Ancient Sumerian proverbs

[Mississippienne]

From the Electronic Text Corpus of Sumerian Literature, I found an interesting collection of ancient Sumerian proverbs. Some of it’s like an ancient Farmer’s Almanac, and some of it’s more of an advice column.

Some of it is wise.

You should not pick a quarrel; you should not disgrace yourself.

Putting unwashed hands to one’s mouth is disgusting.

You should not boast; then your words will be trusted.

When the sun is setting outside so that you cannot even recognise the hand in front of you, go indoors!

You should not pass judgment when you drink beer.

“Though I still have bread left over, I will eat your bread!” Will this endear a man to the household of his friend?

Marry a wife according to your choice. Have children to your heart’s content.

Some of it is clearly written by women.

You should not commit rape on someone’s daughter; the courtyard will learn of it.

An unfaithful penis matches (?) an unfaithful vagina.

The elder brother is indeed like a father; the elder sister is indeed like a mother. Listen therefore to your elder brother, and you should be obedient to your elder sister as if she were your mother.

The mother who has given birth to eight young men lies down exhausted.

You should not abduct a wife; you should not make her cry.

A crafty man does not transgress (?) against his mother.

You should not have sex with your slave girl: she will chew you up.

Some of it’s just bizarre.

The artistic mouth recites words; the harsh mouth brings litigation documents; the sweet mouth gathers sweet herbs.

May the master sleep at your side, and may the mistress slap your face.

All day long, oh penis, you ejaculate as if you have blood inside you, and then you hang like a damp reed.

You should not cut the throat of that which has already had its throat cut.

You cannot butt me with your horns! Who is it that you are butting? You cannot kill me – I am running away!

A male aroused eats salt. A female aroused is dragged in the mud.

When someone is poor ……, they dine on the broth of the human breast.

[Acid_Lamp]

@Mississippienne

Some of it’s just bizarre.

(snip)
nah you just have to interpret it.

The penis one is weird though.

[Terrifel]

A male aroused eats salt. A female aroused is dragged in the mud.

Ooh! Ooh! I know what that one means! Salt was greatly valued in ancient times! Therefore, a male aroused is fortunate! Whereas being dragged in the mud is… not so fortunate.

All day long, oh penis, you ejaculate as if you have blood inside you, and then you hang like a damp reed.

No mystery there. Them’s just the plain facts. Not really a ‘proverb’ so much as an ‘observation.’

Nice to know that even 5000 years ago guys were talking to it.

[Lucretia]

Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman did not fart in her husband’s embrace.

Um…kay. Them Sumerians were kinda kinky.

[Ogre]

A male aroused eats salt. A female aroused is dragged in the mud.

Maybe ancient Sumeria was as fucked up in terms of its perception of female sexuality as ours is. That is, men are supposed to sow their wild oats, while women are supposed to be chaste and pure.

[Mississippienne]

@Terrifel

No mystery there. Them’s just the plain facts. Not really a ‘proverb’ so much as an ‘observation.’

Nice to know that even 5000 years ago guys were talking to it.

But ALL DAY though? Well, I guess if you’re determined to make little Sumerians…

[KneadToKnow]

You cannot butt me with your horns! Who is it that you are butting? You cannot kill me – I am running away!

I didn’t realize Roger Waters had a new album out. Thanks!

[wolfman]

You cannot butt me with your horns! Who is it that you are butting? You cannot kill me – I am running away!

Perhaps he was dictating.

[Lightray]

The artistic mouth recites words; the harsh mouth brings litigation documents; the sweet mouth gathers sweet herbs.

I’m guessing this is a version of “you can tell what someone is like by what they say”.

May the master sleep at your side, and may the mistress slap your face.

Wishing that your master (owner?) favors you enough that he sleeps with you, and that he likes you enough that his wife is jealous about him sleeping with you – probably means you’ll soon be a pampered concubine, rather than servant/slave.

All day long, oh penis, you ejaculate as if you have blood inside you, and then you hang like a damp reed.

During the day, when it is not use, he’s sprouting wood. Then, when he gets the chance to do something with it: nothing.

The others do get weird, although I think Ogre and Terrifel got the salt one right.

[Malthus]

I like this one:

Beer is a bull. The mouth is its stairway.

These ones read just like a summary of all advice columns ever written:

91

51. My girlfriend’s heart is a heart made for me.
52. Who can reveal the heart that is …… made for me?

“Nice Guys” beware:

In my heart you are a human being, but in my eyes you are not a man.

Family values:

He who does not support a wife, he who does not support a child, has no cause for celebration.
Marrying is human. Having children is divine.

[Isamu]

You should not have sex with your slave girl: she will chew you up.

Did anyone else find themseleves humming a certain Hall and Oats tune…?
(Oh-oh, here she comes) Watch out boy she’ll chew you up

[Arglefraster]

I originally mis-read the thread title as “Ancient Sumerian Adverbs”. I was like, “Wow, that’s obscure, even for the Dope”.

@Mississippienne

When someone is poor ……, they dine on the broth of the human breast.

I’m going to take a wild stab at this one. If the Sumerians shared our thoughts about compassion/love coming from the heart (which is in the chest/breast), this might be something along the lines of “poor people live on the compassion of others”. Kind of a “be kind to those less fortunate than you” thing.

[Cluricaun]

You should not abuse a ewe; otherwise you will give birth to a daughter.

Can we get a ruling on this one from Hal?

[AK84]

Explain this
My husband heaps up for me, my child measures out for me; let my lover pick the bones from the fish for me.

[Derleth]

@AK84

Explain this
My husband heaps up for me, my child measures out for me; let my lover pick the bones from the fish for me.

Everyone else makes my life difficult. Let my lover go out of his way to make life easy for me. (Ever deboned a fish? Tedious, annoying work you wish you could pawn off on someone else.)

[cwthree]

@Lucretia

Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman did not fart in her husband’s embrace.

I’ll be honest - I didn’t get this one when I first saw it a while ago, and I still don’t.

[Cluricaun]

@cwthree

I’ll be honest - I didn’t get this one when I first saw it a while ago, and I still don’t.

Apparently you’ve never hugged an old Sumerian woman. It’s like wrapping your arms around a foghorn.

[freckafree]

There is no baked cake in the middle of the dough.

Is this the Sumerian equivalent of “There’s GOT to be a pony in there somewhere!”?

[Ludovic]

Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman did not fart in her husband’s embrace.

Maybe it’s playing on the notion that women will “let themselves go” when married, as opposed to being demure and dainty when courting?

[Furious_Marmot]

@wolfman

Perhaps he was dictating.

To a goat?