Anal bleaching: Have you? Would you?

[Cat_Whisperer]

Okay, now you have me picturing black people with lily white anuses and sitting here chortling.

[Guinastasia]

I wonder if Goatse Guy knows about this…

[Serenata67]

This is the weirdest timing. On Thanksgiving (yes, Thanksgiving) I was talking about this with my mother-in-law, two of her sisters and one of their husbands about it. It was weird. But hilarious. I guess one of the sisters knows a guy who does it… yick.

[pravnik]

Yes, I do bleach, but only out of absolute necessity, as I wear a man-thong to the beach, where a too-dark anus would attract undue attention.

Might I add you have no right to judge me, as I am just as God made me.

Except for my bright white butthole.

[freckafree]

@Guinastasia

I wonder if Goatse Guy knows about this…

Gee, thanks, Guinastasia. Now I need brain bleach.

[Dangerosa]

You’ve asked this before, pre poll. And Green Bean did a lovely mock ad in that thread for anal bleaching. But no. I can think of cosmetic treatments I might try - having gotten past feminist indignation and into middle age “maybe just a little lift” vanity - but anal bleaching - not on my radar.

Is anal bleaching for you?

[SteveG1]

@runner pat

From the link.
:eek::rolleyes:
And to quote a celebrity " Oh, hell no!!"

To quote from Kurt Russell in “The Thing”,

Oh. No. Fucking. Way.

[SteveG1]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

In general I am quite fond of white people, but the topic of anal bleaching leads me to think that some of y’all is whack.

You’re just finding that out???

[Qadgop_the_Mercotan]

@Dangerosa

You’ve asked this before, pre poll. And Green Bean did a lovely mock ad in that thread for anal bleaching. But no. I can think of cosmetic treatments I might try - having gotten past feminist indignation and into middle age “maybe just a little lift” vanity - but anal bleaching - not on my radar.

Is anal bleaching for you? - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board

Yeah, but with anonymous polling, I can get better data now.

It’s all about the data.

[SteveG1]

@Really_Not_All_That_Bright

I had no idea all that coffee was staining my anus. Now that I know… I’m still going to drink coffee.

I already do…

I was a nonconformist rebel, making a statement and didn’t even know how cool I was being

[Dangerosa]

@Qadgop_the_Mercotan

Yeah, but with anonymous polling, I can get better data now.

It’s all about the data.

And frankly, the topic of anal bleaching just needs to be brought up from time to time. Because anyone who hasn’t heard of it needs to go WTF!!!

[Freudian_Slit]

If you’re looking straight up into my anus and thinking, “Wow this is hot, but if only if were a little lighter,” then I’m going to projectile poop in your face.

That is all.

[tr0psn4j]

Title of a google search result was “An Asshole to Dye For”

[Ludovic]

I would not, could not, cause its crass.
I would not, could not, bleach my ass.
I would not bleach it with some lye
I would not put acid into the pie
I would not could not, it sounds heinous
I WILL NOT LET BLEACH NEAR MY ANUS
I will let my ass stay nice and tan
I do not like ass-bleach, Mercotan!

[MeanOldLady]

@Freudian_Slit

If you’re looking straight up into my anus and thinking, “Wow this is hot, but if only if were a little lighter,” then I’m going to projectile poop in your face.

That is all.

Ha ha ha! Awesome.

[salinqmind]

Well, thanks for bringing this up. I was watching Mythbusters, indulging in my favorite OCD behavior (picking fuzzballs off my sweater), and now I’m going to find a BIG mirror to scrutinize my orifice and worry if it’s too dark! Bleaching one’s butthole is so OVER, I think the new fashion should be dyeing or tattooing pretty designs to give people who like looking at buttholes something of interest to study.

[pravnik]

@salinqmind

Well, thanks for bringing this up. I was watching Mythbusters, indulging in my favorite OCD behavior (picking fuzzballs off my sweater), and now I’m going to find a BIG mirror to scrutinize my orifice and worry if it’s too dark! Bleaching one’s butthole is so OVER, I think the new fashion should be dyeing or tattooing pretty designs to give people who like looking at buttholes something of interest to study.

Oh, the tattooing’s been done. Trust me, its been done.

[blondebear]

If the treatment prevented those unsightly tell-tail underwear stains…but no, I guess it wouldn’t.

[Green_Bean]

@pravnik

Yes, I do bleach, but only out of absolute necessity, as I wear a man-thong to the beach, where a too-dark anus would attract undue attention.

Is it absolutely necessary to wear a thong to the beach? And isn’t the thong supposed to be covering the anus anyway. I’m confused.

@Dangerosa

You’ve asked this before, pre poll. And Green Bean did a lovely mock ad in that thread for anal bleaching.

Bwah! I’d forgotten all about that! Thanks. I’ll re-post it here just for yuks.

@Green_Bean

Well, if they ever decide to advertise anal bleaching on a large scale, I have a campaign all worked out.

*Scene: A swingers party or some such.

Camera pans around the room. Everyone is naked. All sorts of couples and threesomes and more-somes are going at it. We can see that these people are of all shapes, sizes, and ages (at least by the standards of tv-land…but they’re not all perfect model-types)

Camera stops on one woman, dejectedly sitting alone on a bench by a wall. She’s a knockout by any standard. But she’s obviously a wallflower. She looks out at all the people having fun.

We hear her thoughts: “I don’t know why nobody wants to play with me. I used deodorant. I brushed my teeth. I’m freshly shaved. And I think I’m pretty enough! I wish I knew what the problem is!”

The camera pulls away a bit, and we see a somewhat matronly older woman sit down next to the pretty young thing and look at her with knowing sympathy.

The pretty young thing tearfully blurts out “Why am I so unpopular!?”

The older woman says “It’s not you, dear. It’s your dingy old asshole.”

The pretty young thing looks surprised and hopeful, and a hot young stud comes over and leads the older woman away. We hear the older woman giggling off screen and saying “oh, you want me to bend over…again??”

Cut to screen with “DR. MERCOTAN’S ANAL BLEACHING CLINIC” with contact information, and voice-over saying “Could your sex life be a little more lively? Call Dr. Mercotan’s Anal Bleaching Clinic today!” *

[Broomstick]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

In general I am quite fond of white people, but the topic of anal bleaching leads me to think that some of y’all is whack.

@MeanOldLady

Is this some white people thing? Man, honkeys is craaa-zay!

Apparently it is an issue for some white people but most white people have much more important things to worry about, like when was the last time they cleaned out the vegetable crisper or how to get the dust out from under the stove.

The color of my asshole is something I could care less about. Or the color of anyone else’s asshole.