Sorry Crack’dOff, sounds too… illegal.
I do love the poem though. 
Hehe, little hangy thingie.
And kitti, you know I only liked your for your tiny waist and huge tits.
<shivers in the breeze and feels out of place>
I see you guys have found another place to get into mischief…
That’s ok. I did meet my wife when she was 17, though. Of course, that was 13 years ago. And yes, I did wait until she turned 18 before I asked her out. I am a gentleman after all, not a lech. Well, mostly. 
Awwwwee, Crack’dOff
Oh, Hi, Erin. Welcome to the insanity that is the SDMB. You make the 5th person I’ve ‘recruited’. Do I get a free toaster or something?
Hiya Erin.
Wow. Take a few days away from the boards while you’re driving cross country and look at what pops up! Strange women professing their undying devotion to the object of my affections, bizarre hijacks that I am not a part of, and Crack’d posting psycho poetry!
Aah, we spent 4 days trapped in a car and we still want to be together. Something tells me we’ll be ok. 
Well, I suggest we take the King Solomon approach.
Oldscratch, lie down here.
(Whips out a giant cleavers knife.)
Who wants steaks?
Steaks? You’ve got to be kidding! There’s more meat on my cat. If we mechanically separated oldscratch, we’d be lucky to get enough meat to make a vienna sausage.