Question - Who was the first liberal Democrat?
Answer - Christopher Columbus. He left not knowing where he was going, got there not knowing where he was, left not knowing where he’d been and did it all on borrowed money.
Conservatives are people who are too dumb to realize that helping one person help himself, and helping 10,000,000 people do so, are vastly different operations.
Liberals: people who think that the words “to promote the general welfare” in the Constitution mean to promote welfare generally.
Annoy a modern American liberal: Advocate liberty and call yourself a liberal.
Annoy a modern American conservative: Advocate liberty and call yourself a liberal.
Nah–the dude launched a major business operation at taxpayer expense and enslaved foreigners in order to line his own pockets. Classic Republican.
Daniel
Question: Who was the first conservative Republican?
Answer: Christopher Columbus. He hasn’t changed his beliefs in 500 years, and (a reference to the urban legend involving Queen Isabella), he got the capital for his ventures by screwing someone.
Not to mention when he was screwing everyone over, he claimed he was doing it in God’s name.
Daniel
Well, if he mentioned God at all, he couldn’t have been a liberal.
Regards,
Shodan
What do you get when you combine a conservative with an education and a basic level of human compassion?
A liberal.
Annoy everybody: claim you own the franchise on defining ‘liberty’.
Indeed: liberal Christians have read the parable of the rich man in the temple.
Daniel
Vote for the Liberals: It’s easier than working.
Vote for the Conservatives: It’s easier than thinking.
Vote for the Libertarians: It’s easier than casting meaningful ballot.
Vote for the Greens: It’s easier when you live in a shack built with your own hands without electricity or running water and eating all organic produce grown on a Government plot of land doled out for your personal use.
Wouldn’t it annoy them more to put a stupid sticker on their cars?
Conservatism: The idea that the government should stay the hell out of your personal life, so long as you are not gay, liberal, female, foreign, young, old, pro-choice, black, brown, yellow, paisley, a university professor, a student, use the library or internet, or receive food stamps or other public assistance.
Wow, you’re right. Instead of advocating liberty, I should be following your examples — calling people “too dumb to realize” things, and claiming to speak for everybody.
The person with this sticker is making a statement that liberals don’t believe in individual efforts to work hard and get ahead, and are always miserable and complaining about something.
As opposed to all the joyful, industrious conservatives picketing Terry Schiavo’s hospice.
Vote Republican – It’s Easier Than Thinking!
“Conservatives are people who teach the value of prudence but are incapable of exercising any” - David Brooks
Liberalism: We don’t know what’s wrong with the country, but we can fix it.
Conservatism: There’s nothing wrong with the country, but we can fix that.
Per P.J. O’Roarke, approximately.
11811
“The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative.”
Edward Abbey