Five years later
[sub]for Keith[/sub]
I don’t think the movies ever get it right
those last moments before the reality of hammer and trigger and bullet meet flesh
I’d like to think that you felt regret
but then, I’ve also wished that I could throw off
the finite count of our shared smiles
by just one.
Redemption never was the question-
we missed you. We all blamed ourselves
in some little way
the thousand failures, games of kick the can
by streetlight where we noticed
nothing wrong, monumental turnpoints
that only existed in retrospect or not at all.
But in the end it was your reality
of waking up and knowing
that it was your last Thursday
and counting down
those seconds
until wishing it would go away
was too little, too late.
Very nice. I wish I had more to say, but I think I’ll just leave it.
Yeah… it about says it all, doesn’t it.
Every year around this time I write a poem for him. Sigh… funny how some things just haunt you.
That’s lovely, and a bit sad Andy. Words are never enough, but you’ve done a fine job… If possible, I’d like to see more of your poems regarding keith.
Andy…that was absolutely beautiful. I’m crying right here in computer class because it reminds me of a friend of mine.
[stupid question mode] Keith Diamond? [/stupid question mode]
Keith lived down the street from me. We grew up together; he was a year younger. He killed himself when he was in 7th grade. I don’t know. I would say that particular night was one of the worst of my life, except it was one of those ripples in the pond things where you still can see them even after all of this time.
My thoughts are with you, Andy - especially so since someone I know committed suicide a year ago Wednesday. (I talked about that a little here.) The ripples are very much there, and I imagine they will be for awhile.
