As I was riding the bus home from work this morning, I was seated in front of a handicapped female. I’m not sure what exactly her handicap was, but I would venture to she may be autistic. I can’t really describe the silent emotional response that overcame me.
As she sat there, she was doodling on a small note pad and mumbling to herself. I couldn’t understand what she was saying, if anything. As I observed her, I was overcome with the realization that she seemed very beautiful, in a “spiritual” sense. She was very plain & ordinary looking, and you’d never know she was handicapped unless you watched and listened to her, up closely. despite her “plain Jane” appearance, she looked beautiful to me, physically to me as well.
I didn’t feel anything for her other than this overwhelming sense of beauty she exuded. I don’t really understand it. I just felt like hugging her, tightly and lengthy, even though I couldn’t literally do so. I watched her doodle silly little flowers and stick people and geometric shapes, then she started writing a note, to whom I do not I know. The note said, “Sweetheart, I love you so much I want to be with you…” that’s all I got to read, but it only confirmed this intense, heavenly sense of warmth and peace she exuded.
I had a grueling 9 hrs of work, last night. Seeing this person on the way home, made me forget it all, for about ten minutes, my heart was smiling the biggest that I have felt in years. Thank you handicapped woman, whoever you are, for unwittingly sharing with me, the beauty you bring to life.
I think I know how you felt. When I was a kid, there was a mildly retarded (it was okay to call it that once…I mean no harm by it) girl in my class. She was a big girl–tall, and big for her size–and consequently everybody was either afraid of her or hateful towards her.
She was like sunshine. No, not a beautiful girl. Not graceful. Not possessing, really, any of those attractive qualities so important to people. But my memories of her were of light and laughter and an innocence I have never seen since.
I often found myself feeling the exact way you did. Not protective…but almost as if that special something about her was an elixer I desperately needed. No. There was nothing sexual about how I felt–it was a simple recognition of a pure spirit. She was my friend.
I had the blessing of being there for her when people were not kind–of knowing that I could see something in her that others couldn’t because they didn’t take the time. I’ve NEVER forgotten her. Probably one of the best people I’ve ever met.
You know, throughout our lives, I really believe that people come into them sometimes when we need them and for only as long as we need them.
I could give several personal examples, but I will not, and instead just submit that this happened for a reason…
Yer pal,
Satan
I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
Three months, two weeks, three days, 13 hours, 4 minutes and 54 seconds.
4341 cigarettes not smoked, saving $542.72.
Life saved: 2 weeks, 1 day, 1 hour, 45 minutes.
