While banging a hot 19 year old does sound tempting, I can imagine many possible outcomes that would be bad…
Me too. Which of those outcomes don’t also apply to banging a 35 year old?
My dad married my mom when she was 18 and he was 32. They had five children and were married until he died 3 years ago. My husband is 15 years older than me and that’s worked out pretty well. 
I’d say go for it.
But that was my point: he’s either interested in Elly, in which case he needs to forget about the kid, or he’s just horny, in which case I told him to go for the 19-year-old. 
10 to 1 on that the 35 year-old would show him a better time in bed…
I was actually just about to say that sex with a 19 year old is, in general, not as much fun as it sounds.
It all *looks * good, but … no idea what to do with it.
I have a few friends about your age that recently went through similar things. Although each really enjoyed it at time, each one now regrets it due to unforeseen consequences.
With one guy, he knew the young girl was forward and quirky, which he liked. What he didn’t know was that she would find it fun to tell her Daddy, who was just 2 years older than my friend, that she was with a guy almost his age. As you can imagine, Daddy didn’t like the thought of this, and hunted my friend down, made a big scene about “seducing his baby” ( which was not the case at all, she totally came on to him first) and told the guy he better stay away. This was all done in front of a large group, and the guy will never live it down.
Another guy said it wasn’t worth it because the jokes and teasing from envious friends just went too far. Even after the short relationship ended, he was constantly asked if he would be going to the homecoming dance. Would he be double dating with his son, who was close in age to the girl. If someone else mentioned they had a daughter in school, didn’t matter how old the daughter was, people would pipe up and say, “Better watch out for so and so, he has thing for young girls.” It never ended, it has been years now, and if anyone sees a girl in a school uniform, they immediately joke about the guy wanting her phone number. The girl he had briefly dated was 19, in college, but as the talk continued on, it was reported that she was still in high school. The joking started in fun, but ended up being something that wasn’t so funny when women closer to his age would hear about it, and not want to date someone they thought might end up dumping them for a younger model.
So if you do decide to go out with her, be prepared for the consequences.
And in an effort of full disclosure, my husband is 14 years older than I am, so I definately don’t have a problem with an age difference. The age difference just becomes much more pronounced when one of the people can’t even legally go into a bar.
I think you’re probably too old for her. I’m ten years older than she is, and 37 is almost too old for me.
Another thing to remember is that even a mature-seeming girl that age can be astonishingly naive. That’s about the age when I:
A. realized that you can’t talk to lovelorn male friends the same way you do female friends. Guys interpret “oh, don’t say that you’re destined to be alone. I’m sure you’ll find someone” in a completely different way than your female friends do. She knows you’re being sympathetic, but he thinks you mean you. It’s awkward when you just meant to be supportive!
B. realized that a friend’s crush wasn’t hanging around me because he wanted to talk about her. I thought his inviting himself to eat breakfast with me a couple times a week was a great time to put in a good word for my friend. Then he asked me to sleep with him. oops.
C. realized that a slightly older flamboyant, flirty theater major I’d been friends with wasn’t flirty just because she was theatrical - only after she graduated and dated a bi friend of mine over the summer. My only excuse for not catching on sooner was she was dating a guy when we were friends.
She might be hitting on you Skald, but odds are at least equal that she thinks she’s helping move things along with you and Elly instead. If you make a move, she may well be astonished.
When I was 19, I started dating a guy that was 29. I knew exactly what I wanted, and I got it. We’re still together after a year and a half. As he says to me quite often, it’s not the years, babe, it’s the mileage.
Do what you want, if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.
This part: this is the part you need to remember in all of this. It is 100% absolutely true.
Is it not obvious to anyone else that Elly and Beth are already dating?
First, I agree with every word of Ivylass and DianaG’s posts. Second, what are you looking for, Skald? Are you looking for a bit of fun, or are you looking for a long-term, fulfilliing, mature relationship with a future? I think you can guess which woman would fit which goal.
Third, I don’t like Beth very much.
(Is it just my imagination, or are the responses to this question almost perfectly divided along gender lines?)
I’m a guy Skald’s age and I would never date a young woman of 19. EVER. I taught at a liberal arts college for some years and seeing the 19-somethings come into class and hear what they talk about etc…etc… I don’t see a man of 37 having much in commen.
Remember the Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost ark - when Indy is teaching and the girl in the front row closes her eyes and written on the lids is the phrase - LOVE YOU - Love on one side and You on the other… I’m thinking this is what we have here. A young woman with a questioning mind.
I would never consider it. Skald - whats wrong with women your age?
You were going for Elly, right, and then got distracted? This sounds like the flirtatious feminine equivalent of cock-blocking. Girl sounds like trouble.
Gah! I wrote a long, brilliant response to all your posts–in the form of a Petrachan sonnet, yet, with multiple allusions to The Waste Land and Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency --which has disappeared. Damn hamsters.
A lesser man, or maybe a smarter man, would give up at this point. But I am either too great or too dumb.
But first an update. Beth just called me back (before I could call her back), and we discussed a few things some of y’all mentioned upthread (though I didn’t mention that I’m Christian to the Dope’s Cyrano). First off, I asked her if she was prompting me to ask her out so that she could give me advice about Elly; she replied that she was not running a charity and pointed out that I might infer something about her intentions given that she called me back before the deadline she herself set. She also encouraged me to stop being obtuse.
THAT said, we are supposed to go out on Tuesday. If it goes disasterously or humorously or some combination, I may update y’all. If it goes well, I’ll likely keep it to myself, as I am, after all, Southern.
On to some more specific responses:
In general I’d say I’m looking for a long-term relationship, but of course that always has to start with fun. So even if we hit it off marvelously on an actual date, I would be inclined to break it off if it were obvious she was not long-term material.
I can imagine several reasons for that – she is a mite, ah, acerbic at times–but why not?
I think this afternoon’s phone call settled that.
The last time I went to a bar was – well, I’m not sure. But it wasn’t this year. So that is not going to bother me.
Yes, because I need more sitcom elements in my life. :rolleyes:
I live in the SOUTH, dude(ette). Odds are at least ONE of them owns a gun, so I’ll skip that step.
Like hell. I have the emotional maturity of a banana nut muffin, thankyouverymuch. :mad:
I quoted you directly and she was insulted; she said she intends to sound like someone from a Jane Austen novel, only meaner.
My testicles to be delivered, obviously.
You’re utterly right there that I’m likely tossing all chance with Elly out the window by going out with Beth, if only because she’d have to be irritated. On the other hand, Beth’s opinion is that I was totally blowing it with Elly anywhistle. On the other hand, she may be being mendacious. On the other other hand, I seem certain to be blowing it with one no matter which I ask out, and Beth is clearly more approachable. On the other other other hand …
Okay, I’ll stop there.
Dude, when I am God-King and you are Grand Vizier and de facto ruler of Earth, won’t you just be able to say, "Go out with me or I’ll have all your family condemned to the artichoke mines? And why wouldn’t you have a harem, anythistle?
I think you would have a better time with Elly. And Beth is too young for you. Hell, Beth sounds too young for me, and I’m 21.
But do what you want. You only live once.
I was going for a woman my age when I started.
Oh, I figured that out for myself.
If you don’t take Beth out you will hate yourself for the rest of your life. Yes, she’s 19, but from the way she talks she’s more mature than you anyway. She at least knows how to ask someone out, something you haven’t learned in 37 years.
She’s vivacious, she’s smart, she’s fun to be around, and for some idiotic reason she’s interested in you. Women like this are rarer than diamonds on the beach. If you don’t call her on Monday and ask her out, you deserve a severe ass kickin’.
Skald, my grandmother told me once that there’s all kinds of stupid in the world, and when you find someone you like, if you stay away from them because of something like their age, then you’ve found yourself one kind of stupid for sure.
Smart woman, my grandmother. Nobody in my family is married to anyone less than ten years apart in age, and everybody’s happy. Age schmage.
I don’t care abou Beth or Elly, but I would pay you to stop the anywhistle schtick.