An alligator ate my cat. . .

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

. . . and I watched the horror from inside the safety of my sliding glass door!

At first, this thing wasn’t even in sight. Apparently, it was under my deck the whole time I was putzing around the backyard. After awhile I decided I had to go to the bathroom, so I go inside and take care of business. On the way back out, I swing by the fridge and grab a soda. I notice a little bird lands out in the grass by the steps.

I turn my attention back to my soda, and turn around to head out the door. Something catches my eye. . . it’s a feather where the bird used to live. “Hrm, that’s weird. . .”

So, I go grab my shovel and head back to the garage. That’s when I get the first inkling something is really wrong. . . Why am I back in New Jersey? Oh well. I’m at home. Everything is kosher.

I drop my shovel back off in the garage, and head around to the back yard to the deck. I sit down on the deck, soda in hand, and faintly hear this growling–not a low human-based growl, but something deeper, more sinister.

“Aw damnit, we got raccoons under the deck again.”

Not being able to do anything about it right then and there, I stand back up and head towards the sliding glass door. As I step through it and close it, I notice my 13-year old cat ambling across the deck. She sits down and squeaks out an aged “meeeeep”. [sub]It’s an old cat, not the Roadrunner.[/sub]

All seems well for a second. Peaceful. For just one second. . .

In the flash of an eye, the deck beneath my cat opens up, and two huge looming jaws leap up and grab the back end of my cat. ‘Tiggy’ is screeching! The fear in her eyes! The desperation as she claws at the deck, trying to keep from being pulled down into the gaping hole beneath the deck to her death!

And just as soon as it happened, it was over. There is now a hole in my deck, and a burrowed out hole underneath it to the bowels of hell from whence this beast came. . .

And that’s when it struck me.

“Wait a minute. . . Alligators aren’t subterranean.”

“Wait a minute. . . Don’t I live in North Dakota? Aren’t alligators generally considered nonnative to New Jersey?”

Slowly, but surely, I come to my subconscious senses and figure something out. I don’t know what it was, but it made me open my eyes and look at the alarm clock next to my bed: 4:16 AM.

The moral of the story:
I am never eating taco pizza again before bed.

Tripler
I’m still wigged out over this. :eek:
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2

Make that, . . .the bird used to be.

Trip
But I guess it used to live there, if for only a second.

3

Let me guess: you read that “Alligator eats Kid” Pit thread before bed too, didn’t you?

4

I’ve been having lots of weird dreams lately. Several have involved girls that my daughter went thru middle school with - very odd. Last night I was in a boat with the admiral who had the mandatory meeting last week that I skipped out on. He was driving a motor yacht, but the front windows were covered so he couldn’t see where he was going (subtle, huh?) I uncovered the windows and saw that we were about to crash into a big ship, and I yelled at the admiral to back up (I think I yelled “Full reverse!!”) So we got out of the way of the ship, then we were sideswiping another vessel tied up at the dock. Then the admiral propositioned me, and I woke up.

I think I’d rather dream about alligators. And I didn’t eat or drink anything weird last night.

5

Please tell me you gave your cat some extra kibble and love this morning.

I ran across an alligator years ago, never forgotten it, and sometimes Mr Gator pops up in my dreams. That growl is something that stays with you.

6

Thank goodness! Around here, alligators ARE native and it could have happened!

I have nothing against alligators, as long as they stay the hell away from me and mine.

7

Don’t ever move to Florida. I read the thread title and thought, “Oh, gee, again? Didn’t I read something like this last week?”

::g::

8

Never never never move to Australia’s Northern Territory. We mean that. We have very very big salt water crocodiles. But they do not, of course, stick to salt water. They are the largest reptile in the world. They are aggressive. They can grow up to 7 metres in length - which is something like 23 feet.

9

Good Og!! How do you keep them out of your garden? landmines??

10

The truth? Well, the rule in Australia is simple:

Do not touch the wildlife

Everything here, or so it seems, will kill you.

Like to swim in the ocean? Try box jellyfish, sea snakes, sharks etc

Like the bush? Try a bunch of the worlds deadliest snakes.

Putting on those shoes? Check for funnelweb spiders first.

Never thought of landmines for crocs though. Nice idea, beats the giant pits we dig now… :wink:

11

I thought your saltwater crocs could grow to over 8 meters, I’ve heard up to 30 feet. (At least that’s what they told us at the zoo recently.) Not that I’m anxious to find out personally, mind you.

12

Saltwater crocodile information. The largest ever recorded was ~23 feet, though a ~33 footer was once reported, but uncomfirmed.

13

Well, we’ve got a 16-foot alligator at the zoo here, which is pretty darned huge; I can’t imagine facing a 23-footer, let alone a 33-footer! You Aussies just like to do things with style, don’t you?

Tripler, where on earth do you get taco pizza??

14

mmmmmm taco pizza.

15

Considering what it did to him, I think he probably summoned it through some gate to the Abyss.

16

Mama Tiger, there’s a great little pizza joint just down the street from me called NiteTrain pizza. The place is run by skeezy-lookin’ teenagers and hobos, but DAMN they’ve got good stuff. Gets good ratings in the papers, too.

You can get calzones, taco pizza, meat pizzas, “The Canadian Special”, “The Orient Express”, veggie pizzas, etc. Want a menu? Let me know. They’ve only got a delivery radius of 7 miles though. . .

Tripler
I’d kill for one right now, as a matter of fact.

17

In my dream the other night, I was going toe-to-toe with some really nasty gang-banger types. In the back office of a furniture store. What???