How do you know that Elly has “paid her dues in the dating world”?
And, Ellly wasn’t cockblocked by Beth; Skald was. He was making his move on Elly, and Beth interrupted. That’s where the flag goes on the play.
Elly, for her part, just laughed at Skald. Had she been interested in him at all, that would have been her opportunity to step up to the plate. Instead, she laughed. Game over. She wasn’t interested; Beth was.
But since we’re past the point of meaning to this debate, I’m with Gozu Tashoya – there should be date storytelling, and it should be good. If necessary, high-speed car chases, running gun battles, and/or random explosions may added in as necessary. And perhaps, kittens. (for those posters with longer attention spans than required by action movies)
So I’m home from the date, and it did not go disasterously except that it leaves me wondering whether I have spelled “disasterously” correct earlier in this sentence. I will post more later; now I think I shall go to sleep.
What Enderw24 said. Beth starts talking about you wanting to get into their pants, talks about “tutoring” you in asking women out, gives you her number and tells you to call her, and you’re confused about what that means? Maybe Elly just laughed nervously, not wanting to try to outgun this 19-year-old coworker who’s obviously got you entranced with her patter and looks, and also risk causing one hell of an uncomfortable working environment over some guy who shows up now and then and talks about books in a charming fashion… but gets distracted by a teenage hottie in under a minute of chat. Maybe she figured you “obviously” weren’t serious in your intent.
I would’ve said go with Count Blucher’s advice about talking to Elly, but that’s water under the bridge now.
I said I was paraphrasing multiple responses in this thread. It didn’t occur to me that anyone would think that I meant I was paraphrasing all the responses in this thread, cause that would obviously be quite silly.
So, skald, what’s up next? Another date? We need more details, man!
Considering that you are posting at 2:31am, I think saying that it did not go disastrously (yes, there is no “e” in “disastrously”) is likely to be an understatement of colossal proportions. Of course, since you are from the South, as am I, I wouldn’t expect any more details from you than, “we had a lovely time,” if things happened which you would not care to relate to Beth’s mother…so, be sure to give exacting details of your evening, or all of us readers will surely presume that you have “tagged” the hapless young Beth.
He means to leave everyone with bated breath, and perhaps likes the attention of everyone asking how it went. That or maybe he was tired.
I don’t see why it has to be one or the other, especially after only a couple of dates (I know it’s just one date right now). I don’t know about the rest of you but I would not assume that there is an exclusive relationship after only one date. Especially not without consent from both parties involved. Take them both out, see which one you connect with, and whoever that one is start dating more. From there decide what route you want to take in regards to a real relationship. There’s a possibility that neither one of them will be a match in any meaningful way. Also, don’t lie about having gone out on a date with one or the other, be upfront about it if you are asked. If nothing else is too far out of the ordinary lying would be the only thing that could come back to bite you in the ass.
DianaG, I have often agreed with your opinions, if I recall correctly, so I am geniuniely curious as to why you feel it should not be done in this case? The whole point of dating is to find a suitable mate, is it not? Hopefully in that process you will get to meet people, make some new friends, and hopefully have a good time. Maybe if you feel one of the parties involved is not mature enough to recognize that fact (or there is something else that I have missed such as a history of romantic competition between them), then I could see where you are coming from. However, what is so bad about taking them both on dates and seeing what happens? Note that I am not saying lead anyone on, or lie about it, or continue to see them both for extended periods of time. I would just like to know why you have arrived to the conclusion you have.
It sounds like her mental-age is such that her physical age is irrelevant. In other words, if what you say is true she is not your average nineteen year old. She is clever beyond-her-years and above all she’s unique (Everyone’s unique but if you normalized everyone she’d still be unique). She seems like the kind of nineteen year old I (at 27) would love to know.
I don’t know anyone who’s mature enough to date the same person their co-worker is dating. In fact, I think the word for a person who *would * be okay with that isn’t so much “mature” as “Vulcan”.
Who wants to spend their day wondering whether the guy you went out with on Thursday had a better time on Friday with the girl in the next cube? Since you actually have to deal with each other all day every day, it introduces a level of competition that doesn’t exist otherwise. After all, even if you didn’t think the guy was that great, you still don’t want him to prefer her!
Yeah, we’d all like to think we’re above that sort of thing. We aren’t. Some of us are better able than others to hide it, but this isn’t about how it appears, it’s about how it feels. Who wants to feel that way?
Dating and mating aren’t logical processes. Even extrememly casual dating is a pretty emotionally fraught process when you start introducing variables like the ones we’re talking about here.
