I deservedly got fired today

Ah, the joys of being an idiot 23 yr old. My job was entering data. I had my little desk spot, staring at a wall and my computer screen. Looking back, I should never have taken it. My personality doesn’t suit such a job, but it was a contract and I thought I could handle it while it lasted (almost two summers worth).

So last summer was decent - I worked well. Then, something happened. I started my last year of college and it was like everything just stopped working. I did alright in most of my classes, but there was this freshmen level class, easy, easy…but I didn’t do anything. Ended up getting a C. A C! When getting an A would be easy. My brains evaporated (if only).

So, this summer - same problem. It’s like I forgot how to dicipline myself. I wasn’t entering data like I had, and starting goofing off. I knew I was being awful, I know it was stupid. I mean, the job market is awful. Even if I do live at home (going to college here and there’s no rent at home), money is still very good. Why did I screw myself out of a job? I’m not sure when/if I’ll be able to find another one. It didn’t matter if I couldn’t stand my job - people have done worse, and more boring things for money. I should have been overjoyed! But I wasn’t. What I thought was my mind-set apparently isn’t - I really am a spoiled, selfish brat. I would’a fired me, too.

Now, while I think I get over the above (look and wait for a job I enjoy, make sure I’ve got people looking out for how I do) what I’m not looking forward to is going home. I know what happened, I know it’s my fault. I made a stupid mistake, and I’m resolved not to let it happen again. I need to grow up and move on. But my parents will harp and harp. Every job from now on, they’ll be at me. Which is why earlier I lied…it might be better to tell the truth, and get it over with, but I don’t think I can deal with the, “You disappoint us” speech. I disappoint myself, I don’t need the weight of more disapproval. Not to mention them suddenly taking a great interest in my job life.

I’m 23. Yes, I still live at home (for as short as a duration as possible), but where’s the line between, “We pay for you, do as we say.” and treating me as someone a bit more in charge of her life? I really don’t know. If I was brave, I’d get a steady job and leave, but I’m not. I’m like Happy Scrappy Hero Pup’s girlfriend in many ways. I need to do things on my own, and make mistakes, and run my own life. I did for awhile in college, and while I did mess things up, when things went well, it was a great feeling.

Better than this feeling that my parents are trying to turn me back into the 16 hyper obedient child I was.

And now, when so many people on here are hurting job-wise, I act the idiot and lose the one I had.

Yell at me people, I deserve it.

Not that I’m excusing goofing off at work, but if the job was really good, you probably would have felt challenged and rewarded enough to prevent this. As it turns out, the job stunk, and you phoned it in. There’s very little shame in that, and I’m sure you’ll find something better quickly enough.

Thank your lucky stars this happened while you’re living with your folks! Nothing less fun than being unemployed while living on your own, wondering how you can make rent and other bills.

I’ll do no such thing. I’ve been fired a few times. I probably deserved it, too, but no amount of yelling would have helped me find something I liked to do.

Best to just open up the newspaper and start again. Learn something from this, too, while you’re at it. :slight_smile:

Good luck.

I hope you learned your lesson. Now stop whining.

Ouch. Big sympathy from someone who’s been there too. It’s just about the worst feeling in the world, but it is possible to get through it. Looks like you’re handling it well so far. Best of luck.

It’s a tough line to walk, that between finding fulfillment at work and having a job that pays the bills. You’ll need to find where you draw that line, and how un-interesting a job gets before the cost/benefit analysis leads you to not succeed at it.

As Chastain86 said, at home with parents is a great place from which to explore the job market. When you’ve got 800 dollars a month in bills to pay, losing a job becomes a much more serious matter.

Thanks. And Eonwe and Chastain86 - thanks putting this in the right perspective.

I’m 22 and I’ve been fired or let go from all my jobs save two (including my current one) and honestly, I deserved it almost every time. It’s something I don’t like admitting and I think this is the first time I have done so but it’s true.

The sad thing is, I don’t think I’ve really learned my lesson and could easily see myself falling into the same trap again if I were to get a second job (I’d have to fuck up royally to lose this one). I hope you’re more mature than I am and that this one incident was enough to convince you to be more diligent.

Maybe I’ll do the same one day.

Look, you’ve just been given a wake-up call saying it’s time to move on.
Lots of people stay for years in jobs that don’t suit them because they don’t have the courage to try something else, or they are just waiting for something better to “come along”. (Something better never just comes along, you have to actively go get it).

Good for you for owning up to your mistake. Most people would blame everyone but themselves. Now you need to learn from your mistake and when you do you can be justifiably proud.

Haj

Sorry, glad you are facing up to it.

I’ll yell at you.

Its sure nice to be living at home when that happens. At the same time, it sure sucks to be the parents of an adult child who lives at home and can’t be bothered to hold a job. They probably go to work every day, possibly in jobs they find unfullfilling. They have a mortgage to pay, groceries to buy. But you can’t respect that enough to do your part and hold your job. Apparently, you still are a sixteen year old kid who needs to be told exactly what you need to be done and what your responsibilities are. Just when they were thinking “yea!, we can have sex on the dining room table again, soon as Achren moves out” you throw them this loop.

Time to catch the grown up bus. I think you’ve bothered to find the stop though - so you might get on the next one.

I was fired from my first job out of college after only two months.

I deserved it. It was the right field but the wrong position. I stank.

If you ever have to lose your job (and personally, I think it’s a necessary evil everyone has to go through once) ou’re in the perfect time and place for it.

Now, learn your lesson, pick yourself up and don’t do it again.

Wanna go out?

All you have to do is make me love you, treat me like crap, and then drop me in the most offensive and callous way possible.

But seriously, I’ll give you the same advice I gave my ex. I hope you take it.

  1. Be grateful to your parents- they’re providing you with wonderful opportunities and you should thank them for it. But don’t be so beholden to them for it that you forget who you are.

  2. Tighten the belt a little bit and put some money away in a place you can’t touch it (like a three-branch savings bank or a non-ATM account)- even if it’s ten bucks a week. You’ll have a little bit of a rainy-day fund, plus you’ll have the pride of watching something grow that’s yours.

  3. Don’t take a job just to have a job. You won’t respect it and you’ll get fired again. That said, if all you can find is stuff you don’t like, take the most palatable one and work your ass off at it. Be the best you can be at whatever you do, even if it’s something you don’t want. Because when they’re going to promote a shit-shoveler, they promote the one who works hard, not the one who sits on her ass and complains about how she shouldn’t be shoveling shit. (nice alliteration, yes?)

  4. Above all, it’s YOUR life. Do what makes you proud to be you, regardless of the initial hardship. One thing my ex never understood was that initial resistance fades and then people learn to accept you for you. Jobs and parents and everything else are like bullies- they do what they can until you tell them they can’t. They resist, and you either fold or stay strong. Fold, and you’re fucked. Stay strong, and they’ll deal with you on your terms, and that’s a whole lot better than the temporary comfort of going along to get along.
    If you need any help or moral support, you can e-mail me. The reason my ex’s betrayal stung so much is because I used to be her and I used to be you. Set a goal for yourself and go get it. Even if you’re wrong, even if you fall (and everyone falls, there’s no shame in that), you’re still working toward YOUR goal and nobody else’s. All the blame might be on you, but then, so will all the pride when you get where you’re going. And you will get where you’re going with perseverance and pride in yourself.

Go kick ass, Achren. You deserve it, so go get it.

Oh, and the one most important thing. I mean MOST.

Money- if you accept it from ANYONE, make sure they know it’s a gift. Any money given with conditions- don’t touch it, no matter how badly you might need it. Then you’re bought- you’re used to a certain standard of living that you can’t maintain on your own, and you’re beholden to thers for maintenance of that standard.

If anyone wants to give you money, no matter how weird it might sound to you or to them, make sure they know there are no conditions on their giving.

“Here’s two hundred. Now you can get a nice skirt and go get that nasty job your father and I want you to have.”
“Keep the money. I’ll find my own job, thanks.”

You’re in this “life” thing for YOU and nobody else.

That’s pretty much why I’m already looking for another job. Living at home, I have few expenses - nothing that can’t be cut. So I’ll be able to save what I’ve earned so far…but…like you said with the money…sure, my parents will say it’s a gift with no strings attached, but they don’t mean it.

Short story: I’d just walked into the living room and sat down. My mom asked to go fill up her water. She does this all the time - you just sit down, and she asks you a favor. So I said “No”, she returns with, “We pay for your college”

stunned silence

Then I pointed out that I would do as she asked because I love her. If she chose to base it on money, I’d just earn my own way and never look back.

more stunned silence

I think we came to a vague agreement. If it’s not school or some kind of freak emergency thing, I pay for it. I like being beholden only to myself about what I do with money - and it’s much easier to do when it’s your own!

As far as your ex…well, at most, I know better than to get involved with someone at this moment. Thus I have many guy friends, but no boyfriends. I think that’s a decision I can live with. I’ve got a soft heart and neither want to hurt or be the cause of hurt to someone else.

Let me see if I understand you correctly … you are 23 years old, you live at home with your parents who pay for the roof over your head, the food in your belly, the electricity that keeps you warm or cool as needed, the education you need to get ahead in life … do I have this right so far?

And you haven’t told your parents that you deliberately flaked off at your job and now you’ve been fired?

And your mom asked you to refill her water and you said no???

Damn, you are a spoiled little girl and if you were my daughter you wouldn’t be living at home any longer unless you appreciated what I was giving you, showed me some respect, kept your grades up, and held down a job to contribute to your expenses. You’re acting like a teenager and your parents owe you something - grow up!

Achren - What Adoptamom_II said. How can you “do things on my own, and make mistakes, and run my own life.” when you’re sponging off your parents. You’re 23 years old!! Grow up! Face it, most people don’t particularly love what they do. That’s why it’s called work.

So that’s the end of the do-better speech. Now go out and do it. You’ll find that once you start making your own way in the work it’s not so bad. You find that working to pay for the things you have makes you appreciate those things that much more.

StG

I also have to second what Adoptamom_ll said.

I moved out of my parents house when I was 18, after I graduated high school and worked my way through college, paying my own tuiton and my own room and board. I’m a helluva lot better for it now.

Thing is, I used to always really resent girls like you. Mommy and Daddy paid their way and they looked at having some piddly little job as such a burden, (if they even had a job at all) when it was only for spending money anyway!

Then I realized I was just jealous. I wished my parents paid my way, so I could just concentrate on my studies and enjoy college, without having to worry about how I was going to make my next tuiton payment and pay for rent and food at the same time. So I really tried to check myself when I felt the urge to yell out “oh, poor widdle BABY!” whenever someone who was getting a free ride would bitch about having to work a part time job in the library for spending money or that their parents were giving them shit for coming home late. No one’s making you live at home!

But I feel no need to check myself with you. You’re 23 years old. You live at home. You don’t need to work, you’ve got no bills. You’re getting a free ride in college. And you’re complaining about how much of a “hold” your parents have on you? Refusing to get your mom a glass of water?

Comon’ now.

Looks like it’s time for someone to quit their bitching and buy a ticket to “adultville”. You’re 23 years old. Your parents don’t owe you a damn thing. If you don’t want them to hold anything over your head or impose any rules on you, then start paying your own way. Take out student loans if you can’t afford to pay your own tuiton. Get a roommate and move out of your parents house. You’re long overdue.

You can’t have it both ways, sweetheart. You’re not a teenager anymore, so quit acting like one.

I realize that this may not be what you want to hear, but it is reality. The first job I got that I really liked was at age 35. Honestly, that was the first time I drove to work being excited about the day’s prospects.

Since then, I’ve had three jobs, all better than the previous, all because I found something better.

You gotta pay your dues.

I hope you find another job soon. I was going to yell at you but then I remembered being 23, stupid, and genuinely surprised that calling my boss a “pork-fed tool of capitalism” would actually get me fired. And I was a long way from my parents’ house.

Get back to work as soon as possible. Do not wait for a job that is worthy of your undoubtedly vast capacity. The first ability required in every job is to show up and do the work, and it’s amazing how many smart, talented people just don’t have this knack. Try this on: do a good job, not because the work is fulfilling (it may not be), not because your co-workers are fabulous (unlikely), not because it’s a stepping stone to something better (possible, but no guarantees). Try doing a good job because you’re taking their money.

And it’s good that you want independence. You must realize, however, that it has to be purchased with your own money. In other words, self-reliance comes first.

This was not my first job. I’ve had a few others (one I had for three years) and left with good recommendations. I currently have a 3.6/4.0 at the college I’m attending. What I remember meaning in my OP (though I might not have said) was that doing a good job is normal for me - this last year hasn’t been normal. I’m used to meeting/exceeding expectations…and to treating my mom well and showing her and my dad respect. I realize that the above story doesn’t demonstrate this…but that’s one moment of the 23 years I’ve been their daughter.

I’m just saying that for some reason, I’m falling below what I expect of myself. I don’t know why nor do I like it, but it’s happened and now I have to deal with the consequences.

lezlers - I know I have it easy - my complaints run few and far between and today was just one of those days. I have too many friends who’ve taken out loans and count on getting scholarships to not know how easy my life is. One of these friends also had to loan her parents money because of some bad financial trouble they were in. It was a hard semester for her, but the rest of us offered to help when we could, and when she’d let us. I don’t want to be like the girls in your posts, and I think overall, I’m not. But I do have a selfish skin that I’ve been working on getting off…on day, hopefully, I’ll be free of it. Thank you for reminding me how awful I can be.