American Idol 1/16

Cafe Society
101

I think it’s pretty evident that virtually everyone knows what to expect at auditions. I think people who are truly talented probably have other venues they’ve sought out to get a break in the business. Which leaves those who are truly diamonds in the rough, the decent bar band/hotel lounge singer types, kids too young to strike out on their own, famewhores, and the delusional.

I imagine anyone who’s moving up the ladder in entertainment has management, and contractual ties that probably make AI out of reach for most of them. So I think a lot of the really good undiscovered talent is spoken for in other outlets.

Diamonds in the rough are probably working jobs to get by, or singing at home to friends and family. For whatever reason, they haven’t pushed the envelope as far as getting noticed. So AI would be a good chance for them to chase a dream.

The semiprofessionals obviously want to better their station, so just being seen on AI makes it possible for them to claim “As seen on American Idol!” on their marketing materials.

The famewhores want to be known for any number of reasons. Some probably are professional entertainers (wedding singers, comics, etc.) and figure there’s good material to be had by auditioning, hamming it up, getting some precious moments of airtime so they too can say, “As seen on American Idol.”

Which leads to the last group - the deluded. They really think they have talent and have been enabled by family and friends who don’t want to hurt their feelings. I think this group is legitimately small and these are the folks I feel sorry for. But they’re few in number.

Both my wife and I have been on TV before - she as a reporter, me as a game show contestant and talking head. I can go my whole life without being on TV again, but for some people being on TV is some sort of life accomplishment. These are the people who walk into frame during news reporter standups and wave. I suppose it’s better that they appear on AI than do any number of stupid activities to get a TV camera on them.

AI is guilty of enabling famewhores as well. Every braying jackass that gets airtime encourages fifty nascent jackasses to say, “Hey, I’m as pretty/ugly/talentless/weird as those guys… let me get on that show!” I thought there was way too much of that last night. But that’s probably because of who comes to audition. If you’re solid but not spectacular you probably sing in front of some 19 Entertainment minions and get sent home. If, and only if, you are truly horrible (or great) will you move on to SiPauRandy. Famewhores are easy to spot because of their schtick, costumes, or posters they bring along. There’s a degree of professionalism about the real contestants that probably makes for dull TV so we don’t see the ones that move on to Hollywood.

102

That I agree with – if she’s that stoned/buzzed/whatever, she shouldn’t put herself into public scrutiny. She’s old enough to know better.

I’ve never gone down the addiction path except for nicotine. Narcotic painkillers – Tylenol $3, Percocet, etc. – put me down for the count. Oh, if I HAVE to, I can try to sit up and act sort of “normal”, but anyone looking at me will instantly know I’m on something. My eyes eerily cross like Paula’s did :eek:

George Michael didn’t surprise me, btw. I always had the inkling he was gay. But that’s for another thread :wink:

103

Plus, wouldn’t her handlers or someone who loves her tell her she’s making a fool of herself on national television (and now Youtube), repeatedly.

Actually, I meant his current (reported) drug abuse.

104

Belting is one thing, but you’re talking more about control, and that really does matter. Half of belting is simply breath support, and you cannot advance without that.

I’d argue that having a strong, well-supported, tonic voice does (or at least can, as singers in practice also need stage presence, humility and all that jazz) make a singer.

105

Why should she be any different than the delusional singers who’s people reassure them constantly? I can just see Pauler reading tons of snarky things about herself on the internet and asking her closest friends if it’s true and them denying it and stroking her.

Which is perhaps why she was chosen as the token nice judge, since she has so much in common with the contestants she’s hesitant to throw stones.

106

That’s a good point, but I would hope that drug abuse is in a whole different category than bad singing.

But yes, her friends and other assorted “people” are probably too afraid to say anything for fear of being fired or thrown out of her inner circle. It’s a shame, really.

If she does have a disease like Parkinsons (which is being rumored) or something where the medication is causing her to behave like this, I would rather get the sympathy for having a disease than have the public think I’m a drug addled mess.

If Jewel weren’t already hosting Nashville Star, she would be a good fit if Paula were to quit while she’s treated for “exhaustion”. She was more honest than Paula while not being mean like Simon or Randy.

107

Tonight is the next show, not next week, right? I get all confused.

108

I usually skip the audition part because I, too, get uncomfortable watching people humiliate themselves. I tuned in late and only caught the last half hour or so but was surprised that Simon was so subdued with his criticism. He even acted gentlemanly at times.

Randy, on the other hand, must have taken his asshole pill. Humiliating the vocal coach was so not necessary. The only thing I can figure is that the guy was a lot more combative than was shown and he decided to put him in his place. However, I didn’t appreciate when the judges on “So You Think You Can Dance” humiliated the participants with lines like, “You should refund your students’ money.” etc. and I don’t like it here either. I think they get caught up with trying to create drama where there is none that they set these people up to be the butt of jokes.

Jewel was very pleasant. I see no evidence of plastic surgery and would be very surprised if she did because she’s such a granola girl. I think she’s the only one of the judges who actually can sing well, no? I know Jackson played in Journey for a bit but I don’t think he’s a singer. Paula doesn’t count because her hits were the result of some tragic cosmic misalignment.

109

You’re too young to remember The Gong Show, aren’t you?

110

Yes, there’s another two-hour show on tonight. 7-9 p.m. in my world (central time).

111

While this is true for part of this group, there are also the deluded who are told by family and friends that they are the best singers they know because the F & F’s wouldn’t know talent if it came up and caterwauled in their ear.

Then there’s the third group: Those who are told by loved ones that they are the best singer any of them knows, because, bad as they sound, <shudder> they ARE.

112

No, you’re right. Tonight is not next week. […ugh! semantical jokes…]

113

Yeah, I know it’s television and ratings and all that, but why turn the auditions into a lousy version of The Gong Show? AI degrades itself when they pander to such drivel.

Also, I noticed last year I pattern that is starting again - Are Paula and Randy playing the race card with some black performers? Their favoritism doesn’t looked to be based on real potential talent or audition mockery (see above). Or am I off base here?

114

I’ve never gotten the impression that race made any difference at all to Paula and Randy (or Simon either). If there’s any bias at all, it’s towards looks, especially for Simon.

115

I’m beginning to think that tone-deafness may run in families. The deluded auditioner may be getting lots of bad feedback from his equally tone-deaf family.

(And if anything, I’m too old to remember the Gong Show. But I think those contestants didn’t harbor any delusions that they were great; they just hoped to be entertaining.)

116

I agree. I think the judges really do react as most of us would — approvingly toward the good talent, and disapprovingly toward the bad. I’ve heard Randy give high praise to white singers and Simon give high praise to black singers. And Randy doesn’t hesitate to tell black pretenders that they have no talent. Even setting aside all social considerations, the financial implications alone compel as unbiased an appraisal as possible. They want the person they believe will sell the most records. Black or white could be involved in that process somehow, in the sense that they might want whichever wins to be culturally compatible or derivative. But not in the sense that they would hold up a dime with a nickel just because the dime was black and the nickel was white.

117

Gads, someone call security. This girl is horrible and won’t shut up.

118

There was something. . . wrong. . . with The Hotness’s face. I can’t quite grasp it.

119

The warts on the chin, the smooshed shape, the sausage lips, the giant nose, . . . .

By the way, did they lock the left door in TWO DIFFERENT CITIES?

120

Not that I’m any great shakes myself, but … if she was The Hotness, then I hope we never have to see The Notness. (Bitchy, yes, but you know it’s true.)