American Pie.. or how to fry your private parts

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Everybody who signed up with Joke A Day will already know this, anyway it is so hillarious I thought I had to post it:

…
Actual news clipping: A teenager who tried to copy a scene
from the hit file ‘American Pie’ by shagging an apple pie was
rushed to the hospital with serious burns to his penis.

Dwight Emburger, 17, couldn’t wait for the tasty pastry to cool
down and after he slid in his pecker he was badly scalded by
the hot filling.

A hospital spokesman in Boise, Idaho, said: “This
demonstrates that producers should consider the effect their
films have on young and impressionable people.”

I think the hospital spokesman should have been more worried
about horny young idiots, than about impressionable young
people.
…

Well… I dont have to add anything to this… I think…

:slight_smile:

b dodgy

2

I think I am uniquely qualified to testify that there is nothing amusing at all about having a burned penis.

That is all. :slight_smile:

3

That may be true. There is, however, something hilarious about some one else having a burned penis.

BTW, unless you were the guy in the story, you’re not uniquely qualified… :wink:

4

Uniquely qualified amongst us, that is :smiley:

5

Does this remind anyone else of the joke ending “please don’t ask how he makes donuts”?

6

I wonder if he would have been spared some pain if he had used a condom? :smiley:

7

Forget that, I’d be more interested to know HOW MANY donuts he can carry at one time, not using his hands of course.:rolleyes:

8

Ummm…so we won’t bring up the hot-curling-iron-on-the-sink, “what is this on my forehead, I need to lean over to the mirror” incident?

Let’s just say that, although it wasn’t curled, it didn’t get straight for a week or so either.

9

Coming this fall, Dennis Leary is a pervert waiter with hilarious results in…Boston Cream

10

Besides all this nonsense, American Pie got it all wrong anyway. Warm apple pie feels nothing like having sex.
It’s blueberry pie, damnit, blueberry.

Or so I’ve heard.

11

I really don’t want to know how you know that…

12

I would just like to add.

Nobody does it like Sara Lee.

13

Actually, I like to wait until the middle of November and find some Jack-O-Lanterns (uhuhuh…I said “jack”) that have been sitting in the sun. The combination of warm, spoiled pumkin innards and the swarm of fruit flys sents me into a tizzy. Forget apple pie, forget blueberry pie, overripe rotting pumpkins are where it’s AT.

14

see, even just thinking about made me forget how to spell “flies”

15

personally it just gave me the picture of you thrusting so hard that you made swarms of fruit fly out.

16

Not quite so uniquely qualified as I wish you were, no offense. I’ll just say “washing big pots” and “200 degree sanitation sink”, and you can fill in the blanks. The really bad part though, is that dignity prevented a workman’s comp claim.

Note to the ladies: This all took place long ago. I’m feeling much better now. And I have a real job.

17

Right now, everyone who listens to Imus in the morning is thinking about his parodies of Wilford Bremley’s oatmeal commercials. Particularly the Thanksgiving one when he tells you a unique way to stuff the turkey with oatmeal.

18

Probably would have been more painful . . . think about a condom melting.

19

Heh. I dare you to ask ChiefScott his opinion on nude bacon-frying. :smiley:

20

You are just soooo evil, BornD–and it’s what we particularly admire about you!

Sad to say, human compassion got swamped in hysterical laughter reading the news bit. But c’mon, a guy gets his privates a-twitter and crams it into a hot apple pie?!

–>roars, snickers, snorts, hoots, honks, rolls on floor in rib-clutching, tears-down-the-face lethal laughter<–

Of course the deeply sympathetic folk here treated this tragedy with their customary reverence.

{Veb succumbs to hysteria, remembering: Sara Lee; “nuthin’ says lovin’ like somethin’ from the oven”…)

It’s Darwinism for the “aughts”: collectively do we encourage reproduction by someone who stuffs their genitals into oven-hot baked goods?

Still snickering,
Veb