There is a guy that runs an ad in our local crappy newspaper. His name is Cooley Pope. He is a residental painter. His company name is Cooley’s Painting.
I’ve always thought that he was missing the “stick in your mind” advertizing. He could really catch eyes with,
“Pope Paintings, We answer to the Big Guy, but do residental jobs.”
No Wait!
“Pope Painting, We cover your sins…”
Yeah…
We used to have a salon called “My Son, the Hairdresser.” Sadly, it was sold and renamed “Your Friend the Hairdresser.” I’ve never been back, because I think a sense of humor is essential in a hairdresser.
I live right outside of Raleigh, NC. There are all sorts of cutsie names around here.
There is actually a chicken place here called 'Em-R-Wings!
In Ocala, FL there used to be a Chinese restaurant named:
**Fu King Restaurant **
Some nice, obliging individual played Vanna White one evening and guessed the appropriate consonent… Needless to say, they “Changed Ownership” and their name in short order…
O
vidi vici veni!
Two from my grad school days in Columbia MO:
Dick Head Motors
Liquor, Guns, and Ammo
In Arlington, VA there’s a “U Like Chinese Food”. Something about that name is oddly compelling.
In Cleveland, there’s “Clunkers & Junkers Rent-a-heap (very cheap!)”.
Furniture store in Milpitas, CA with modern/contemporary goods, called ‘Ulferts’, pronounced and nicknamed ‘Old Farts’
Some names I remember:
Mangle Motors–Selinsgrove, PA
Big Bone Lick Rib Shack–Muncie, IN (whaddyu mean, you wanted meat on those ribs?)
Dave Fix My Bike–Toronto, Ontario (guess what they did?)
Pak Fook Chinese Restaurant–Oxford, UK
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There is an alumni of the college I work for whose name is Mr Yuk Foo. Old Rev. Spooner would have had a field day with him.
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In Des Moines, Iowa: The Flatt Tire Center. “Flatt” is the family’s name, you see.
Des Moines also boasts the chain Kum-N-Go, which is not spelled with a C, contrary to particlewill said. It would be funnier if it was, but it’s still pretty tacky.
There’s a sex-toy shop near my apartment called the Lickety Split. That phrase will never be the same again, to me.
On I-44, just outside of Lebanan, Mo, there is a billboard for “Munger Moss Motel”. I cringe whenever I see it.
In Port Aransas, TX, there is a engine repair shop (both boats and automotive) that goes by the name of the “Half-Fast Workshop” Motto, we’re not slow, we’re not fast, we’re half-fast. I know it is an old joke, but you have to have guts, and/or live in Port A to name your place thus.
Here in Missouri, there was a Chinese restaurant called “Loon Sheet” or something like that. I can’t remember exactly how they spelled the second word.
Also here in Columbia, there is a Bass Pro Shop with a big sign out front that says, in large letters “BEER, GUNS, and AMMO”. They sell t-shirts that say the same.
As I mentioned in the last incarnation of this thread, there is the ever popular Phuket Thai Restaurant in San Francisco.
That’s my late stepdad’s name! Weird, huh? In Seattle, there was a Coit dry-cleaners. No relation.
Seen on a garbage truck in Winooski, VT: “The Yum-yum Box.”
On septic tank cleaner: “Honey-Dipper.”
A boat dealer: “The Hole in the Water.”
My own attempt at business: “Step & A Half Transfer” (a big truck).
I remember a couple from my time in LA, which is where I first discovered Cecil, back in the olden days of the early 1980’s.
Uncle Jims Meat
Ad line said “You need no teeth to eat Unlce Jim’s Meat”
The there was a doctor, I kid you not, in Inglewood (I think) who was a gynecologist, named Dr. DeCuntio. Have a pic of that sign somewhere, was gonna send it to National Lampoon, when they were doing the signs page.
Here in S.D., we used to have a meat wholesaler named Tom’s Meat, who’s ad line was “You Can’t Beat Tom’s Meat” Lots of guys named Tom had their bumper stickers.
And, while not a business, a great product name - a Cat O’ Nine Tails, made out of licorice whips, called the “Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em”!
In Baltimore there’s a place called “Whiz Car Wash”, and appropriately enough the building is painted bright yellow.
In the mall around the corner from my house, there’s a Mexican restaurant called La Cucaracha. Yum!
(for the Spanish-challenged, that means The Cockroach)
Robin
tubagirl, how could you forget Lust Cash Registers (Mills Avenue!)
Leesburg has a place called the Big Bass Motel, and every so often, the second B will mysteriously ‘disappear’…You guessed it…
In Chapel Hill there used to be a Mexican restaurant called “Besa Mi Burro,” (with some extreme license in the translation: “Kiss My Ass”.) They were just barely allowed to keep the name.