The Scene: The great SDMB Cabal sits solemnly in a black room lit with blood red candles. They are cross legged, sipping from heavy iron goblets (but it’s just Orangina, I mean, what are we here?) Overlord Master Cecilbangs a gavel and nods, sending Ed Zotti scurrying towards a podium with a smiling red goat carved into the front
Ed Zotti: The floor is now open. The Overlord recognizes the delegate from MPSIMS
Wildest Bill: I’m not going to lie here. I’m a little skittish, I’m a little…um…nervous. I mean, I’m not as smart as the rest of you guys, you know that. But I do have to say, aren’t you a little afraid? AFRAID of this ONE WORLD GOVERNMENT?
Manhattan: Bill, don’t make me come over there. I’m not even kidding.
Manhattan, Ben, DavidB, Czarcasm and an assorted group of thugs roll up their sleeves. Ed Zotti bangs the gavel again to restore order. Manhattan gives Bill ‘a look’ and they both sit. Esprix approaches the podium. To show support: goboy, matt_mcl and Hastur stand briefly, then sit
Esprix: It was my assignment for the past week to try and balance the budget for the Southeastern quadrant of Asia.
Astroboy quickly stands
Astroboy: Why you didn’t ask me, I’ll never know.
ChasE. quickly stands
ChasE: or me, for that matter. I’m something of an authority on all things Asian, including rice and rice preparation.
Zotti hits the gavel again and everyone but Esprix sits.
Esprix: As I was saying, this assignment was not completed, as I was distracted by a fantastic party that lead to a fantastic afterparty, if you know what I mean.
Goboy: Esprix…how YOU doin?
hoots and hollers from the crowd. Hamadryad stands
Hamadryad: Really now.
everyone quiets down. Duck Duck Goose stands
Duck Duck: Actually, I knew Esprix wouldn’t get that done, so I took it upon myself to do a quick Google search, and found these pages:
The Southeastern Asian Economy
Is The Asian Economic Crisis Over?
I mean, it only took .039 seconds to find.
Maeglin stands
Maeglin: I also found this ancient manuscript in my bathroom reading rack “The Future Expanded Conceptualization of Asian Theory and Practice of Economic Structures.” I’m sure you’ve all read it, but just in case, I have a copy.
Fenris: Actually, I’ve written a short parody song about Asia, if anyone would like to hear it.
Scylla: throwing down a spotless white glove A parody song indeed!
Ed Zotti: sensing the impending doom ENOUGH. The Asian Budget will be taken on by Duck Duck and Maeglin. Moving on. The most sexy master Cecil recognizes the delegate from The Agriculture Department, Scylla.
Scylla: I have a mild proposition. I propose that we drive all of the Amish off of our land. Damn kids! I’m really sick of being the delegate from the Agriculture Department, as a matter of fact. I’m about one second away from dropping all of this and becoming a professional runner.
Quadgop the Mercotan: Actually, running isn’t the best thing for your joints OR your back. Of course, consult with YOUR doctor, I’m just giving opinions.
Fenris: I actually have a short parody song about the Amish right here if you’d like to hear it.
the two begin wrassling
Scylla: Why you needlenosed barrelrider!
Coldfire stands
Coldfire: Direct insults, no matter how clever, are not allowed in the One World Government. Don’t do it again.
Techchick: I’m leaving this government! Just you watch.
Hamadryad: Fine! Go!
Teckchick and Hama begin wrassling. Superdude stands
Superdude: Alright! Chick wrassling!
Superdude, Jester, thinksnow, manservant Hecubus, Airman Doors, Chef Troy and assorted other boydopers jump up and down. Hamadryad stops wrassling
Hama: really now.
Everyone sits. Ed Zotti hits the gavel again.
Zotti: So, the agriculture department AND the southeastern Asian budgetary department aren’t working out. How about alternative energy sources?
Anthracite: covered.
Everyone claps, Ma Parrot huffs and crosses her arms
Ma Parrot: Why does everyone love Anthracite? Why do the overlords let her get away with everything while the proletariat suffers under this fascist regime?
Serlin, JDT, Farmer Oak, SexNazi and DITWD begin clapping quietly, in unison.
Ma Parrot One day! One day we will rise up and overthrow the One World Government!!! One day we will win the race!
Collunsbury waking up What was that?
Ed Zotti This meeting is officially in recess.
Tuba Diva Get out or you’re all banned.
Ms Robyn But don’t leave before you have something to eat!
The cabal breaks up: CrankyAsAnOldMan, Jarbaby and Magdalene try to organize a pubcrawl, but there are no takers, so they just go slug back ripple in the back of Jarbaby’s car
The End.
