would think “I’m sorry I have class” would pretty much resolve the issue at any on-campus job. And is your school so small that they’ve can speak about most every cafeteria on campus, or is it possible that theirs is just a dud? Maybe they’re all horrible, I don’t know, but it stands out to me that they manage to put up with their jobs but you don’t even want to try it out for a few weeks.

I’m not saying go get a job tomorrow, but if you’ve been giving the same explanations to your dad then I could see why he be questioning you. If you just don’t think it’s worth your time to work food service, then you’re probably right but I’d say call it like it is and tell him that. My own dad didn’t want me to mess my grades up just so I had money for clothes and beer, it’s not unreasonable that your parents can be swayed to a similar viewpoint.

28

It probably won’t help you much if it isn’t really your strength, but my internal sources tell me that the mall near you is in desperate need of reliable people to work the Guest Services desk on Friday/Saturday/Sundays. Answering phones, selling gift cards, etc. Just throwing that out there.

29

OK, having heard more, I think you are delayed in growing up in the specific case of employment, though I think you sound on track everyplace else. I think you are probably behind a pretty large majority of your peers on employment. This could be a problem, or could fix itself with little trouble. Since you found you couldn’t succeed with your only brief test of employment, you only have a little evidence with which to predict this, and it’s negative. So, you’re right to wonder, and right to identify it as a potential weakness.

If you graduated and still had only that work experience, and I were interviewing you, I’d see that as a big red flag. But I still might recommend hiring you if after probing that point I felt satisfied there were only good reasons. You’re making the odds worse, though, certainly.

I agree with others that car ownership is much less of an issue. It does count for a little something, I guess, depending on what other accomplishments you have, but not nearly as much as employment.

30

I’m curious - how does this happen at 19 with having worked only a week in your life? Sounds like trust funds, gifts, or the like.

If your family (and thereby you) are wealthy enough, perhaps you never will need to work - certainly not at anything you don’t really want to do.

But ISTM that a college-aged kid who has plenty of money but has never worked would have an unusual perspective on the value of money, what effort is involved in acquiring it, what things truly cost, etc.

I think my kids have learned much from their part-time jobs during high school that was in many ways just as important and possibly more “maturing” than the lessons they learned in school. But their parents are notorious cheap asses! :smiley:

A car is just an expense. If you don’t feel the need for it, there is no hurry to get one.

31

[QUOTE=Napier]
OK, having heard more, I think you are delayed in growing up in the specific case of employment, though I think you sound on track everyplace else. I think you are probably behind a pretty large majority of your peers on employment. This could be a problem, or could fix itself with little trouble. Since you found you couldn’t succeed with your only brief test of employment, you only have a little evidence with which to predict this, and it’s negative. So, you’re right to wonder, and right to identify it as a potential weakness.

If you graduated and still had only that work experience, and I were interviewing you, I’d see that as a big red flag. But I still might recommend hiring you if after probing that point I felt satisfied there were only good reasons. You’re making the odds worse, though, certainly.

I agree with others that car ownership is much less of an issue. It does count for a little something, I guess, depending on what other accomplishments you have, but not nearly as much as employment.
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I am thinking this view of being “behing in employment” depends on your major and what you want to do. I disagree that being “behind in employment” is necessarily that big of an issue.

Overall I think you sound very mature, and have your priorities straight. The fact that you are keeping good grades says a lot, in my mind. The fact that you are not complaining about being behind in not having the latest I-phone tells me that you have your priorities in order.

Yes, employment history can play into the interview process, but only if it is “applicable”. That is, I really question the value of having 3 years work experience at McDonald’s on one’s resume (unless of course, your intention was to get into the restaurant management). Put another way, if you maintained good grades without working, but then your grades started to slip once you started working (at a non-applicable job), then I think working for the sake of the resume was not a good choice. Especially if you didn’t need to work.

Again, it may depend on your major and what you want to do, but my experience of not working during college and maintaining good grades worked out just fine. I had high school jobs on my resume, and I don’t believe those contributed one iota to getting job offers.
But I do know that keeping good grades spoke loads. Graduating college tells a lot about a person. They had the discipline to finish the curriculum. Maintaining good grades (dean’s list) speaks even more - not only did they do what was required, they actually worked at it.
Work history, too, says things about a person. They were able to interview without becoming a basketcase. They were responsible enough to hold the job. They were (likely) able to work with other people, etc..
But unless that work was directly applicable to the (real) job you’re seeking, I don’t know that it carries nearly as much weight as good grades. Most of my peers that worked during college did so because they had to (at minimum wage jobs). If you can afford to not work (and can thereby finish in 4 years, or whatever), I would forgo work for work’s sake.

I think the perceived need to drive from your father is tied in with a “need to work”. Those (like Napier) who feel that work history is that important, would likely agree that driving and owning a car are also important. Cars provide mobility which would enable you to seek more opportunities to work (and fit in work with school hours).
But again, it is a “cost/benefit” situation. Why go out and get a car to drive across town to work at McDonald’s for 3 hours/day ? Again, if the job (and benefits of working) don’t outweigh the cost of a car, and you don’t need to work, then I don’t see a need to have a car.
I certainly don’t see “not driving” as being “behind.” For all you know, you may end up in New York (or London, or Paris) where the logistics of owning a car are such a pain you may go years without owning a car.

I think school should continue to be your highest priority. Having friends and a boyfriend makes the experience that much more enjoyable. Just keep your grades up - don’t let the extra-curricular activities interfere with your schoolwork.
There will be PLENTY of time to work. And PLENTY of time to learn to drive. Make the most of your time at school.

32

My vote would be to take a job on campus for the spring semester. You may be able to find something better than food service, or maybe not. The campus I went to was similar to yours in that the better on campus jobs generally were set aside for work-study students.

The fact that the managers “are idiots” should not be a big factor in your decision at this point. Learning to work for managers who are stupid or difficult is part of what you need to learn. Some of the things you will learn are how not to wind up like that, and how sometimes their actions are shaped by circumstances, and how to stand up to people when that’s what needs to be done. Most people have to work for an idiot or two. Getting experience will help you market yourself to better managers in the future and learn what kinds of “bad” you can tolerate in a manager.

One area where work can really help you is in focusing your studies. Because Liberal Studies with a focus on Social Relations is not especially marketable. It’s the kind of degree that may well have you deciding between the coffee shop and the mall even after you graduate. I do think it’s totally OK to be undecided at 19. But you should be working on your decision, and choosing from the jobs that actually exist, keeping in mind what they actually require, and what they actually pay.

I’d suggest talking with your school’s career placement office to see if you can get an internship in graphic design or communications this summer. There are lots of nonprofits (especially) that could offer you that type of opportunity. Pay would be low, or possibly even unpaid, but you would be learning about “real” work. I’d also suggest looking beyond your college town for this to expand your options.

Good luck!

33

I don’t see anything wrong with your situation.

I worked for a while at a grocery store during high school, but I had no job my first two years of college. When I needed to pay my own rent (my parents payed my rent while I was taking classes, but not during the summer), I got two part-time jobs, kept one of them during my senior year and took a tutoring position at my school. Once I graduated, I had no problem moving to a new city, finding a place to live, a job, etc. by myself.

I have never owned a car and, god willing, I never will.

34

[QUOTE=A.R. Cane]
Car ownership is very low on the list of character building, but work experience and learning the work ethic are right up there. Socializing and extracurricular activities are important learing experiences, but they need to be balanced w/ self discipline and learning to deal w/ adversity. Future perspective employers aren’t going to be interested in your vehicle ownership, but they’ll be very interested in your past employment and very likely in your general life experience.

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Absolutely.

I started with part-time jobs when I was 16 and continued all the way up to college.
When I dropped out of college :eek: , I got a full-time job and the work experience helped, both in interview and in developing work habits.

Aged 54, I am now semi-retired (I only work at all because it’s enjoyable :cool: ) and am financially secure.

I have never learned to drive and obviously never owned a car.

35

You’re probably reluctant to jump into working, and I can see why. You’ve got a comfortable living situation now and you don’t want to give it up.

But one of these days you are going to graduate, and you are going to look for a career. Remember though, you’re not entitled to be hired for anything. Potential employers are going to look for the best qualified person to fill their positions, even for entry level positions. Work experience is a huge factor. They’re not going to be interested in hearing excuses as to why you didn’t work. They’re going to look a LOT more favorably at somebody who attended school, didn’t have a car, and still managed to work part time. That shows you have determination and can be depended on to get the job done.

In your freshman year, you probably valued your new independence and ability to live outside your dad’s shadow. You also had to make the adjustment to college demands and saw how there’s a huge difference from high school. Thinking about a new career at this point is way too much to consider.

Now you’re a sophomore, living in an apartment instead of a dorm, and you survived the freshman weedout. You’ve accomplished a lot! And you still have to do more. There’s no reason you have to prove yourself by getting a part-time job NOW, but it’s something you have to plan on doing. Tell your dad how you’ve been looking into getting part-time work, and that you feel you have to get transportation first. Don’t tell him how you CAN’T, but how you CAN.