whats wrong with me?

In My Humble Opinion
1

ok, in 2000 i had to jobs at walmart
one was in the summer months, which was nice cuz all my friends worked there
then i went back at christmas for cashier and that was pure hell, worked 40 hours a week, plus high school, i ended up going insane with anxiety attacks and quiting
so i was 15 when i did that
now ill be 18 in 16 days and have yet to have a job since
im getting cut off from everything from my parents when im 18, no gas money, no allowance, blah blah blah
and i dont have a job
i have lists of places i wanna work at, but i cant seem to get off my ass to go hand them in…like ive tried every type of modivation but it doesnt seem to be working…i owe my dad about $1000 bby october and i dont have a penny… :I

did working at walmart that last time scare me for life of ever working again?
am i just one of those people who could never possibly like working?
am i just too used to relying on my parents or just too damn lazy?

i dont understand

2

what the hell, why did it show up twice?

3

It’s always difficult to make the kind of transition you are talking about, from kid under your parents’ wing to supporting yourself. As much as you think the fear of being on your own and broke, and in debt to your father, would motivate you to look, sometimes anxiety and fear can immobilize you. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you; you are just working through the changes that are taking place.

You have not been permanently scarred by Walmart (giving them the benefit of the doubt) and you will learn a lot more about how to handle yourself as you gain work experience.

You didn’t ask for advice, but what I would say is submit a number of applications. I know you are having a hard time following through on any of them, but getting a few different offers will be a nice situation to be in, as you can weigh the choices and feel like you have some control over your next step.

How is the employment market there? Will you have a number of places to choose from?

4

Well you can forget about that copy editor job.

5

Ladies and Gentlemen, Don Marquis.

6

Ahem…

I’d highly recommend an education.
Then you won’t have to settle for these traumatic jobs @ WalMart.

Another thing you may need to face, and rather quickly - is that you’re quite near being an “Adult” and unless we’re spoiled rich brats who are fortunate enough to live off our parents & their money til we’re 80… We have to learn to take care of ourselves.

Sometimes you may not like working.
Sometimes you may not like being alive.
But unless you romantically entertain thoughts about living in a 1975 era trailer park, with a 1 eyed dog named Buck who has scurvy, and no running water for miles… You have to make some sacrifices to get what you want and need.

Try another kind of job, take a career aptitude test & find out what sort of things you might enjoy, and be good at, then apply for some of those. As time goes by - having a schizophrenic work history will do nothing but prevent you from getting ANY job, including those at WalMart.

I work everyday with people who hate working, or find excuse upon excuse why they can’t or shouldn’t. And they won’t.
And those people my friend, are either homeless, or almost in the streets - living on a measly $130 a month in welfare.

Try something that doesnt involve crazy walmart people, cash handling or customer service. Maybe a factory job, assembly line, food plant, security officer job, painting houses, landscaping, kennel work… Just something you think you could deal with, and see how it goes. Temporary jobs would be the best to look for, that way, you have perfect excuses for why you were only there for a few weeks. And - you will get a variety of hands on experience to help you choose what you enjoy.

Right now is the only time people will overlook a lack of work history, so take advantage of that and try as much as you can, quickly, and settle into something for a good year or 3 so that youll have at least 1 good reference.
Jesus that was long winded. Sorry :]

Nothing is wrong with you - we all go thru stages where were uncertain & uncomfortable. All you can do is your best, and see how it turns out.

7

Honey, you’re depressed. Go talk to a doctor while you’re still on your parents’ health insurance.

And start walking at least 3 miles every morning; it works for depression.

8

Is it just me, or does it seem completely wrong for parents to cut off all support when a kid reaches 18 years of age?

I understand the need to support yourself, but to think that in a matter of weeks you can go from school and minimal responsibilities to self-sufficiency, and do any kind of good job at it, is ludicrous. It seems like the thing to do if you want to watch your kid struggle through cheap apartments, derelict roommates, and minimum-wage dead-end jobs through their twenties, sure, but if you want your kids to enjoy some measure of success, doesn’t it seem reasonable to offer them some support as they try to make it on their own? The “sink or swim” attitude seems primitive, at best.

Trancey, I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. Do you have any plans? Are you still in school, or planning to start college? How long can you stay with your parents?

You’re facing some of the most stressful events of your life; it’s no wonder you’re so bummed out you can barely move. It could very well be depression. Don’t be too hard on yourself, and try not to look at all the problems facing you at once; deal with things one at a time. Get out one job application a day, at least to start with. And get plenty of sleep, if it’s at all possible.

Good luck.

9

k guys
i went out yesterday and applied somewhere
and now i have an interview today :slight_smile:
the thing is its at a sex shop, now my parents are like “why the hell do u wanna work there, thats so perverted”
and i told then, “well uve been haSSAling me for the last year to get a job, so i might have one, so u can kiss my bum”…hehe

im graduated from highschool at the moment, and taking a year off to save some money and hopefully im going to college to take graphic design (majored in highschool) or interior design…maybe university…not sure yet

and i agree with Mr Invisible that cutting off kids at 18 is evil hehe
im allowed to stay at home as long as i want and not pay rent just as long as i clean the house
its just i had everything just given to me for free and they want me to pay for it now, my brother bought everything himself without the help of my parents and im just the “spoiled one” who getting a taste of a reality

10

I think I agree with your parents.

11

but did they have to give me it all at once?
:frowning:

12

Wait a minute.

You can live for free in return for services they could buy for less than two weeks worth of groceries for you.

And in return you get the one job they do NOT want you to have.

I wonder if Mr. Invisible (with whose post I completely agree) is still on your side.

13

my parents are cheap
like
u have no idea
i know they have money, its not liket hey dont
ive figured this out with their paychecks n balance books

k i said i had an interview right? well i went n i have a second tomorrow
i only have one night business looking outfiT…so i wore it twice at the place, theres no way i can wear it a second time, and thats hte onyl interview outfit i have, so i asked my family nicely if they could get me a shirt for tomorrow so i dont wear the same thing 3 times ina row
they said NO
so out of the kindness of my friends heart, she paid for it…
if my family wants me to get a job so fricken bad, I KINDA NEED CLOTHES TO WEAR TO WORK!

14

my parents are cheap
like
u have no idea
i know they have money, its not liket hey dont
ive figured this out with their paychecks n balance books

k i said i had an interview right? well i went n i have a second tomorrow
i only have one night business looking outfiT…so i wore it twice at the place, theres no way i can wear it a second time, and thats hte onyl interview outfit i have, so i asked my family nicely if they could get me a shirt for tomorrow so i dont wear the same thing 3 times ina row
they said NO
so out of the kindness of my friends heart, she paid for it…
if my family wants me to get a job so fricken bad, I KINDA NEED CLOTHES TO WEAR TO WORK!

15

Is it really possible that this person has graduated from high school?

16

Trancey, it seems to me that you enjoy pulling your parents’ chain. You are lucky that they are allowing you to live in their house for free. Some parents charge rent when their children become adults. When I was your age, the LAST place I wanted to live was with my parents. It sounds like you don’t really enjoy living with them anyway. So why not get a job and move out? What’s the good in arguing endlessly with your parents, resenting them, etc. (regardless of who is right or wrong)? If you don’t like it, you would be happier living on your own. But you need a job to do that. So get the job and move out.

17

Well, you asked what’s wrong with you, so I’ll do my best to tell you. Keep in mind that I tend to be brutally honest so I’m not going to coddle you or spare your feelings.
With that said…based on what you wrote:

You can’t manage your time
You have problems dealing with stress.

You’re lazy, fearful or lack adequate job skills, depending on how hard and why you looked or did not look for work.

Lazy it is then.

You are bad with money.

You are unappreciative…

…and spoiled and you don’t mind your own business.

You think the world owes you something.

Also, you spelling is so apalling, I feel stupider for having read it.
I can’t tell if you are depressed or sad or anything like that. I can tell you that unless you figure out how to get off your ass and take care of yourself, you are in for a pathetic life. I can’t even recommend for you to go to college until you screw your head on straight. You’ll just end up longing around drinking and smoking weed all day until you fail out (doesn’t matter if you don’t do these things now).

Or maybe you will get lucky, your parents will feel sorry for you, and the next thing you know you’ll be 30, single, and still living at home, never having worked a real job. I’ve seen it happen.

Sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but its something you should hear.

18

Gee - I’ve worked 40-50 hours a week for 12 years now.

I didn’t know my life sucked that bad.

[/sarcasm]

Free room and board. The parent are not kicking you out. All they’re asking is that you start supplying your own living expenses.

I’m also surprised and offended that you’ve been through their checkbook. What an invasion of privacy! You say they’ve got money - what makes you think you’re entitled to it? Did you earn it or did they?

Also, your idea of a healthy bank balance and their’s may be very different. You don’t sound like you really know what it costs to live day to day in this country. You owe your father $1000. Well $1000 doesn’t go that far. $1000 covers my car payment, the insurance for it, the costs of operating it for about a month and a half. $1000 will pay my utilities for a little over two months. If you can’t find a way to save $1000 while having every other expense covered, then you’ll never learn to live in the real world where the landlord will throw out on your ass when you can’t find $1000 for rent.

Get a job like everybody else. We all work for a living out here in the real world. This is part of adulthood. I’d recommend additional training past high school. Look at this training with the question, “Can I earn a living with this?”. Too many people quit because their job isn’t leading them to some sort of higher state of being. I like what I do and I’m good at it. It’s still hard every morning to drag myself out of bed and make it to my desk at 8 am. This, however, is what a responsible adult does - especially and adult who had others depending on me.

As far as additional education, there’s the whole “education” or “training” argument that the art majors & ancient French Lit. majors will throw around but the frank truth is that the real world pays you for skills. They pay you because you can do something for them that lets them make money. If you haven’t got anything to offer them, then they’re not going to be hiring you.

Have you considered the military? There’s travel, job trainging, & a paycheck involved. When you get out, there’s often an opportunity for tuition for college. Military experience is a good resume builder. A lot of employers like the discipline that the program imparts.

Instead of resenting your folks, maybe you should be thanking them for providing hot water, food, housing, & a telephone. In the real world, the costs for these things come out of your paycheck. It sounds like they’re supplying a car as long as you have gas money, too. This is a sweet deal - don’t blow it!

19

ok first of all
they showed me their balance books
i didnt go snooping around, and i know how much is costs to live day to day in MY country, which is canada.

second, how can i manage time if i worked 40 hours a week at the age of 15? (i think i failed to mention that before)
hmm lets see…
i woke up for school at 6, was there at 8, finished school at 3:20
at work at 4, till 11:30 at night, didnt get home till about 12-12:30
so where in hell could i manage time when i had NO TIME TO DO SO? and yes, i did have stress from knowing i was gonna fail (and did fail) 3 classes because of that job…hence why i went insane and quit.

and as i mentioned b4, i had a job interview, i had a second today and i have a 95% chance i get the job which is 35 hours a week

and yes, im thankful im not like many of my friends who have to pay rent…and with the $1000, my dad gave me this lil warning last month…and im bad with money because i cant come up with 1000 with a snap of my fingers?

20

As tempting as it is for people who’ve had jobs for years to dismiss the problems that trancey is going through as histrionics, I have to think back to what it was like to try and get my first full-time job, and how terrifying it was to go through the interview process, and how little I knew about working life, and managing money, and all the minutiae that I’ve picked up in decades of experience. Belittling someone who’s in a difficult situation is unproductive at best; belittling someone who’s depressed is pretty cruel.

Trancey, I’m really glad that you’ve lined up a job for yourself; it’s something you should be proud of. A sex shop is going to be very, very educational, and provide you with a lot of opportunities. Be careful which ones you take advantage of. And you’re right; you’re an adult, and you get to pick which job suits you best.

Having a place to live rent-free, however, is a major bonus. It’s worth house-cleaning, and then some. It’s certainly worth at least feigning respect for your parents; you may be surprised at how much even a little bit of consideration or helpfulness or generosity will improve your relationship with them. And it’s up to them whether you stay or not; making sure it’s worth their while to have you around won’t hurt.

Talk to your dad about making payments on the debt you owe him, once you start your job. Offer to pay him a certain amount every payday; don’t put it off, pay him as soon as you get paid, that way you don’t miss the money, and don’t spend it anywhere else. Ask if you can defer your first payment until your second paycheck, so you can get some clothes for the job.

Take it slow, one step at a time, and it’ll all work out. Just keep plugging away at it.