Ah, the joys of being an idiot 23 yr old. My job was entering data. I had my little desk spot, staring at a wall and my computer screen. Looking back, I should never have taken it. My personality doesn’t suit such a job, but it was a contract and I thought I could handle it while it lasted (almost two summers worth).
So last summer was decent - I worked well. Then, something happened. I started my last year of college and it was like everything just stopped working. I did alright in most of my classes, but there was this freshmen level class, easy, easy…but I didn’t do anything. Ended up getting a C. A C! When getting an A would be easy. My brains evaporated (if only).
So, this summer - same problem. It’s like I forgot how to dicipline myself. I wasn’t entering data like I had, and starting goofing off. I knew I was being awful, I know it was stupid. I mean, the job market is awful. Even if I do live at home (going to college here and there’s no rent at home), money is still very good. Why did I screw myself out of a job? I’m not sure when/if I’ll be able to find another one. It didn’t matter if I couldn’t stand my job - people have done worse, and more boring things for money. I should have been overjoyed! But I wasn’t. What I thought was my mind-set apparently isn’t - I really am a spoiled, selfish brat. I would’a fired me, too.
Now, while I think I get over the above (look and wait for a job I enjoy, make sure I’ve got people looking out for how I do) what I’m not looking forward to is going home. I know what happened, I know it’s my fault. I made a stupid mistake, and I’m resolved not to let it happen again. I need to grow up and move on. But my parents will harp and harp. Every job from now on, they’ll be at me. Which is why earlier I lied…it might be better to tell the truth, and get it over with, but I don’t think I can deal with the, “You disappoint us” speech. I disappoint myself, I don’t need the weight of more disapproval. Not to mention them suddenly taking a great interest in my job life.
I’m 23. Yes, I still live at home (for as short as a duration as possible), but where’s the line between, “We pay for you, do as we say.” and treating me as someone a bit more in charge of her life? I really don’t know. If I was brave, I’d get a steady job and leave, but I’m not. I’m like Happy Scrappy Hero Pup’s girlfriend in many ways. I need to do things on my own, and make mistakes, and run my own life. I did for awhile in college, and while I did mess things up, when things went well, it was a great feeling.
Better than this feeling that my parents are trying to turn me back into the 16 hyper obedient child I was.
And now, when so many people on here are hurting job-wise, I act the idiot and lose the one I had.
Yell at me people, I deserve it.