Yanno, I’d just purely love to see a thread about an older lady Doper and her toyboy, and anyone dare to check in to tell her that she was stupid and pathetic and no self-respecting man her own age would want to know her afterwards. I always did like to watch a good shitstorm. Skald, m’boy, go for it. Two years from now she’ll have matured enough to know what she really wants and she’ll move on, leaving you nothing but the empty memories of two of the most fun years of your life. Sounds better than might-have-beens to me.
If you had some ham, the above opinion would get you some ham and eggs, if you had some eggs.
Anno domini is kinda unforgiving, featherlou. I have a picture at home that purports to represent me as a trim, fit-looking kinda guy a scant 30 years ago. It ill behooves me to rant about society’s refusal to consider my fat, middle-aged ass as hot as it was then. (Mind you, I wasn’t gettin’ any at all in those days.)
Skald, date whoever you want. I truly don’t care. Truth be told, I think a good many people in this thread just don’t care who you date whether it be the 19 year old or the 30+ year old.
But it sounds to me as if you like Elly more. It sounds as if you were interested in Elly, found a way to approach Elly and almost asked her out on a date. Then this 19 year old inserts herself into the scene, pays you some attention, and suddenly now you’re considering giving up on the 30 year old for the 19 year old. Why? Because Beth started randomly flirting with you and, as you mentioned in a later post, Elly’s “body language” told you she wasn’t interested in going out on a date.
Now, only you know what Elly’s body language really was. But Beth all but lept over the coffee table and rubbed her nubile 19 year old ass against your crotch to mark her territory and it took half a page online and a two phone conversations with Beth to figure out what was clear to everyone else and then you tell us you’re a master interpreter of the subtle art of body language from mid 30 year olds? Perhaps, just perhaps, you’re mistaken? Perhaps you misread Elly and she’s still quite interested? You know…the woman you originally wanted to ask out?
So ask Elly or ask Beth. Again, really, I don’t care which you choose. But I can GUARANTEE you, Elly won’t be available if (and when) you and Beth break up. Sooooo…perhaps you want to at least ask Elly point blank if she wants to go out sometime? Just to see?
Yes, I know, that’s why it was so silly when someone mentioned the benefits of sex w/ an older person.
That is is an absolutely ridiculous use of equivocation; the statement that reflects more about your attitude than the actual situation as described.
Specifically what dues has she paid? She’s chatted with some guy who comes into the library…OMFG! She’s a fucking hero! She’s been through hell for Skald, and by going out with Beth he’s committing adultry! Quick, get a scarlet ‘A’ to sew to his shirt! And Beth is a homewrecker! Cats and dogs sleeping together…! :rolleyes:
Gosh, that’s so perceptive of you—I didn’t realize that Leviosaurus’s grandmother wanted older met to tap young, hot booty! But now, I have some perspective on this statement:
Let’s revisit the OP for a moment:
Yeah, Elly is obviously the apotheosis of maturity. :rolleyes:
Look, Skald, based on the reactions, people have already got you as-good-as-married to Elly, like your life is some romantic comedy. You’ve talked books with this Beth girl, you apparently like her personality well enough, and she’s essentially asked you out.
So, guess what, this ain’t some stupid fucking sitcom or lame-ass show like Sex and the City, so don’t let people play with your life as if it were. Think about what Leviosaurus’s grandmother had to say; her grandchild is a Doper, so she can’t be too stupid. You’re not getting a tatoo, adopting a child, or discharging a firearm in city limits; you’re not driving drunk, sucker punching a cop, or joining Al Qaeda; and you’re sure as shit not committing adultry against Elly by going on a date with Beth.
And, here’s the bonus, if you do like her but you’re still uncomfortable with the age thing, you can still just be friends.
Skald, you are asking the wrong people. Turn off your computer. See Elly privately at lunch and tell you you have a problem and you need a friend’s advice.
Tell her that Beth gave you her number and remind her that you’re 37 and Beth seems too young for you. Then tell her that this isn’t the main reason its an issue though. Look her in the eye and tell her that you know that if you ever call that number that you will have lost any chance at ever asking Elly out.
Then wait. Don’t make a sound…let her digest that and then let her speak first.
If she says “I think you should call Beth”, then you know where you stand, and you should let it go. And if Beth will still have you, call her.
If she says anything else, talk to her, keep the conversation going and get the words out of your mouth to ask her out, no matter what it takes.
(And don’t name any of your kids ‘Blucher’; its cruel and hurtful.)
This bears repeating. I’m a happily married 35yo man, but I’ve been approached by women in clubs (my wife doesn’t do Goth, and I don’t wear a ring) as young as 18. Were I single, I wouldn’t quibble about age, only compatability
Hell, Beth sounds just my type. Women who know who Cthulhu is, are keepers for sure.
Why, because she giggled? Beth inserted herself into someone else’s conversation and made an over the top remark and Elly’s the immature one? For all we know, that’s how Elly handles embarrassment…by laughing.
Look, Skald. Do what you want. You will anyway. But you asked the question and we answered, so you’re the one who has to live with the decision.
No shit. I think Khangol is dead on. Beth probably has a lower chance to lead to a successful long term relationship and Skald is risking a shot at Elly. But if he’s OK with that, then he should go for it.
I think everyone is missing a main point here. Todays young adults are quite open to all of lifes experiences. Maybe Beth is bisexual and will lead you to Elly…
Problem solved…
Maybe it was just in abeyance, awaiting my update, which shall come tomorrow; the date’s in an hour. If it goes disasterously or amusingly, I’ll share the details. Fair?
I’m not as smart as you, so you’ll have to explain what was wrong with my comment before I can defend it.
She’s paid her dues in the dating world, in general. It’s not about Skald, per se: it’s about her being, as others pointed out, cockblocked by Beth. She’s older than Beth and has probably experienced more heartbreak, so why should she be rejected again? As I said earlier, let Beth add a rejection to the experiences she’s so eager to accumulate. No, Skald is not “as good as married to Elly”, but if he was interested to begin with, he should still be, regardless of how many literary references Beth drops, or how rude she is.
You’re not getting a tatoo, adopting a child, or discharging a firearm in city limits; you’re not driving drunk, sucker punching a cop, or joining Al Qaeda; and you’re sure as shit not committing adultry against Elly by going on a date with Beth.