An odd request... I need someone to talk to

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This isn’t really the appropriate place for a request like this, and I realize how odd it is, but this board is sort of my internet home…

So what the hell.

My life is at the lowest point it’s ever been at, and that’s saying a lot. And the person who I normally turn to for support is a large part of the cause of my problems. I’m a private, somewhat crazy person and I’ve alienated a lot of people who have cared about me in the past. And now as I look around for someone to talk to, someone to care, the list is pretty thin.

I realize how weird a request it is, asking for a stranger to care… I’ve always been, on some deep level, a nurturing person… had a strong desire to comfort people in their time of need… and I thought maybe I’d come across someone who felt the same way… who wanted to care, to nurture, to help. And so this is it - a random cry for help in a probably inappropriate place.

My e-mail is senorbeef (at) worldnetoh (dot) com if anyone wishes to contact me.

Thank you.

2

Have you considered making an appointment with a counsellor or pastor or someone in real life who could help you?

3

I second featherlou’s advice. If you feel like your life is at its lowest point, it might be better to talk with someone who has the experience and/or training to help you out.

I wish you all the best, SenorBeef. I would volunteer my services but I’ve never been very good at that sort of thing.

4

I third the advice given, and also offer my mail box (have a look in my profile for my email) as a source of comfort. If for any reason you want to drop me a line, if you think it might make you feel better, then go for it.

5

I have looked into seeing counsellors - a few days ago I saw a crisis intervention/suicide prevention counsellor, but I have to wait until at least tomorrow to see about getting an appointment with a regular one. I have no medical insurance currently, and there are assistance programs where I live for that, but I may have to wait in line for those.

Thank you to everyone who has written me.

6

Oh, that sucks! I’ve had the same problem. I’ve got a mood disorder that started acting up and I figured “Oooooookay… this needs to get reassessed because I’m not doing so well…” So early in December I went to a GP who got me a referral for a new pshychiatrist… for mid-February.

sigh

Ain’t that grand? Sometimes, although the services exist IRL you’re told to wait. Sometimes you have to wait a long time.

Count me in as someone you can e-mail too if you need to talk, rant, vent, or need some fresh insight.

7

Also, please, to anyone I haven’t responded to yet, please don’t take offense. I’ve been trying to occupy myself with other stuff today rather than dwell on my current situation. Your responses are very much appreciated, I’m just getting back to them at my own pace, when I’m in the right mindset. Thank you.

8

Also, try to find some support groups in your location. I go to an anxiety disorder support group once a week, and it is a great source of comfort to share stories, problems, and solutions with people who know exactly what I’m talking about.

9

Chin-up pal. Things get better. <insert platitude here> I’m sure you are tired of telling your problems to everyone, but if you want philosophical advice of some sort drop me a line. Us Buckeyes have to stick together.

Thoughts and prayers are with you.
-Mike

10

I’m here if anyone needs an ear. I’m a pretty good listener, and I only rarely interrupt with things like “What the hell are you talking about, you stupid bitch?!?!”

No, seriously, feel free to drop me a line. Any of you, if you ever feel like talking. I’m usually here not doing anything, anyway. :smiley:

11

Just wanted to say good on ya for seeking counseling. At times, it can be the hardest step to take.

If you would like yet another person to vent to, my door ia always open,a nd my email is in my profile. Feel free to contact me.

12

Update:

It’s been a month since I started this thread. Since, I’ve seen several counsellors (and have a regular one) and some pill givers. The counsellors have all been great - people that really seemed to care, who tried/try to help me. The medical people not so much, unfortunately. But I’ve been on an SSRI for a month now and it’s certainly helping in some ways. I’ve made a good bit of progress in some ways.

Around 15 people responded to my post by e-mail, and I’m thankful for everyone one of them. Three stuck out to me for various reasons.

One in particular was very kind to me, very supportive. To be honest, I’m not sure I would’ve survived that first week without her. And I realize how pathetic that is - to be so bad off that clinging to a kind and caring stranger felt like the only thing I could do… But she’s way too busy with her own life now to provide that kind of support to me.

And I realized pretty quickly that I wasn’t just asking for someone to talk to, but I wanted to find someone to care. And I realize how unreasonable that is - to want a stranger to care. But you reach a certain point of desperation and you’re willing to give anything a shot, give out a random cry for help and hope you happen to run across someone who’s unusually caring and understanding and supportive and good hearted.

The other two didn’t work out - in one case we got along really well, and I took comfort from talking, but they were simply way too busy. In the other, it was clear pretty fast that it wouldn’t be a good situation to continue talking.

And a few friends from my past who I’d hope would come through for me didn’t.

And an incident from last week unrelated to all this has damaged my optimism by quite a bit. So, as much as I’ve been making slow but hopeful progress over the last few weeks, over the last week, with my hopes being damaged, and those who supported me not having time for me, I feel as if I’m regressing pretty harshly. The contact I had with people I got along with and who cared about me was much more comforting than anything any of the counsellors or psychiatrists have been able to do for me, and I feel weaker without it.

To be honest, I don’t know what my intent is in writing this. I remembered this thread today and I thought about writing an update and just going with it. It’s pretty weird for me, an extremely private person, to be so open on a public message board like this…

So, I don’t know. If anyone wants to contact me, knowing all that I’ve just said, I could certainly use the communication. I know it can’t be tempting to respond to someone so pathetic as I am right now, so I don’t suppose I expect many, if any responses. But as I said, you reach a certain point of desperation and figure “what the hell” and try just about anything.

I’m a pretty laid back guy, usually, easy to talk to, fun with the right people, so I’m not exactly a boring quivering mess… I just miss the contact of talking to interesting people, joking, having someone care, whatever. I’m still not entirely sure what I hope to get out of writing this, but, as I said, what the hell.

senorbeef -at- worldnetoh -dot- com

13

Check your email.

14

Sorry, I know it’s a bit of a faux pas to bump your own threads here, and after this I will let the thread die. Just wanted to give it one last shot.

15

I’m in almost the same boat. I’m also just over in the next state; I didn’t see this thread until you bumped it today. My wife has to be in Cleveland over the next two weekends, email me if you want to get a beer or something. We can talk about conquering the keeper league, or whatever. Mail’s in the profile.

16

I’m glad you’re doing better, SenorBeef.

17

I’m not, actually.

18

Oh, sorry. I guess your last post read a little sunnier the first time through. I focused on the fact that you were trying to get some professional help, but obviously that takes time to have any effect.

And I feel especially stupid that I totally missed this paragraph.

:smack::smack::smack:

My apologies, SenorBeef. My only excuse is that I’m going through something very similar right now myself, and I guess it’s taking its toll. I hope you feel better soon.

19

I’m sorry to resurrect this thread, I said I wouldn’t.

The whole recovery deal… medication, therapy, all that, doesn’t seem to be working anywhere near sufficiently.

I keep asking for more on this thread, and I figured I’d give it one last ditch shot.

Is there anyone that lives in the general northeast ohio area that might want to talk to me and maybe eventually meet? I’ve found some people to talk to here, and that has really helped me, but sometimes I need a hug so badly that it would be really nice to find someone I could do that with.

I know that’s a lot to ask, but I’m desperate enough to try just about anything not to feel so bad. I’m a pretty good guy, not crazy or anything… I could have people vouch for me that I’ve met from the board, I suppose.

I know this is a pretty lofty request, but I guess it doesn’t really hurt to give it a shot.

20

To clarify, I didn’t mean that in any sort of romantic context. Just a potentially close friendship.