Oh, the red flags are waving wildly in high and low places right now. This being the internet, and not knowing who reads what, I didn’t want to make too bold a claim. There are actually a couple of juicy little tidbits I know that, because it is work sensitive information, should truly keep to myself at this time. That was part of respect training. However, as it has no bearing on my behaviour/attitude in this situation, it’s irrelevent. Suffice to say, they are an awesome company, and they know a rat when they smell one.
Also, what you say about the driving is true; my husband and I have organised a couple of trips for us to take on our days off with some freeway routes, so I can get used to driving them. In the future, I’ll drive myself.
Go to a driving school and take a lesson. Just tell them you know how to drive but want a specific lesson on freeway driving. There is a right and wrong way to do it and practicing won’t do you any good unless you are doing it right to begin with. I’d imagine just one lesson would be enough.
Try your best to prevent your husband from speaking to him about this. You’re in a good place right now - the assistant manager is aware of everything that’s gone on, you’re behaving professionally, and the idiot has already made one stupid “Anastasaeon won’t tell me her little secrets and laugh at my jokes anymore” complaint. If your husband tries to tell him off, he’ll immediately run to HR about “unprofessional behavior” and “threats”, and it will turn into a “he said/she said” situation. Other than that, you’ve handled this perfectly.
I think you should continue to “polite him” to death. Treat him, coolly, professionally, at arms-length. Do not engage in any conversation not work related.
Shun him. And by all means, keep Hubby far away. He will only escalate the situation and make Co-Jerker an aggrieved party.
For some reason, when I try to picture this jerk, my mind delivers an image of Paul Reiser’s character in Aliens, even if PR’s character was on the side of the Corporation. It’s just that he was the very picture of smarm, as is your prick co-worker.
Does Amtrak still have service between Seattle and Portland? I used to take it between those cities when I lived in one and my sister was in the other. Works well, if you need to travel that route alone again.
I agree that your coworker was a complete jerk, and that your husband needs to stay out of it. If you drag it on, you will look childish (even if you’re icily polite) and ultimately come out looking the worse for it.
Flip him the bird. no wait. give me his phone number and I’ll talk to him. no wait. I’ll be in seattle for Chrimma, I’ll talk to him then. Nothing is worse than one of my booze fueled shrill angry rants.
God that story made me really mad. The passive agressive talking around you but not to you is the worst part to me.
Keep the husband TOTALLY out of it. My partner and I used to work at the same company - it is very hard to keep your personal feelings out of it, but he must act as if you are a co-worker he barely knows. Let the idiot hang himself, don’t let your husband get dragged down with him!
It makes sense to have the backup plan but don’t give up on human nature due to the behavior of an obvious sociopath. Good luck on the driving. I’m born and bred in L.A., and I find Seattle traffic to be a bitch. Soon, you’ll be driving like a maniac just like the rest of us. Just don’t let those 45mph Oregonian drivers bum you out!
You know, one thing you haven’t done that I might consider is telling the jerk, if he ever brings it up again, that he was inconsiderate, he did inconvenience you, and you didn’t appreciate it. And drop it after that. Being assertive is not letting people step on your toes, and it is also letting people know when they have stepped on your toes.
And your husband needs to stay out of it. Which you probably figured out already.
I wonder if maybe my husband should stay out of this?
In all seriousness, I spoke with my husband when we got home tonight after work, and though he’s still a little worked up, I managed to gently coax him into letting me handle this. He still grumpily told me to call him or inform him if anything else happens. Sure, I’ll tell him - after anything inappropriate has gone through all the proper channels and been handled by those who are paid to do the handling.
Exactly. I’d think that carpooling would be rather common in this situation. You’re going to the same place at the same time and it’s mandatory. It’s a considerable distance. If it were my workplace, people would be pooling to save gas money. It was just unfortunate that you got stuck with the one guy who didn’t take this seriously.
Is he still on probation? At my company, one absence is not generally a fireable offense, but within the first three months, they can tell you, “It’s not working out” and let you go. (I think in our state they can technically fire you for no reason at any time, though.)
Your link made me laugh out loud. Bitterly, but out loud.
[Off topic]Never did manage to arrange that drink, did we? Right now, no one’s been going, or it’s been spotty. The end of season wind-down/inventory makes it harder to schedule things. Also, I’ve been meaning to ask my co-worker about bus schedules, since that’s his main form of transit. Lately, instead of 6:00-7:00pm, lots of us have been staggering out of work at 7:30-8:30pm - and all we want to do is go home and forget the whole damn day![/OT]
I’m exactly the same as you with the whole driving thing. I feel uneasy at the thought if having to manoever around in a strange city. I have nightmares of me driving slowly because I’m checking out the map or the streetsigns, then more and more annoyed drivers behind me start honking, I get stressed out and make a wrong turn, and end up causing a congestion jam that paralyses the whole center of Amsterdam for hours. For which they bill me the damages. Something like that.
So I was surprised what a breeze driving becomes when we bought a GPS computer for our car. We bought ours for 200 bucks and it has been a life saver this vacation. It tells me, in a calm and reassuring voice, plenty of time ahead, where to go. If I take a wrong turn, it patiently leads me out if the situation and on track again. I’m proud to announce that I, who am practically Miss Daisy herself when it comes to driving, have chauffeured my fiance and myself straight through the center of a foreign town (Copenhagen, in my case), this last vacation, in a beeline to our hotel.
Can I just pick up on one point: what’s wrong with emailing in sick? Or confirming by email? I can’t spot you detailing the nature of his sickness but I’ve emailed my boss that I was sick before when I had a swolen uvula and couldn’t really speak. And I most definitely wasn’t answering the phone that day.
I’ve done the same, when I had bronchitis and laryngitis. In my case, I called and left a (probably inaudible) message on the Sick People Voicemail number and then sent an email directly to my supervisor.
However, as it has no bearing on my behaviour/attitude in this situation, it’s irrelevent. Suffice to say, they are an awesome company, and they know a rat when they smell one.
