An epiphany about extroverts - I have been unjust to them

[wonky]

@olivesmarch4th

@It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery

I only dated one fellow introvert in my dating days - it was like a silent movie!

A lot of introverts are quiet, but I’m not. I am extremely introverted, but I can be pretty chatty when I’m not feeling overwhelmed by people. It just has to be the right circumstances – good conversation with one other person, for example, is my favorite pasttime. In those cases I can talk for hours.

Yeah, I can talk the hind leg off a mule. I don’t know how I can do that, but that’s what I’ve been told!

I have some pretty extreme variance in my chattiness. I’ll yammer on constantly under some circumstances, then in others I’ll be completely silent. I’m comfortable with both.

I don’t think the OP is talking about introverts/extroverts but about chatty versus non-chatty people. They aren’t the same set.

[GilaB]

The absolutely must-read essay on the subject is here. It dates to 2003, but still crops up on The Atlantic’s recent most popular articles list fairly often.

[Nava]

@jsgoddess

I don’t think the OP is talking about introverts/extroverts but about chatty versus non-chatty people. They aren’t the same set.

Dunnow, the few times I’ve been in the company of an introvert that didn’t realize when to shut up it was someone who’d latched onto his personal obsession and that personal obsession wasn’t anything “social”. An extrovert who’s chatty does not tell other people to smile, or to go out more often, or to be more sociable, or to be more fashionable… extroverts bloody well do (note that this doesn’t mean “all extroverts do”, it means that people who do it are, IME, always extroverts). It’s the extrovert version of “assuming by default that other people are similar to me”; since introverts are rarer, they’re likely to get the message that “not everybody is similar to me” at a younger age.

[zweisamkeit]

@Kyla

@Bosstone

I would say that’s unfortunately the majority of them, since, well, they’re always verting externally. That’s not to say all or even most extroverts are jerks, but introspection is about as easy for them as being social in a large group is for an introvert, and there’s a social impetus on intros to be social. Not so much on extros to be introspective.

I don’t know, I’m going to say that since you’re on the other side of the coin, you haven’t experienced it, but there is pressure on extroverts to be more introspective. I’m an extrovert and I’ve definitely gotten the social message that sometimes I need to shut the fuck up.

I’m an extroverted introvert, if that makes sense, and I know what you mean. The attitude of STFU comes in loooooud and clear. Also, a lot of introverts will have a hostile attitude towards chatty people that makes it clear they feel the extroverts are bubbly and airheaded just because they prefer talking. There’s an air of superiority.
Trust me, I work in IT; I’ve seen this a lot.

[picunurse]

@madmonk28

Yeah, I charge my batteries by being alone so that I have energy to be with people. There are other people who charge their batteries by being with people so that they can be alone.

Indeed. I’m married to one. He sometimes wears me out. Luckily, he sleeps late, while I don’t. I can have my quiet time in the morning.