It’s a Racearoundtheworld! Huzzah!
Taxi Assessment
Stuck in the Desert and Officially Detained - or, Philiminated with extreme prejudice.
Anita and Arthur - Well, here’s a twist: the slow, non-racing oldsters get knocked out in the very first leg. At least we won’t have to hear, episode after episode, that experience can triumph over speed, and how Amazing it is that a team of senior citizens can keep up with people half their age, blah blah blah. On the downside, I was looking forward to hearing pithy anecdotes on how racing aroundtheworld is just like beekeeping. And, alas! they would have rocked the “bang the wasp’s nest with a stick” Roadblock coming up in Nowheristan.
Flat Tire - or, not likely to get anywhere soon.
Marisa and Brooke - The next team likely to be sacrificed to the gods of TAR. They’re polite, wear pink, and can’t race for crap. Boo, hiss.
Anthony and Stephanie - This team is kind of a nonentity at this point. They’re presumably supposed to be headstrong and bickering (because…why else would they be cast in TAR?), but we haven’t seen much from them yet. I’m uncertain whether their poor showing is due to bad luck or poor racing, but I imagine we’ll find out next week.
Stopping for Gas - or, not broken-down, exactly, but not a good sign.
Aja and Ty - Ty has a degree from Michigan and lives in the D, so clearly he’s witty, urbane, and twice as intelligent as the rest of [del]you[/del] the contestants. But…it looks like Aja just can’t move very fast, which, in hy humble opinion, will likely handicap this team if they ever had to RACE anywhere. They lucked into the first flight, but dropped steadily back in the pack to finish uncomfortably near last.
Andrew and Dan - I thought at first that this team made a mistake picking thier Detour option, but now I’m not so sure. They still finished ahead of Aja & Ty (although maybe that’s no large feat), also a 9:30 team, so perhaps avoiding the logjam at the cargo net was a good idea. However, if you’re asked a “mystery question” after climbing a set of stairs on your knees, what is the most obvious question you could be asked? It took me literally three seconds to figure this one out. Still, Andrew & Dan are showing some flashes of racing skill, so they might move up later.
"Rapido! Por Favor?" - or, making meaningless ineffectual comments from the back seat, but in no immediate danger.
Toni and Dallas - Wow, this team, despite leaving wound up beating two of the three 9:30 teams. That shows enough drive that I’m willing to overlook the circumstances that led to them being a 9:45 team. Mom doesn’t look so athletic, which might hurt this team in the future, but Dallas’s manly jaw and ability to make cheerleaders swoon might make up for it.
Kelly and Christy - AAAAUGH! Being divorced does NOT prepare you for a racearoundtheworld. Otherwise half the adult population of the US would be winning the Race, and I don’t see that happening. Seriously, whence this concept that some random life experience qualifies you to excel at something completely unrelated? “I used to eat Cheerios as a toddler, and the oaty taste means that I should play first chair flute at the New York Philharmonic.” WTF?
Mark and Bill - I sense the “gamers” here might actually be quite clever. Note they were the first team to NOT mill like slaughterhouse cattle at the airline chute, taking off to find the right check-in desk. They also had a smart solution to prevent the candy from falling off their adorable little choo-choo. Geeky for sure, but this team has potential.
In the Passing Lane - or, ahead of the pack, but not quite comfortably.
Terence and Sarah - Good God, what is up with this team? Between Terence’s whiny needfulness and Sarah’s abrasive bitchiness, they’re really cringeworthy. I dub thee: Team Panties-Too-Tight. Unfortunately, it looks like we’ll see a lot of this team, because, while they make minor mistakes, they also recover quickly and did end up in third.
Ken and Tina - Ugh. If we have to hear twenty references to Ken cheating on Tina every single episode I’m gonna scream. Why oh why do teams think they can “work out personal issues” by participating in a high-stress race? (Don’t answer that.) A generally solid run this week, but I can easily see this team melting down into a pile of screaming goo.
Nick and Starr - Hum. I was prepared to not really like a cheerleader named “Starr,” but this team looks like it works well together and races hard, despite the nonsense about forming an alliance and so forth. And good thinking under stress: don’t jump into a taxi before you know that you need to. That was the difference, this week, between first and second place. If that’s the case on the last leg, this team is in good shape.
Cruisin’ with Earl - or, drivin’ on the shoulder, takin’ shortcuts, and generally kickin’ butt.
Clearly no one.
Next week: Sarah is bitchy! I suspect we’ll be seeing a lot as the season progresses.
[sub]Props to Mullinator and his Raj Ratings.[/sub]