Well Stiletto if you insist - and yes I agree this could take a while 
:Hangs ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign up:
…Ah, there we go. A nice milk chocolate coating, complete with a white chocolate fairy on one side (with orange chocolate wings) and a white chocolate unicorn (orange chocolate hair and horn) on the other. I don’t like dark chocolate, so there’s none of that. I’m all better from my fall, I took some ibuprofin and my boobies survived.
Oh, my elephant returned with the pilots! Must go… um… do stuff. Prances off to the toaster I hope they can fit inside too…
Follows Stiletto to the makeup room with camera in hand
Pulls up a chair outside the curtain, stands on it and points camera down into the room
::Narrarating:: - “And here we see the Chocolate Artiste finishing up the delicate touch-ups needed on Miss ems. A little French silk here, some finely crushed Oreos sprinkled there… Amazing! He is truly a master of his trade. Let’s catch up with agentfroot for a closeup of her titillating torso, shall we?”
Sniffs the air Aaaahhhh, do I smell… sniff, sniff…TRUFFLES?!?
[Hungry bear mode on] Truffles, truffles, truffles, truffles, [sub]truffles…[/sub]
Hey it said Do not disturb
But if it is for the good of the RDA I suppose so…
By the way, folks, the truffles are ready. Enjoy!
MMM…Truffles!!!
::sneaks another one off the plate, looks around, then remembers that he’s supposed to be on a diet and leaves the rest for someone else::
You need me. I can analyze. I can manipulate. I can mislead, I can gain followers, and I can be just plain vindictive. OK, now which side wants me?
Hmmmm. Who here needs a wife?
::ducks and scuttles to the editing room posthaste::
I cannot believe that in three pages of posts, no one on the SDMB has come to the realization that Splutter is really Al Haig.
:Hands round plate of truffles wafting the inviting smell under LurkMeister’s nose:
:steels himself against the smell of truffles while closely examining the finely crushed Oreos sprinkled on ems and wonders if he should offer to do a viscosity test on her French silk coating:
Oreos? You were obviously paying too much attention to the controls on your video camera there, Horseflesh. I didn’t use oreos. That’s just cheap.
Admires his work in dark swiss chocolate, honey dust, and fine italian cocoa powder on ems boobies.
I think it turned out well, considering we had to re-do it, what, twelve times.
Good thing I have a high tolerance for chocolate. 
Monica, you’re officially invited to join the Doper Rebel Alliance. We need somebody like you.
For starters, could you swindle some more supplies out of the WDA? We’re running low on chocolate. And get good stuff, please.
And don’t forget to have that tag-team
gay strip-o-gram delivered to Splutter…I think it’s the least we
can do.
You’ll get full benefits…just fill out the paperwork with leechbabe…LurkMeister can show you where the uniforms, supplies, and free supply of pilots are.
And whenever you want to get painted, just come by. (You are planning on joining the ranks as another secret weapon, right? I mean, how can you beat chocolate-coated boobies?)
reaches out and grabs a truffle out of Lurkmeister’s tray. MMMMMMMM. Those are really good, CJ!! Thanks!
Sorry all but I’m handing in my resignation.
Being a Puppy Walker is a full time job and … damn he needs to pee again, gotta go.
kisses and hugs
leechbabe
takes a truffle from the tray, muttering to himself
I didn’t think those were oreos. I know oreos, no matter how finely they’re crushed. Besides, this is a high-class operation, and Stiletto is too much of an artist to use cheap materials.
looks around and realizes that once again he has been given an administrative position. starts setting up his office space.
Okay, the file cabinet goes there, form boxes on the table there. I’ll bet I don’t get a staff, as usual. Well, I should have enough time to check the chocolate stock before the next wave of recruits gets in. Hey, is slip-and-slide two ready yet? And where’s that box of thongs?
checks out the supply area and sorts the uniforms by size. makes sure that all the other supplies are organized.
All right, people! All pilots to the inspection room. Ladies, form an orderly line for touch-ups if you want them.
::Staggers into LurkMeister’s office, dripping milk chocolate, with a large fragment of what used to be a 50-gallon drum sticking out of his flight helmet::
I think we need to find some new black market suppliers. Seems that last batch of chocolate was booby-trapped. (Ba-dum bum)
This may be our darkest hour. I suspect either the Evil Empire is paying our suppliers to betray us, or stofsky’s behind it. I say we sick monica on him, just to be safe.
::Salutes, cuts finger on shrapnel, sees blood::
::Collapses to floor::
WHAT!!!
First leechbabe resigns and now this!
looks around suspiciously
Has anybody seen stofsky? Everybody stay away from the chocolate supply area until we can get a bomb squad in there. And where did that last batch of chocolate come from?
*starts toward file cabinet to check records, then stops, looks down at skeezix. squats and tastes the milk chocolate. there was something about the taste…something he couldn’t quite identify… *
Somebody get a medic RIGHT NOW! Nobody dies on my watch.
mmmmmm definitely not oreos…
:swoon:
uh oh… trouble! i’ll go guard the door and make sure no bad guys get in. (puts on overalls, a cartoon t-shirt, and pigtails, grabbing some stuffed animals) i look like i’m 12, so if i stand outside and act cute and innocent, they won’t dare fight me away. oh, and maybe i’ll paint a nice happy mural on the outside wall… daisies and kittens and unicorns. then everyone will think this is a day care center instead of a RDA hideout. (prances outside and shuts the door. a moment later she runs back inside, swipes a few truffles, then leaves again.)
::puppy takes a whiz on the footpath outside::
Uhh sorry guys just taking the pup for a walk and thought I’d drop in and say hi. Well I’ll just be off, that mess outside should dry up soon enough. Bye
Alright. Since leechbabe is only dropping by long enough to leave us some puppy-piddle, and our erstwhile director Horseflesh appears to be on hiatus…I guess that leaves me in charge. First things first.
*jack-booted thugs drag a rather beaten and tired-looking stofsky into the room and hand-cuff him to a heavy steel-frame chair. *
Why hello there, stofsky…what’s a guy like you doing in a nice place like this?
Stiletto opens a steel briefcase that’s sitting on a nearby packing crate
I’ve been hearing rumors that you might have been responsible for that nasty chocolate explosion a little while ago. Is there any truth to that rumor? Have you betrayed our beloved RDA? Are you
working for Splutter?
hooks a lie-detector up to stofsky’s fingers.
Answer honestly, now. You don’t want us to be disappointed. I’d hate to have to hand you over to the ladies for punishment. I mean, monica is over there just waiting to get into my briefcase of goodies, here, and work you over.
grabs a truffle from the tray, and sits it in stofsky’s lap. Now if you behave, and tell us all about it, we can have you rehabilitated fairly quickly. But if you lie to us…glances at monica again. You really don’t want that, now do you?