I’m back! Tell me you missed me! Because, this season, it’s all about me, right? Right?
Anyway, this week we’re treated to a valiant attempt by the Amazing Editors to liven up what was obviously Ty & Aja’s swan song, but to no avail (Hint: when the background is cloudy for one team and sunny for the rest, you can safely expect a Valiant Editing Attempt). The biggest suspense was whether or not this would be a non-elim. It wasn’t, and now there are six.
Stuck in the Desert and Officially Detained - or, Philiminated with extreme prejudice.
Anita and Arthur - Keeping bees.
Anthony and Stephanie - Not getting married. Bummer.
Mark and Bill (bonus coverage of ep 3 losers) - Ooooo. Painful, painful lesson. What did I say in week two’s recap? Lessee… here it is. “TAR rule number 2: ‘READ THE FUCKING CLUE. Then reread it. AND REMEMBER IT.’” As I’m sure Mark & Bill tell each other every time they fire up their Amiga emulator in the Sequesterville game room. Live by the cerebellum, die by the cerebellum, doodz.
Marisa and Brooke (bonus coverage of ep 4 losers) - They were clearly the weakest team, and I’m surprised they performed as well as they did in the third episode. Still…how the Hell did they arrive so damn late to the mat? Something Amazing happens on every leg, I tell you.
Aja and Ty (down from “Rapido!”) - They were really killed by their poor performance last week (they finished two hours behind? sheesh), along with Andrew & Dan’s unexpected good fortune in slipping onto the earlier flight. Some episodes have bunching points where you can make up major time, some don’t. This one didn’t, and there wasn’t much Aja & Ty could have done to even things out. In any case, they were a middle-of-the-pack type team, and now is about when those teams get weeded out. So long, Aja & Ty.
Flat Tire - or, not likely to get anywhere soon.
Andrew and Dan (holding steady) - The worst team left. They have, in fact, finished in the bottom three teams for four weeks running. They’re showing flashes of aptitude (getting on the earlier flight) surrounded by a sea of indifferent racing and pure bumbling (Can’t turn a crank on a hand pump? Need a fancy prep-school edimucation to have heard of Cambodia? Sheesh.). Granted, the point of these legs is simply “do not finish last,” and Andrew & Dan have met that goal admirably so far. However, “try not to bumble about as badly as the competition” is not a winning strategy, and I expect this team to crash and burn right…about…(one week pause)…NOW.
Stopping for Gas - or, not broken-down, exactly, but not a good sign.
Kelly and Christy (holding steady) - Apparently this team has decided that “being bitchy,” combined with “inept clue reading,” is a winning combination. A novel approach, to be sure, but one that’s unlikely to be ultimately successful. And, quick comment: I love how they’re so proud of their “strategy,” which is “get to the airport quickly, find the first ticket counter, and get on the first flight.” First of all, that’s not exactly a “strategy,” that’s more of a “goal.” Hey, my strategy for winning the Amazing Race? Go out there, race faster, and get to the mat first! Can’t lose following that! I’m a regular Rommel, I am!
"Rapido! Por Favor?" - or, making meaningless ineffectual comments from the back seat, but in no immediate danger.
Toni and Dallas (holding steady) - In the long run, I’m still a bit worried about Mom’s stamina. However, they’ve been holding their own so far, and are much less likely to do something spazztically stupid than, say, Terence & Sarah. A dark horse condidate for the final three.
In the Passing Lane - or, ahead of the pack, but not quite comfortably.
Terence and Sarah (holding steady) - Wow. Sometimes being a spazz is a positive strategy. Whod’a thunk? Good work by Terence in pushing their boat to the dock using pure spazz power. This team has been doing surprisingly well, considering their sketchy intra-team dynamics. Let’s see if it lasts.
Nick and Starr (holding steady) - A comeback into a first place finish. Nick is finally showing that he’s worth something–note he immediately grabbed a local guide in Ankgor Wat, rather than randomly wandering around. I have an idea that this team is the least likely to implode (at least of the top three), due to their brother-sister dynamics.
Cruisin’ with Earl - or, drivin’ on the shoulder, takin’ shortcuts, and generally kickin’ butt.
Ken and Tina (holding steady) - A fourth-place finish this week, but only after a string of firsts. They’re running a largely mistake-free Race, and even Tina’s minor ineptitude isn’t a huge setback, not at this point. This is clearly the team to beat.
Next week: Ken snaps! Betcha he cheats…on Tina! Ha!
[sub]Props to Mullinator and his Raj Ratings.[/sub]