The 19th SDMB Corps is here!! Join NOW!!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Good People of the Teeming Millions,

Some of us have organized under the 19th Straight Dope Message Board Corps with the declaration of Unrestricted War upon the following:

  1. 5
  2. 'N SYNC
  3. THE BACKSTREET BOYS
  4. 98 DEGREES
  5. CHRISTINA AGUILERA
  6. MANDY MOORE
  7. JESSICA SIPMSON
  8. B*WITCHED
  9. THE BAND
  10. HANSON
  11. BRITNEY SPEARS

The charge of war has been indicted under “Intellectual Genocide” and “Conspiracy to commit Intellectual Genocide”. We have organized, and the following dopers have answered the call -

Order of Battle: 18 July, 2000
Mr Tripler - Chief Prosecutor, Political Advisor, Maestro of the Madness

General Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor - Theater Commander 19th SDMB Corps (19 SDMB)

19th Corps Staff Officers
Colonel Arnold Winkelried - Director of Staff (DOS/19 SO)
Major Lurkernomore - Intelligence Officer, Sortie Generation(INTEL/19 SO)
Major Bucky - Military Security Police and POW Camp Commander (SP/19 SO)
** Lieutenant Little*Bit - Interrogations/POW Handler (IPH/SP/19 SO)
19th Air Combat Group
Colonel Falcon - Commander 19th Air Combat Group (19 AG)
Major KimKatt - Commander 19th Bomb Squadron (BS/19 AG)
** One Flock of Canadian Geese - Aircrew, 19th Bomb Squadron (BS/19 AG)

19th Ground Combat Group (19 GC)
Major SwimmingRiddles - Commander Alpha Company, Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (A/19 GC)
Major Donnie Rotten - Commander Echo Company, Mechanized Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (E/19 GC)
Major Magdalene - Commander Foxtrot Company, Heavy Weapons, 19th Battalion Landing Team (F/19 GC)
Major Myrr21 - *Golf Company, Armor (Amphib), 19th Battalion Landing Team (Golf/19 GC) *
Major Sledman - Commander Mike Company, Artillery, 19th Battalion Landing Team (M/19 GC)
Captain RedDragon60 - Commander Recon/Sniper Platoon (Recon /19 GC )
** Staff Sergeant Kiva - Recon/Sniper Team One (1/Recon/19 GC)
Captain Balance - Special Operations/Unconventional Warfare Officer (SW/19 GC)
** Secret Agent Dragwyr - Operator/Field Agent 001 (001/SW/19 GC)
** Secret Agent Iampunha - Operator/Field Agent 002 (002/SW/19 GC)
** Secret Agent Shay519 - Operator/Field Agent 519 (519/SW/19 GC)

19th Naval Combat Group
Captain (Naval) Amulet - Commander Naval Combat Group (19 NCG)
Lieutenant (Naval) Homer - Chief of Navel (get it?) Operations (CNO/19 NCG)
Please . . . Stand tall, and stand firm. Enlist now, and help us take on the tyranny and oppression that these ‘teenie boppers’ bring. Show your support!

CECIL WANTS YOU FOR THE FIGHTING 19th!!

Tripler
“Easy kids, there’s plenty of plastic explosives for everybody…”

2

I just want to be Secretary of Tuna

3

I see you don’t have a rear echelon commander. Mind if I fill the spot?

4

Order of Battle: 18 July, 2000
Mr Tripler - Chief Prosecutor, Political Advisor, Maestro of the Madness

General Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor - Theater Commander 19th SDMB Corps (19 SDMB)

19th Corps Staff Officers
Colonel Arnold Winkelried - Director of Staff (DOS/19 SO)
Major Lurkernomore - Intelligence Officer, Sortie Generation(INTEL/19 SO)
Major Bucky - Military Security Police and POW Camp Commander (SP/19 SO)
** Lieutenant Little*Bit - Interrogations/POW Handler (IPH/SP/19 SO)
19th Air Combat Group
Colonel Falcon - Commander 19th Air Combat Group (19 AG)
Major KimKatt - Commander 19th Bomb Squadron (BS/19 AG)
** One Flock of Canadian Geese - Aircrew, 19th Bomb Squadron (BS/19 AG)

19th Ground Combat Group (19 GC)
Major SwimmingRiddles - Commander Alpha Company, Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (A/19 GC)
Major Donnie Rotten - Commander Echo Company, Mechanized Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (E/19 GC)
Major Magdalene - Commander Foxtrot Company, Heavy Weapons, 19th Battalion Landing Team (F/19 GC)
Major Myrr21 - Golf Company, Armor (Amphib), 19th Battalion Landing Team (G/19 GC) *
Major Monster104 - * Hotel Company, Armor, 19th Battalion Landing Team (H/19 GC)
Major Sledman - Commander Mike Company, Artillery, 19th Battalion Landing Team (M/19 GC)
Captain RedDragon60 - Commander Recon/Sniper Platoon (Recon /19 GC )
** Staff Sergeant Kiva - Recon/Sniper Team One (1/Recon/19 GC)
Captain Balance - Special Operations/Unconventional Warfare Officer (SW/19 GC)
** Secret Agent Dragwyr - Operator/Field Agent 001 (001/SW/19 GC)
** Secret Agent Iampunha - Operator/Field Agent 002 (002/SW/19 GC)
** Secret Agent Shay519 - Operator/Field Agent 519 (519/SW/19 GC)

19th Naval Combat Group
Captain (Naval) Amulet - Commander Naval Combat Group (19 NCG)
Lieutenant (Naval) Homer - Chief of Navel (get it?) Operations (CNO/19 NCG)
Lt Commander Aha - Commander SSN Tuna Hunter (SSN/19 NGC)
New Recruits:
Major Monster104 - * Hotel Company, Armor, Flank Security/Rear Guard, (H/19 GC)*
Lt Commander Aha - Commander SSN Tuna Hunter (SSN/19 NGC) He gets under tuna and kills it.

5

Captain of the Sniper Corps, reporting for duty!

6

I’m there. I can engineer some feedback to start messing things up…“Well, Ms. Spears…looks like that solar storm is just wreaking all sorts of havoc with your mike there…”

Heh, heh, heh.

7

Retired USAF here. No I don’t wanna position. I wish to be a conscientious objector and anti-war activist, for a change.

:::unveiling Britney Spears T-shirt and matching lunch box:::

STOP THE UNRESTRICTED WARFARE ON BRITNEY AND CHRISTINA!!!

BRITNEY IS A NUCLEAR-FREE ZONE!! GIVE PIZZA CHANTS!!!

:::throwing overripe tomato at Herr Gruppenfuhrer Tripler:::

SIEG HEIL, CULTURE NAZI!!

:::thumbing nose at Colonel Falcon, waving peace sign:::

CAGE THE FALCON!! SEND HER BACK TO MALTA!!

:::throwing another tomato at Lieutenant Homer:::

HOMER THE DONKEY-PUNCHING WAR CRIMINAL!!!

Oh, shit. Is that tear gas?? Gotta run, bye. :smiley:

8

Captain red_dragon, Sir!
Staff Sergeant Kiva, Recon/Sniper Team One–with my brand new uzi–ready and awaiting orders.

While we’re waiting, can I smack the protesters around a little?

9

:::Looking at 19th SDMB Corps and hoping I get help:::

(In best Monty Python voice)

YOU DON’T FRIGHTEN US SDMB CORPS PIG-DOGS!!

NOW GO AWAY, OR I WILL TAUNT YOU A SECOND TIME!!

YOUR MOTHERS WERE ALL HAMSTERS AND YOUR FATHERS SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!!

10

You just have to love a lost cause. I’m with Bluepony

1, 2, 3, 4, WE WON’T FIGHT YOUR CULTURE WAR. (Repeat ad nauseum - should be about three times)

11

Need anybody shot? I’ll help. ::cinches up leg tie-downs on holsters::

12

Uh, Bluepony, why do images of Kent State University keep running through my mind?

13

Dorkbro,

Oh yeah, wear these…

:::hands Dorkbro armor made up of cooking utensils and trash can lids:::

::: Pushes cooler over :::

Hand me a beer will ya? Pissing off the Establishment is hot and dirty work! :smiley:

:::bends over an moons Kiva and the rest of 19th SDMB Corps sniper unit:::

HEY!! GET AN I.R. LOCK ON THIS!! :smiley:

14

Hey, thanks for the armor. Here’s your brew.

Now, I will just grab a bunch of daisys and start dropping them into that Uzi of Kiva’s.

15

EEEEUUUGH. I thought this was a non-violent protest. I think I’m going to be sick. Possibly in your beer cooler. <veg>

Hey, can I wing a couple of protesters? Please? I won’t kill 'em…promise.

16

I volunteer to whip all these brand new pansy-ass officers into shape.

17

Is that a promise, Chiefy?

18

If ever there was a time for this old chestnut …

MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR!!!

19

Ummm looks around cautiously then surreptuously helps Kevin Richardson to hide in her closet then making sure he is safe make her way to the recruitment office violin in hand I’m here to sign up sir! gives the Spaceballs salute

20

Well assuming that by “the band” you are refering to that inane TV show and not the people who backed up Dylan, I am willing to volunteer my services. I must note that having no college degree I do not qualify as a commisioned officer but would be willing to accept warrent officer status. I think that I would be most valuable “in the rear with the gear”. Perhaps Major Monster104 could use a dog robber?