Anal bleaching: Have you? Would you?

[Green_Bean]

@pravnik

Yes, I do bleach, but only out of absolute necessity, as I wear a man-thong to the beach, where a too-dark anus would attract undue attention.

Is it absolutely necessary to wear a thong to the beach? And isn’t the thong supposed to be covering the anus anyway. I’m confused.

@Dangerosa

You’ve asked this before, pre poll. And Green Bean did a lovely mock ad in that thread for anal bleaching.

Bwah! I’d forgotten all about that! Thanks. I’ll re-post it here just for yuks.

@Green_Bean

Well, if they ever decide to advertise anal bleaching on a large scale, I have a campaign all worked out.

*Scene: A swingers party or some such.

Camera pans around the room. Everyone is naked. All sorts of couples and threesomes and more-somes are going at it. We can see that these people are of all shapes, sizes, and ages (at least by the standards of tv-land…but they’re not all perfect model-types)

Camera stops on one woman, dejectedly sitting alone on a bench by a wall. She’s a knockout by any standard. But she’s obviously a wallflower. She looks out at all the people having fun.

We hear her thoughts: “I don’t know why nobody wants to play with me. I used deodorant. I brushed my teeth. I’m freshly shaved. And I think I’m pretty enough! I wish I knew what the problem is!”

The camera pulls away a bit, and we see a somewhat matronly older woman sit down next to the pretty young thing and look at her with knowing sympathy.

The pretty young thing tearfully blurts out “Why am I so unpopular!?”

The older woman says “It’s not you, dear. It’s your dingy old asshole.”

The pretty young thing looks surprised and hopeful, and a hot young stud comes over and leads the older woman away. We hear the older woman giggling off screen and saying “oh, you want me to bend over…again??”

Cut to screen with “DR. MERCOTAN’S ANAL BLEACHING CLINIC” with contact information, and voice-over saying “Could your sex life be a little more lively? Call Dr. Mercotan’s Anal Bleaching Clinic today!” *