I’m too far away to meet IRL, and not experienced enough to be much help in the support department either. I’ll just say that you’ve always seemed like a straight-shooter in your posts here, and have had a lot of interesting things to contribute to this community.
Best wishes, I do hope things clear up for you.
Someone take this offer quick! I can vouch that senorbeef is an extremely charming and lovable young man.
He made me say that. 
I wish I lived in Ohio - we could hang out!
SenorBeef, you talk as if somehow your feelings of lonliness and saddness are your fault. You are not pitiful. You sound really depressed. If you are, that’s not your fault at all.
Can you talk about it here? Does it have to be in email? There are lots of us who are depression survivors and will understand. That way we can take turns being supportive to you. Dopers really do care about each other, you know…
Whatever you do, don’t harm yourself. Even if you don’t have insurance, put yourself in a safe place if it comes to that. Your ability to make sound judgments and control your impulses may be affected along with your other feelings.
I wish I could give you my hands to hold. Try to imagine. My hands and fingers are very small and white and showing some age. They are soft because I’m lazy. I wear three rings and bright red nail polish. My hands would tell you that I’m self-indulgent. I hope that you will overlook that and trust enough to share here.
SenorBeef, I don’t mean to be too boastful, but my hugs are world-renowed for their curative power. So, even though I am far away in California, I am summoning all my strength to stretch out my arms to you. At this very moment…and for every moment hereafter…I am giving you a long, warm, all encompassing, there-there now, pat you on the back and cradle your head and make it all better hug.
Lies.
More lies.
Well, alright. It really doesn’t matter at this point.
No, not really. I feel extremely exposed just asking for people to contact me, let alone voicing much more intimate things on a public message board. I’m an extremely private person.
While we haven’t had a chance to talk that much yet (my fault 
), I can already vouch that SenorBeef is a special guy with a quick wit and interesting things to say. I hope that someone in the area sees this post and takes the opportunity to get to know him. 
I certainly wish you all the best in finding what you’re looking for, Senor.
Someone sent me an e-mail with a misconfigured e-mail client… the message didn’t go through, and all I know is that it appears to have come from an x.PA.comcast.net address. If you sent something, and I didn’t respond, then it’s probably you… if you want to try to fix that and resend it I’d appreciate it.
Just thought I would mention that I happened to find a website for people in Cleveland who are looking to meet new friends (no romantic agenda) here: http://www.meetin.org/city/MEETinCLEVELAND/index.cfm Perhaps that is another avenue to explore to find some local friendship and support while you’re looking for someone on here. I am sure that once you find the right support things will be easier. Don’t give up on reaching out for help.
I’m really sorry to do this, but I feel compelled to out of desperation. I won’t bump it again.
Hey, SenorBeef, you can send me e-mail. My addy’s in my profile.
I hope you’re doing better soon.
SenorBeef, send me an e-mail anytime!
I want to thank everyone who responded to me.
Although unfortunately almost everyone that I talked to has ditched me in one form or another by now, I did take comfort in talking to some of you.
I didn’t respond to a few people - mostly because I just wasn’t in the mood to communicate when I got it and then it slipped my mind. I’m sorry for that and I appreciate that you care anyway.
This whole recovery thing isn’t going to work for me, so I figured I’d say thanks anyway.
Check your email, you’ve got another.
Listen… at the bottom of the trough, you can’t even remember the crest. Hell, you can’t even remember that there are crests. And things seem like they’ll never get better. The truth of the matter is that ‘recovery’ isn’t a magic wand, or a light switch. It’s a lifelong process, with backsliding and all the chaos of being human.
Other people have been where you are, and it really does get better. You’re a Doper, you need help, and I’m not about to give up on you. Please don’t give up on yourself if you can help it.
Just to clarify, I’m sorry if that second to last line sounded harsh. “you need help” isn’t exactly what I meant to say, more like “You’ve asked for help and it is good to have people around who care.”
SenorBeef, You might benefit from a 12-Step program such as Emotions Anonymous.
There are meetings in the Cleveland area.
It’s free. It gets you out of the house. It helps you to start thinking outside of yourself. You’ll be able to talk about your problems to very sympathetic people, who will be quite willing to hug you.
SenorBeef, I’m sorry to hear that things still are difficult for you, but don’t give up on hope for recovery. I’m sure there is something out there that will be what you’re looking for. I had never heard of Emotions Anonymous before Laina’s post but it certainly sounds like that could be a great way to find some understanding people in your area.
From way accross the ocean I want to say how deeply moved I am by the sympathetic response and helpful advice you received. SDopers are really nice, considerate people. You’re one of them.
Hope you’re still checking this thread. I’m gonna email you.
I’m very sorry that life hasn’t been easier for you, SenorBeef . . . really, I am. But, after some three months of interaction with the good folks of the SDMB, this avenue doesn’t seem to be providing you with adequate help.
I strongly suggest that you see a professional who has the proper training to deal with the problems you seem to be experiencing.
I wish you only the best.
Cajun Man
for the SDMB