Annoying friend who is clueless...(kind of long)

I’m not sure if this should be in GQ or what…

But I need some advice…

I met this particular person last year on a message board. We met on a board for women who have had a pregnancy loss. We discovered we’re both from the same city. We met face to face in May.

I have tried to hold conversations with her, tried to find some common place other than our miscarriages, and I cannot. It’s basically a one- sided conversation, complaining about her (married 5 times) white trash husband who’s holding 3 different jobs and that he’s never home.

When I have met her for lunch…I find myself becoming very quiet and withdrawn. It’s like she sucks my energy from me and I have nothing to say to her.

I feel bad blowing her off…and have been blowing her off since November.

I am not a bad person. But there is no commonality in our conversations or lives! I’ve struggled with this all last summer and fall and finally talked with my husband about it. He said he “had her number” from the minute he met her (pushy, annoying, etc.)

She’s pushy, uneducated, annoying, clueless and …

And by uneducated, I’m referring to her lack of knowledge to the world around her (i.e. She did not know what Fortune magazine was is just one of the things I was amazed at.)

She’s the type of person who thinks, just because we’ve both had a loss, that we’re “best buddies” :rolleyes:

I’ve refrained from emailing her, and still manage to reply to her annoying posts on a private message board that she is a part of.

(A few of us ladies on a preg. loss board formed our own private group and have become quite close-- except with “you know who”.-- and yes, other’s have picked up on her annoyances.)

Well, I sent an email to her (regarding a post on another SDM board referring to ‘stopping annoying chain emails’). Yet again, she continues to subject me to these annoying, superstitious emails.

She then gets all excited and emails me back how she can stop by this weekend when she drives by her mom’s house and drop something off.

WTF!?!??!?! She did not even ask me if she could stop by!! She lives 1/2 hr across town and her parents live no where near us!

UGH! I immediately replied we were not going to be home Sat. and Sunday we were going to the art museum.

She then insisted on that she can drop off my Xmas present at our back door. My hubby said he will take care of her and just tell her I’m sick and in bed (I’m prego now @ 11.5 weeks).

Any suggestions? Other than just telling her to leave me alone?!

Please don’t pit me…I’m not a bad person, but I think life is too short to be spent with annoying people who are energy suckers.

As long as you never were close with her, it probably won’t be hard to break it to her that you aren’t good friends and aren’t interested in forging a relationship with her anymore. It’s hard with someone you knew and loved, but grew away from. You don’t have to be mean…just tell her that you appreciate the support she offered during your difficult time, but that you think the relationship has run its course. Wish her well and blah blah blah. You’ll be glad you did. Maybe you can keep her on your holiday card list.

Siemsi, I can relate somewhat. I have a friend from high school for whom everything seems to go wrong, and I don’t know what to say to her sometimes. I just get sort of depressed talking to her. I don’t have the heart to tell her that we’ve obviously grown in different directions, so mostly I just kind of dodge her. Fortunately for me, she doesn’t live in the area so I don’t have to worry about drop-ins or anything.

I don’t think you’re a bad person for wanting to get rid of her, but you’re not going to find an easy way to do it. People like her don’t get hints, so you’re probably just going to have to bite the bullet. Sorry, and good luck. (And congrats on the pregnancy!)

I again can sympathise. I’m in a similar situation to Gundy’s. One of my friend’s from high school always seems to have everything go wrong for her, to the extent that she’s turned into a whiny, needy, clingy so and so. She’ll email me at 8:30 in the morning, when I get into the office, and the emails won’t stop till I leave (this is often later than 7pm). If I don’t answer one email, I get another asking where I am, and why don’t I want to talk. Scariest thing is - she’s rather well educated (she’s doing a PhD herself), but she can’t get a hint. You would have thought my saying “I have lots of work to do, I’ll talk to you later” would do the trick. But it doesn’t.

In short, Siemsi, its going to be tough, but you’re going to have to say something, or else lose whatever sanity you may still have.

Oh, and congrats!

Thanks, guys for the advice and congrats…:slight_smile:

Yes. I think I’ll have to do something soon.