An interview, a question and a slight problem

In My Humble Opinion
1

Do to dwindling financial resources, I have been looking for a job the last couple of weeks. My SO’s business has slowed almost to a crawl, he wants to slow down anyway and that is fine. But, we still have a mortgage, one kid in college and two more at home, and we all have become accustomed to eating on a regular basis.

Anyway, I got a call today, did an interview over the phone and was asked to come in for a second interview. Well, of course I am rather excited by this prospect, seeing as I have basically been a SAHM for the past 6 years.
That covers the interview part of the OP.

The question…I was asked to bring in three professional references. Now, I can come up with two, but I am really stuck for the third one. After all, as I stated, I have been a SAHM for 6 years, everyone I know is a SAHM as well. Can this be overlooked by potential employers? Will they understand?

Part the third - the problem - the SO has exibited a bit of hostility towards this job. He argues that it will not be worth it, financially, argues about our son’s schooling (we homeschool), argues about who is going to do this that and the other, that I hated every job I ever had, that I was always tired etc… He also claims that I have never been able to hold down any job I ever had, which does wonders for my ego, let me tell you. After I thought about it, I realize that he is completely wrong, my last job lasted 5 years before I quit/was let go due to SO’s increasing pressure to help out with his business. Job before that - 3 years, before that - temp job that lasted over 2.5 years, before that, 3 years etc…So I am pretty sure that it is just jealousy and the loss of control that he is angry about, not me actually working.

The job itself sounds fairly easy, just graveyard shift data entry and I would be home by 8:30AM. I would have the day to school our son, run errands and what not, is 4 days a week and not too far away.
So, dear Dopers, advice? thoughts? musings?..

2

As to the references, they probably ask for three because they always ask for three. They know you haven’t worked recently, right? Two good current references should be enough, but maybe you could offer others from people who knew you at previous jobs, even if they were quite a while ago, or maybe from people that know you in some other capacity. Do you do volunteer work for your church, coach in your kid’s soccer league, etc? Anybody who can attest that you are a responsible person (and who isn’t a relative) could probably be a back-up reference.

As to your husband’s concerns, maybe it is a power struggle. It certainly doesn’t sound good that he needs to run you down. But maybe he has some legitimate worries. Does he really object to you working at all, or does he object to that particular job? An overnight work shift can be hard. You plan to start work around midnight, get home at 8:30 in the morning, then teach your son all day? Are you going to be able to go to bed at 2 or 3 in the afternoon, every day, so you can get up at 10 or 11 to go to work? When are you and your husband going to see each other? Is he available to take over child care when you need to sleep? Or will you have to pay for child care? Are you all going to be happy not having dinner together? And on your days off, your body rhythms are still going to be on your work schedule; it won’t be like you can sleep during the day four times a week, sleep at night three times, and then start over again. If your child was in school it might be practical to come home from work in the morning, go straight to bed, then get up in time to spend the evening with your family before your shift. But what you’re describing sounds pretty much like taking a job out of town and coming home on weekends. And financially, after taxes and work-related expenses, does you husband have a point that it won’t be worth it?

Whatever you decide, you and your husband should work it out before you start the job, because you’re not going to be talking much afterward.

3

From your description it sounds like hubby’s upset that he’s failing and needs you to help. I wouldn’t worry about it, but then again, I don’t have to live with the guy…

It’s odd that he’d choose to say that the job is not financially worth it as it seems that any money at this point would be helpful. The one thing that I think he’s right about are the hours, if the job’s 12-8, you’ll be sleeping [most likely] right when you get home or right before you go to work (i.e. 8-5 or 4-12), which is a valid concern if you’ve got a kid running around the house. Adjusting your sleep schedule could be difficult.

As for the third reference, use the name of the coordinator from your temp job. They’ll be just as good as anyone else.

4

Thanks for the replies. Hubby re-thought his original stance and now supports this move.

As to the kid running around the house, the kid is 12, so he should be just fine. :slight_smile: Keep your fingers crossed for me!