I’m going to a wedding in the US later this year. Traditions seem to be a little different from what I’m used to so I have a couple of questions:
Gifts. The couple in question are registered with a couple of places. However I’m part of the wedding party. Do bridesmaids/groomsmen do anything different from regular guests? Like give special presents or anything?
The rehearsal dinner. I’m not really sure what this is. Is it just a normal dinner with all the guests the day before? Are there speeches? What is the dress code normally for these?
As regards giving a gift, you do what you would do anyway. You can hope to receive a (modest) gift to thank you for your service in the wedding party.
The rehearsal dinner is a dinner after the rehearsal of the ceremony for those who took part in the rehearsal. It’s usually a relaxed affair, and dress is informal; if that’s not going to be the case you should be told. The host - commonly the groom’s father - may make a short speech.
Sometimes wedding parties go in together and get an additional gift, but that’s not expected. ETA: Wedding party often chip in together to pay for the bachelor/bachelorette party.
Rehearsal dinners are often effectively a way to entertain closest family and friends who have come into town for the wedding the next day. For a big wedding, it’s often an important opportunity for the bride and groom to see their nearest and dearest before the chaos of the next day starts. I find the dress really varies, and I’d ask.
I wouldn’t call the rehearsal dinner “informal” exactly - I’d say no jeans, probably (unless, of course, you are told otherwise.) I don’t think I’ve ever been to one where a polo shirt and khakis would be inappropriate for a man. It’s usually a somewhat nice affair, including everybody in the wedding party and usually any out of town guests.
Members of the wedding party gift just like everyone else, although once you’re done paying for all the things you have to pay for (dress/tux, your share of any parties, travel, etc) you may not have much left for a gift! You will probably receive some oddment for your participation - in my experience men get flasks with liquor in them, women get something stupid.
Current groom here. I’m not expecting my groomsmen to get me anything. They’re paying for the tux rentals, driving out to see me, and throwing me the bachelor party. They’ve done enough.
The day before the wedding, you have the ceremony rehearsal. You basically walk through what you’re going to do the next day. After that, you have a nice dinner. It’s usually fancy food but semi-casual dress. Wear pants-other-than-jeans and expect to eat well. It’s only for people in the wedding ceremony, so the attendees are very close friends and relatives of the couple.
I am surprised that no one has asked where this wedding is taking place. I have found that traditions vary so much around the country that what is “correct” in the South would seem odd in the Northeast. So I’ll ask. Where is this wedding taking place?
There’s a little part of me that wants to recommend watching Meet the Parents. Yes, the comedy in it is very exaggerated, but the circumstances around the wedding in the movie are pretty accurate. And it’ll show you what not to do!
