Per Seacrest, it is disco. Christ on a bike … it’s bad enough that Scott Savol hates us, but must the producers be so contemptuous, too? Oh, Díos mío! Anycrap, here are a few suggestions I have for the performers:
Carrie - “If I Can’t Have You” (Yvonne Elliman) - I don’t like Carrie, and personally I more than halfway hope she tanks, but this is a song she could do really well. Plus, some people my age might know that Yvonne Elliman was the original Mary Magdalene in “Jesus Christ Superstar,” so that might help sex up her image a little bit. Just a very little, though.
Constantine - “I Was Made For Dancing” (Leif Garrett) - I can’t think of a better set up than this one. If this song doesn’t get clearance, than I am going to hope for “Waterloo” (ABBA), because that? Would be too awesome for words.
Vonzell - “Don’t Leave Me This Way” (Thelma Houston) - Vonzell can do it. Go for it, Vonzell! I would like her to sing one of the disco diva songs, but I think “I Will Survive” is overdone. Thelma Houston is seriously underrated, and Vonzell can totally pull it off.
As for everyone else … eh. Whatever. Go away. Except Bo, for whom I feel awful. It’s going to be a tough night for him.
As I have professed my love on other weeks’ threads, it goes without saying, but Carrie’s image does not need any further sexing up. She’s already there. Mmmm…
Yes, but that song is terrible (and I like KISS). Bo could do a good job with it, of course, but it’s just complete dreck, and I would hate for him to be stuck with that. I can’t really think of what else he would pick to sing. KC & the Sunshine Band might be OK, but the songs aren’t really vocally challenging, or even vocally interesting (disco is definitely a genre for the backing band, more so than the singers). Anything by the Bee Gees is right out, I think, because a lot of that stuff is too high. As a wedding singer, he’s probably opposed to “Celebration” on principle (as we all should be, really). Doesn’t leave much else, except songs by girls and “Disco Duck.” And really, do we want to live in the kind of world where someone as foine as Bo Bice is reducing to singing “Disco Duck”?
Disco is slightly different.
Vonzelle can still sing Got To Be Real. Wouldn’t it be funny to see Carrie sing Lady Marmalade? Bo can do Queen’s Another One Bites The Dust and Connie will do great doing any Leo Sayer song.
If you remember Leo Sayer, you are no longer a spring chicken!
Please! Bo is an artiste, not just some wedding sin … guh … oh. Um. Yeah. Actually, this would be great! But I was thinking maybe he’ll punk out and do some Commodores.
Oh, just so we’re clear. I meant “rockin”, sarcastically, of course. I wouldn’t want anyone to picture me listening to it with my larger-than-life headphones on, dancing in my bedroom, while wearing my Wonder Woman Underroos in 1980. Oh, crap…
Horrifyingly, it appears as though you will not be getting your wish.
ET is reporting that Carrie will actually be performing that atrocity. Other performances are supposedly, Constantine singing “Nights on Broadway” by the Bee Gees and Anwar singing “September” by Earth Wind and Fire.
You guys are going to have to forgive me tonight…it’s going to difficult for me to figure out what these songs are. Disco…pardon me…“dance music” 70s is not a style of music I enjoy.
How 'bout we see just ONE principled refusal to perform? That person has my vote tonight. Actually, no they don’t, because I’m sitting it out. I still get to exercise a principled refusal to watch.
[spoiler]Scott: Everlasting Love
Connie: Nights On Broadway
Anwar: September
Bo: Vehicle
Carrie: Macarthur Park
Vonzel: I’m Every Woman
A-Fed: Don’t Take Away the Music
(I like “Vehicle” for Bo’s voice. Not a bad choice if he absolutely has to do disco)[/spoiler]
Are you me? I had Wonder Woman Underroos, too! I wore them on gym days, because nobody ever wanted to pick me for dodgeball. What?
Aaaaaaargh! My eyes! The goggles, they do nothing! See? Do you SEE why I hate her? She is HELLSPAWN. She is the EVIL UNDEAD! No person with a soul would voluntarily sing that song. HAAAAAAAAAAAAATE! And I don’t think I can take it! 'Cause it took so long to make it! And I’ll never have that recipe agaaaaaaaaaaaaaain! Ooooooooooooooh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
