The correct response is "you’re one of Them, aren’t you?
I DID EVERYTHING YOU SAID! I MADE THE BLOOD SACRIFICE! THE INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTAL IS SEALED UNTIL THE NEXT CONJUNCTION!
NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
How were the nachos?
Regards,
Shodan
Bolding mine.
I am so hoping she did not share this information with you as well.
One summer when I was in my teens, my father and I drove out to the Italian ice stand for a treat. We were waiting in line; I was behind a woman and her unsupervised toddler, who started rambling around, tripped over my foot (I hadn’t moved) and began wailing. His mom started screaming at me for trying to injure her child. My father was amused.
Fast forward a few weeks, and my parents and I stopped at a bookstore after eating out. I was looking at some titles when I suddenly heard a woman yelling loudly and profanely. Shortly after that, my father, looking embarrassed, came and got me and we left the store in a hurry. Turns out that a woman who was a stranger to him had repeatedly shoved against him (to reach a book?), he got annoyed and nudged her back, at which point she fell to the floor and started screaming (apparently she was some variety of nutcase).
I found this amusing. 
Love the understated sarcasm
Seriously, this kind of thing happened often enough for my brother & I, that I just quit accompanying him to bars.
When he has too much to drink, he calls me & I come get him. While there is still some hassle often enough, this keeps my involvement to an absolute minimum. After settling up, I throw him over my shoulder & carry him out to his pickup. Where I throw him in the back on a mattress. Then I drive away. Rarely does anyone follow me out.
It helps that I am a big, ugly, biker looking guy.
Declarative statement. She told me, in no uncertain terms, that I have a problem. Made no sense.
In retrospect, it’s kinda humorous, but in the moment, not expecting it, the remark was a tad concerning.
I’m stressed enough, I don’t need some geriatric vigilante threatening me. Check please.
Ain’t that the truth. I’ve seen plenty of drunk folks, but never a retirement aged woman with a chip on her shoulder. That was a first.
I don’t even drink, at all. Used to. I was just hanging out with the mrs who had a couple glasses of wine.
I thought of that, but no, not at all.
She thinks I’m the beez kneez. 
I got too much to lose. Whenever I occasionally encounter a nut bag, I go around. My life is not Custer’s last stand. Crazies gonna crazy… let ‘em. Just stay out the way.
A neighbor on Sunday (Feb 24) started yelling at me because (apparently) I took down my flag too early on 4th of July. “All the kids loved that flag! They were taking pictures! And you took it down! Why did you take it down?!?!?! Why?!?!? Why?!?!?!” I had to walk away.
I’m sorry you got picked on by some old folks. Here’s the flip side:
I, my girlfriend, and my best friend were at a small beach on a nearby lake. We are all in our 60s. We were talking in an animated fashion, reminiscing, etc. Suddenly the 18-year-old lifeguard scampers down from his perch and loudly admonishes us: “I heard what you said. You can’t talk like that here. Can’t you see there are children here?.. etc. etc.” He was really flipping out. We moved away but as we left mentioned it to the ranger in charge. He sighed…“yeah, Jason, there’s been a lot of complaints about him…”
Was he wearing a hockey mask and carrying a very large knife?
Have you taken her for a ride in your ‘special’ car?
Too many times to mention. My MO is to be quiet and back away to the exit calmly, if at all possible.
I had a Dalmatian female. Every kid who ever saw her wanted to pet her. She had to wear a muzzle out and about because she was evil. I cannot tell you how many times Mothers chewed me out because I wouldn’t little Sally or Tommy pet the nice doggy from the movie. I got good at jerking the dog behind me when I saw little kids coming our way. I told many irate people if they liked Sally’s un-scarred face they might wanna back off. The dog had a real menacing growl, which helped. Then I got griped at for having a vicious dog. Couldn’t win. She was schizophrenic we think. She loved us to a fault. Very territorial and wary of everyone else.
With a muzzle on? I find that astonishing. I mean - not the kids of course, they don’t know better. But I wouldn’t go near any muzzled dog, surely it’s pretty obvious to an adult that there’s a reason they are muzzled. Bizarre that you had to explain.
What can I say? People are stupid.
Years ago, on a trip to New Orleans, walking through the French Quarter with my boss, who decided she needed a bathroom. No problem, we ducked into the next nightclub. It was still early enough that the clubs were prettier empty. Started chatting with the bartender, who was also the owner. The club was a “registered paranormal site”.
The doors opened and this…guy…walks in. He looked like Gary Oldman in Bram Stoker’s Dracula, in crushed velvet and lace cravat, top hat, long hair, the works. He sits beside me, does not order anything. Begins chatting. The guy clearly believes he is a vampire of some sort. He joins in on the chat about ghosties and other things. After a while, he drums his nails at the bar, I notice they are all long, and filed into points.
I comment “Unusual manicure.”
He smiles and runs his nails along the back of my head to my neck - ew! - and says “You are lovely and I would love to take you home…”
Yeah. My boss and I left Dracula-wannabe shortly thereafter. I hope he met the vampiress of his dreams.
I came to an intersection in the middle of an expansive parking lot. No one around but me and some guy coming the other way. The intersection had stop signs. He dutifully stopped, but scofflaw that I am, I just sailed through. I could see him screaming at me through his windshield as I drove by.