First let me say that I am a determined Pesimist. I go throuh life being happier when I am suffering than when I am enjoying the rewards of hard work. You’d understand if you knew me…
About every six weeks, I get very depressed. To the point wear nothing really makes me happy. I am in that state of mind right now. When I am like this I feel that I am happier when I deny myself things that I deserve or enjoy. Example: I usually work 80 hours a week. I need sleep, however I have just volunteered for more overtime at my job simply because I don’t want to reward body with the sleep it deserves. Example 2: At work we all busted our asses to get a job done and the boss bought us Pizza. I was a major part of the work effort, yet I felt that I in no way should partake in the reward that eveyone else was so happy to get.
Now I am not someone into the self inflicted pain. I am not one of those people that break a light bulb on the floor only to walk on the broken glass. I don’t sit around cutting myself just to watch the blood run down my arm. Its just that for week every month and a half, I just really don’t want to be happy, at all. I usually am not happy anyway, but during these times of depression, I don’t crack jokes, play games, goof off or things I usually do.
Sometimes I don’t even know that I am in this rut. The other day I laughed at something and my girlfriend said that she was happy to see me smile, that I hadn’t done that in quite a long time. I didn’t even realize it till she said that.
At this time I have probally confused any Dopers who are trying to read this. Its late, I’m tired, and by now I am sure that I am rambling. I just thought I would share, thats all…
First of all, very few women actually have that Emotional rollercoaster every month.
We aren’t shrinks here but it seems to me that you’d do better with one. They can sort it all out for you. But hey, how are you going to make the time to see one?
Men actually do have a fertility cycle, like women, but in most mammals (including humans) it’s both less pronounced and less regular, so I suppose that “male PMS” can’t be ruled out. Forgive me if this is getting too personal, but do you also notice yourself getting more horny on that same six-week cycle, perhaps the week immediately before or after your depression? (You might also ask your girlfriend if she’s noticed this, if you haven’t been paying attention.) In any event, though, if it really bothers you, it probably would be worthwhile to see a professional.
It’s not a joke… Between ages 15 and 18 I got depressed, every month, on the first-quarter moon, without fail. I kept track of it. My doctor mentioned that it may have had something to do with an hormonal cycle, but we never did figure it out. Now my depressions are much less regular, but longer.
Handy - how do you know that “very few” women actually go through the “emotional rollercoaster” every month? How many of the approximately 3 billion women on this earth do you know? Really. How many women do you “know” well enough to “know” what they go through every month? You’re going to quote some study? Let me tell you, Doctors don’t know, Researchers don’t know, Women don’t even know.
As a matter of fact, Mr. Cynical, I don’t know. I only wish I knew why the universe would perpetrate such a cruel and clever joke upon those of us split btwn the legs.
But really, I do not believe that any type of depression/anxiety/pain or whatever you want to call it is worse than any other. I don’t think that women have it worse than men (or the converse). Pain is pain, and DAYUIZ I know how frustrating cyclical pain can be. The best advice I have is to immerse yourself in something complex and beautiful (music theory is one that has been helping me lately).