Good people of the Teeming Millions, let us declare war . . .

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

In light of certain discussions on the MPSIMS and the GQs, I must raise a voice, and ask for ratification of the artices of war:

Be it resolved that:

-Miss Britney Spears has repeatedly subjected civilian populations to intense psychological warfare meant to demoralize and bankrupt the younger generations of the world . . .
-Has been suspected of approaching the Monarchy of the United Kingdom in an sublte and clandestine manner, with intent to extort and defraud . . .
-And has crossed international lines in her systematic attempts at intellectual genocide . . .

The Teeming Millions of the Straight Dope hereby issue this article to the ends that:

-A state of war be declared between the Teeming Millions of the Straight Dope and Miss Spears
-The Congress of the United States of America may strip Miss Britney Spears of her citizenship . . .
-The Government of the United States may deport her to the closest neutral nation for the duration of hostilities . . .
-That Miss Spears be placed under House Arrest for the duration of hostilities . . .
-And that Miss Spears be tried at the International Court of Justice at The Hauge, Netherlands on the charge of ‘Crimes Against Humanity’ . . .

And do promote and encourage the banishment of Miss Britney Spears from any and all public appearances until the 1st of August, 2030 for the preservation and security of all that we hold sacred. We hold these truth to be self evident in the public eye of the world, and do hereby indict Miss Britney Spears as a subversive War Criminal this 14th day of June, in the year 2000 AD.

Your affirmitive response to this article will qualify as your endorsement and ratification. Thank you.

2

Hear, hear! Let me be the first to join in the mob mentality!

And by the way, those last three words ** really ** took me by surprise.

3

Well, if we’re gonna do that, we’d also have to declare war on Christina Agulera (SP?), The Backstree Boys, N*Sync, and Mariah Carrey.

4

There I fixed your post! I just had to delete a few words and letters.

I must say THANK YOU! :slight_smile:

Osip

:wally

5

If the International Court of Justice deems that an appropriate punitive damage, then may you be the first to collect your awards. . .

Tripler

6

As an amendment to the previously stated articles of war, we further suggest that Miss Spears not be allowed to put forth, in any form, matter which is deemed as “music” or “teeny-bopper” material of any form. Failure to adhere to this policy shall result in sanction and/or censure in whatever form congress deems appropriate.

Articles of war are hereby suggested for:

5
'N SYNC
BACKSTREET BOYS
98 DEGREES
CHRISTINA AGUILERA
MANDY MOORE
JESSICA SIPMSON
B*WITCHED
THE BAND
HANSON

7

International court of justice? WHo do I have to bribe?
I promise to make sure she is aware of how bad she is :slight_smile: in fact I am going to start digging that pit under my house now!!!
Thanks in advance guys!

Osip

8

Iampunha, dont forget the Spice Girls (in any and all forms), Jennifer Lopez, and Ricky Martin!

9

:rushing to join the mob:

Jubei reporting for duty!! And I even brought torches!

10

I take this thread as a personal insult. Each and every one of you just named all my favorite singers. :rolleyes:

I vote that they all be moved to the “Survivor Island” where they have to vote someone off said island each day. The one who gets voted off is then to be placed in a boat, covered with blood, then dropped into the ocean. If said individual can swim to shore (roughly 10 miles away) before the sharks get them (or they drown), they may be freed to go home.

The last surviving “musician” is then awarded 500 million dollars after which I kill them and am given said winnings, which will be evenly split between all participants in the ramification of said war.

Thank you.

11

The Spice Girls and Ricky Martin are already so dead they wouldn’t last the trip to the island. Heck, New Kids on the Block haven’t done anything in years . . . Jennifer Lopez is done.

However, Enrique Iglesias . . . he’s still alive and his heart is beating, but he doesn’t play an instrument . . . however, he doesn’t shake his ass, either, so what do we do? What DO we DO?

12

Iampunha: I say we send him (Enrique Iglesias) too. Sure he doesn’t shake his ass or play an instrument, but if I have to hear his whinning, sniveling ass belt out “I just wanna be with you” I swear someone’s going to get it.

13

I agree, I even have the rope for the lynchings. Especially for the Hansons!!!

14

Silver_Fire, when you said:

I read it as

It’s been an odd morning.

15

In addition to the above articles, We, the people of the Teeming Millions do hereby indict the following on charges of ‘Conspiracy of Intellectual Genocide’:

  1. 5
  2. 'N SYNC
  3. THE BACKSTREET BOYS
  4. 98 DEGREES
  5. CHRISTINA AGUILERA
  6. MANDY MOORE
  7. JESSICA SIPMSON
  8. B*WITCHED
  9. THE BAND
  10. HANSON

We petition the International Court of Justice to bring these defendants to an international Tribunal, for a fair and speedy trial.
C’mon! We need more votes here people!!

16

[quote]
I vote that they all be moved to the “Survivor Island” . . . [\quote]

Ooooh, I like this idea, but how about a few suggestions:

No food. I like the idea of Britney trying to club a rat over the head to keep from starving to death.

No matches. Ricky Martin rubbing sticks for hours on end trying to get a flame is an amusing image.

It could turn out to be a “Lord of the Flies” thing, and maybe we’ll get to see a little “Alive” style cannibalism.

17

A good start May I then add 2 words: cruise missile…

18

Hey this is a war we are starting . . .

Maybe a TLAM-D or two with M86 submunitions, or perhaps a MLRS 277mm strike . . .

Tripler

19

I vote that we have General Norman Schwartzkoff head up the operation and start laying strategic plans for the systematic removal and/or control of the above stated parties.

Also, shall I start a draft lottery?

20

I’ve seen the name on some wallpaper and screen savers that the kids at work sneak onto the PCs…who is Britney Spears?