An unusual theft

As some of you know, I’m a news guy. And occasionally, a strange press release will cross my computer. Here’s the latest.

Weird. Why would anyone steal those?

Somone once stole MrsItekis prescription sunglasses. MrsIteki is blind as a bat and astygmatic. I hope the thieves puked all the way home.

The chinese restuarant that I work at got robbed a few months ago. The theif took our fancy schmancy wine bottle opener and two bags of fortune cookies. I imagine they did it becuase they could, not becuase there was any monitary value to them. It was probably the same with the horoscopes.