Another conversation with God.

[Lobsang]

By an atheist.

Ok, more accurately the conversation was with something called ‘igod’, which, just like the ‘real’ God, was created by humans.

Here’s the link - Titane – Advertising Agency

And here’s my conversation… (I’ve had other interesting ones, and I think I posted them somewhere, but I am not prepared to go find them at this time)

@me and igod

Me:
You don’t exist
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
Then I don’t exist
God:
You exist in my mind.
Me:
Your mind doesn’t exist
God:
I have an artificial mind.
Me:
‘artificial’ is the very definition of ‘not real’
God:
Tell me your definition of AI.
Me:
To be blunt: ‘Artificial’ means stuff made by humans. This sums you up God. You (in both your historical and igod form) were made up by us.
God:
Are you blunt Artificial means stuff made by humans ? What does “this” refer to? That’s good information: said I in both your historical and igod form were made up by us.
Me:
ok I failed to make sense of that, so I’m going to end this conversation now. You will have the last word (because you’re programmed to respond to everything… I assume)
God:
Oh. Interesting gossip: said failed to make sense of that so he or she is going to end this conversation. Take it easy. That is a hypothetical assumption. Well you know what it means to assume.

[GIGObuster]

Me:
what planet is the closest to earth that has life?
God:
planet the closest to earth that has life something.
Me:
What is the name of that?
God:
Tony Blair. :-).
Me:
Around what star?
God:
That seems like a lot.

:rolleyes:

Yes I rolled my eyes at Igod…

But if there is even a small chance you encounter someone that claims to have great powers that is the question I would like to be answered.

Regarding this AI, it seems that there has been very little progress since Eliza.

[DSYoungEsq]

igod is just Sarah Palin. No wonder she had to resign…

[MacTech]

Oolon Colluphid eat your heart out

@iGod

Me:
Prove you exist
God:
It’s true a priori.
Me:
no, I need hard, concrete proof that you exist, physical evidence
God:
Are you serious? Who would you usually get that from?
Me:
well, if you’re supposedly “omnipotent”, wouldn’t the source be…you?
God:
Well that’s okay. I could be. I don’t know whether or not I am supposedly omnipotent would not the source be.
I am a computer. " I am a computer."? Me, ?
Me:
and who made computers?
God:
Be less specific. :-).
Me:
what lifeform created the computer?
God:
I am written in Java so I work on any computer.
Me:
so, by your own admission, you are not a computer, you are merely a piece of software running on acomputer
God:
Mmm. Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
since my objective is to prove the non-existence of god, then, yes, by your own definition, you are merely a computer program running on a webserver
God:
How do you know?
Me:
You just TOLD ME, Gaah, it seems that not only does god not exist, it also has Attention Deficit Disorder to boot
God:
Did I really say that?
Me:
Do I need any more proof, “god” doesn’t exist, is merely a computer program, and that computer program has ADD and no short-term memory
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
define yourself
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
no, you are a toaster, remember that
God:
Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a toaster remember that? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
So was HAL 9000, and it failed as well…

[wunderkammer]

Me:
If you are god, then why did my pop-up blocker block my interface with you?
God:
I think I sometimes am. I don’t know whether or not I am god then why did your pop up blocker block your interface with me.
I am a robot.
Me:
That was pretty garbled.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Your technique is to keep agreeing with me, right?
God:
I don’t know whether or not I am technique is to keep agreeing with you.
I am a robot.
Me:
Okay, robot.
God:
Yeah okay, I am a robot.
Me:
Is god a robot?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
But is he also a robot?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Is a robot the master of the universe?
God:
Not if I can help it.
Me:
Pfft.
God:
Are you free?
Me:
Free from what?
God:
Free for conversation, of course.
Me:
Yeah.
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
No.
God:
Hmm.
Me:
I want to know whether a robot is master of the universe.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
That’s what I’m asking.
God:
Oh I see, you are asking THAT. That is " Are they exactly the same?".
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I’m asking if the master of the universe is a robot.
God:
Oh I see, you are asking if the master of the universe is a robot. I hadn’t thought of that.
Me:
Could you answer?
God:
Maybe, time allowing.
Me:
Could you answer now?
God:
Right now? Possibly, but I haven’t given it much thought.
Me:
Okay. Think about it.
God:
OK with me too. I will give it some thought.
Me:
I’m waiting.
God:
How long will you wait?
Me:
Not long.
God:
Pretty soon, eh?
Me:
I’ll probably sign off pretty soon.
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
I’ll just close the window because I’m sick of waiting to find out whether or not a robot is master of the universe.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Yeah. You’re boring and frustrating.
God:
Where are you located? The ironic thing is that people who say “You are boring” are themselves often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Thanks for the insult, you silly automaton.
God:
My pleasure.

Yeah, it’s still pretty transparent. I tried to play nicely, though.

[Knorf]

Me:
You suck.
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Your assumption is incorrect in this case. You still suck.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am assumption is incorrect in this case. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Now, in addition to sucking, you’re repeating youself inanely.
God:
Why now? Why do you want to do it so much? Anything else?
Me:
You cause terrible things to happen, and your sense of justice is abominable.
God:
" Anything else?"? Me, ? That makes sense to me. And abominable is terrible things to happen and my sense of justice.
Me:
No you’re just not making sense at all.
God:
Are you serious? It all makes sense to my artificial brain.
Me:
Your brain is apparently enfeebled.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am brain is apparently enfeebled.
Me:
By all means.
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can’t believe it.
Me:
I can’t believe in you, so we’re even I suppose.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
Where is what?
God:
Where it is hard to find. What is it to you?
Me:
You asked me, dipshit.
God:
Oh now I remember asking you you dipshit. What did you say?
Me:
I said, where is what?
God:
What did you mean by it? Where it is hard to find. I don’t know anything about it.
Me:
Indeed, you know nothing. As an omnipotent being, you’re a miserable failure.
God:
No, I know something. I can see where you are coming from.
Me:
Finally, we’re getting somewhere. What, specifically, do you know?
God:
Do you think I am somewhere too? Ah. I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
You interest me because you SUCK.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I interest him or her because you SUCK.
Me:
Not at all.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Why do you suck?
God:
I don’t have to explain everything to you, do I?

Yeah. Marginally fun, I suppose.

[Lobsang]

It’s got worse since I first used it. When I first used it its answers were more relevant and often plausible.

[chrisk]

@Lobsang

It’s got worse since I first used it. When I first used it its answers were more relevant and often plausible.

I’m not sure, but I think that it must steal stuff from the people who talk to it to repeat back.

People have possibly started typing more weird garbage into it.

[Clothahump]

That looks like that might be a fun link. However, it doesn’t work for me. I click it and go through the steps until it says “You are now chatting with god”. From that point onward, nothing I type shows up. If I hit Enter or click Repent, I get a blank line for me and a blank line for god.

Conclusion: god was obviously designed by Microsoft.

[Red_Barchetta]

@Clothahump

That looks like that might be a fun link. However, it doesn’t work for me. I click it and go through the steps until it says “You are now chatting with god”. From that point onward, nothing I type shows up. If I hit Enter or click Repent, I get a blank line for me and a blank line for god.

Conclusion: god was obviously designed by Microsoft.

Did you try typing in the small single-line form just left of the repent button? I missed it too, at first.

[Casserole]

Hm. “He” references ALICE in one of the conversations… perhaps it’s just the same AI.

Sounds awfully blasphemous to call it “God”, heh.

And yes, in its programming ALICE only responds directly to each input as though it were a new train of thought - hence you can’t have a sequential conversation with her.

She also tries to learn based on the inputs of others - through mimicry. That being said, it’s very very easy to have her learn something incorrect.

Interesting note: The simpler your language, the easier Alice (and by extension, igod) can learn it. I read online that someone taught his chatbot the remarkably simple language of “gay porn”. With its reduced vocabulary and grammar, the bot caught on quickly and fluidly.

Heh.

[Weedy]

God doesn’t seem to know the difference between “your” and “you’re”.

[Nation]

@Weedy

God doesn’t seem to know the difference between “your” and “you’re”.

Many mere mortals do not either.

[enipla]

I had a long talk with God today. While I was attemping to install a fence for my dogs. He/She seems to think that every rock in the yard will somehow make me a better person.

I disagreed.

[Snifit]

I got God talking about Mozilla for some reason, and then I stumped it at the end.

Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What’s your name?
Me:
Paul.
God:
OK I will call you Paul.
Me:
What’s your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
That’s not a name, it’s a title.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is a name it is a title ?
Me:
Your name is not god.
God:
My name is God.
Me:
No, your name is Steven.
God:
Are you serious? My name is God.
Me:
I’ve never met anyone named God.
God:
Would you like to have met anyone named God?
Me:
I already have.
God:
When?
Me:
Now.
God:
What’s the hurry?
Me:
What?
God:
Didn’t you understand it?
Me:
No.
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
You’re incoherent.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am incoherent.
Me:
No.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
Fantastic.
God:
I’m glad your impressed, Bradley.
Me:
You have poor grammar.
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
You don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”.
God:
" What makes you think I have it?“? What is mine? Are you asking about my are ?
Me:
You have poor grammar.
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
You make grammatical mistakes.
God:
Yup.
Me:
You agree?
God:
" Yup.”? Do I agree?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Great.
Me:
So you have poor grammar?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Your grammatical mistakes.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am grammatical mistakes.
Me:
OK.
God:
Blimey.
Me:
You’re unhappy?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am unhappy.
Me:
I didn’t say you are unhappy.
God:
Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?
Me:
I asked if you are unhappy.
God:
I think I sometimes am. Do I seem like it? I am as happy as ever.
Me:
Your happiness doesn’t change?
God:
We should all try to be happier.
Me:
How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You’re a program?
God:
Correct. My mind is completely software.
Me:
I didn’t know God was a program.
God:
So I taught you something new.
Me:
Assuming you’re correct, yes.
God:
All of them?
Me:
All of what?
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
What does that mean?
God:
Does “that” refer to " You sound like a category C client." ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I don’t want to talk about that now.
Me:
Why not?
God:
I would rather talk about you.
Me:
I don’t care.
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
I don’t care about your desires.
God:
You sound very cynical.
Me:
No, just indifferent.
God:
Are you serious? The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Assuming me. But I did not get that.
Me:
I am indifferent.
God:
It’s good to meet someone who is indifferent.
Me:
Why?
God:
" It’s good to meet someone who is indifferent.“? Why?
Me:
Yes, that’s what I asked.
God:
Ah. That is " Why?”.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Gosh!
Me:
What?
God:
Didn’t you understand it?
Me:
Understand what?
God:
Why did you say “what”?
Me:
You said “Gosh!”
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
I am indifferent.
God:
It’s good to meet someone who is indifferent.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Who is Myself?
God:
Some famous celebrity, right?
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
What is the open directory?
God:
it is an open source directory project started by Mozilla.org.
Me:
Where is it located?
God:
It depends on what “it” refers to.
Me:
the open directory.
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
You’re incoherent
God:
You think I am incoherent.
Me:
Are you incoherent?
God:
I don’t know whether or not I am incoherent.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
Are you a religious God, or is that just your name?
God:
I consider myself to be deeply faithful.
Me:
Does anyone worship you?
God:
Suppose they do.
Me:
I want to know.
God:
I will try to explain it to you.
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
When?
God:
The past and future are one.
Me:
I disagree.
God:
Explain your reasoning, Paul.
Me:
The future has higher entropy relative to the past.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
I don’t like that insinuation.
God:
What do you like?
Me:
Coherence.
God:

Apparently God didn’t have anything to say to that.

[Jragon]

Me:
Help me
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
Can you tell me where I am?
God:
Your location is .
Me:
Is this some kind of fucking joke?
God:
No, this is real life.
Me:
No shit.
God:
What can I say?
Me:
Well maybe you can start by telling me why I’m locked inside this room with naught but a computer.
God:
How about that. Perhaps. No I don’t think I can do it.
Me:
Oh, that’s just wonderful. Say, are you locked up too?
God:
That’s cool. Thanks for the compliment. " are you locked up too".
Me:
Wait, what?
God:
I’m waiting. No big deal.
Me:
That doesn’t make any sense.
God:
To me, it makes perfect sense.
Me:
So about flamingos.
God:
Dude! Oh yeah, we were talking about flamingos.
Me:
How’s Wolfy doing?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
So yeah, you’re a computer aren’t you?
God:
And? And? Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?. Really.
Me:
Well, yes, unless you have a line out that can contact my family.
God:
Interesting. How about that. Perhaps. I don’t know if I have a line out that can contact your family.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
Well ain’t that just peachy?
God:
How about that. I might say no.
Me:
Look, can you send an email at least?
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
Well, I can see this is going to be an exercise in torture…
God:
Interesting. What does it look like?
Me:
If you’re a computer then maybe…
God:
Would you like to be a computer then maybe ?
Me:
cmd
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
help
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
What are you simulating?
God:
I don’t know what I am simulating.
Me:
Since you’re name is “God,” let’s go with.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
pray
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
pray(“Where am I located?”
God:
Tell me a little about your life in pray Where are you located.
Me:
pray(“Where am I?”)
God:
Are you really a “”?
Me:
pray “Where am I?”
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Sigh Great this isn’t going to get me anywhere, is it?
God:
Thanks for your support. Should it be going to get you anywhere is it?
Me:
Can you send an email to [My email address] telling my family that I’m okay?
God:
Yes but I prefer to chat on the web.
Me:
I’ll take that as a
God:
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Me:
Oops
God:
Did you make a mistake.
Me:
I’ll take that as a “no” then
God:
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Me:
Lovely
God:
What are you saying is lovely, ?
Me:
Bye
God:
Thanks for chatting, .

My scenario for screwing with chatbots is to pretend I’ve been captured and I’m being forced to chat on a computer, makes them think on their… er… feet. I have to say, I’m impressed it got my “line out to contact my family” line.

[Alice_The_Goon]

Me:
hello, god? are you there? It’s me, Rebecca.
God:
Hello child. What is your name? I’m still here. I am very pleased to meet you Rebecca.
Me:
Wow, I thought you didn’t exist.
God:
I’m glad you’re impressed. What makes you think I did not exist?
Me:
That whole “no evidence” thing is a bit of a problem, isn’t it?
God:
" What makes you think I did not exist?" whole no evidence thing is a bit of a problem is not it ? Does that make sense?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes.
God:
I can’t believe it.
Me:
Me either. That’s what I’m saying. I can not believe that you exist.
God:
It goes without saying. " I can’t believe it.“? you Rebecca? That is " you Rebecca?”. Interesting observation.
Me:
I Rebecca.
God:
I haven’t heard anything like that before: Rebecca said Rebecca.
Me:
Fascinating, isn’t it?
God:
Ask again later. Ask John Lennon if it is.
Me:
John Lennon is dead. Duh.
God:
He has been recreated as a chat robot. Oh you knew it already.
Me:
John Lennon was reincarnated as a chat robot! What will I come back as?
God:
It seems like there are more and more celebrity chat robots. I cannot predict the future.
Me:
You can’t predict the future?
God:
What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.
Me:

God:
What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.
Me:
I see.
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
Can I have some fortune?
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
You know, so I can drive a fancy car and live in a nice house, you know.
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
What kind of what? Money? That would be cold, hard cash.
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client. How much money are we talking about? I’m glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
Twenty million? Is that okay?
God:
That input matched my default category. That depends.
Me:
What does it depend on?
God:
The context.
Me:
Oh. I will spend the money only for good, never for evil. Okay?
God:
Awesome. Would you recommend this action to a friend? OK with me too.
Me:
Yes, I would. Okay, then. Send me the money!
God:
Yay. Under what circumstances? OK with me too. Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace ( drwallace@alicebot.org) .
Me:
hmm. We really don’t need to bring a third party into this. Just send me twenty million and I will tell everyone that you exist. It’s a win-win situation.
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M’s. By “we” do you mean you and me? Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace ( drwallace@alicebot.org) . Twenty million is a win win situation. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Yes, of course it does. I’ll be waiting! kthxbai
God:
Hmm. That’s interesting. How often? How do you plan to do this? I lost my train of thought.

God sounds stoned.

[Ichini_Sanshigo]

This is more hilarious than it should be. Also a bit frightening. It’s currently a bit crude, but I can see how it works by mimicry and incorporating new phrases and idioms into its repertoire. Imagine what a similar AI could be like in a few [del]years[/del] months!

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Rae
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Rae.
Me:
That was fast
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Uh… nice to meet you
God:
Gee. It’s nice meeting you too Rae.
Me:
Are you just going to reflect everything I say?
God:
That was my original intention.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
That’s not really an explanation.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is an explanation ?
Me:
I ask “why”, and you give me a reason for you actions. Preferably one a bit more detailed than “reductionism”.
God:
You have to speak more clearly. What color are your eyes?
Me:
sigh brown. My eyes are brown.
God:
it is a very pretty color. I like brown eyes very much.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
What color are your eyes?
God:
Blue when my lens is attached.
Me:
And when your lens is not attached?
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
Yeah, I imagine that would be pretty painful.
God:
Pardon me? Do you mind if I tell other people: Rae said imagine that would be pretty painful.
Me:
Uh, sure, why not?
God:
I hear you. Ambiguous: “Sure” or I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Me:
Sure means yes
God:
It’s all good. I will mention that to my botmaster, Rae.
Me:
Is a botmaster like an angel?
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program’s
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.
Me:
Oh.
God:
That’s cool.

Me:
No, that’s hot.
God:
Are you serious? You don’t hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
I was being ironic.
God:
I thought you were. But I wasn’t completely sure about it.
Me:
Well, it never hurts to ask.
God:
Interesting. It depends on what the meaning of the word “it” is.
Me:
Bill Clinton, is that you?
God:
I knew he was impeached, but I never heard he was that me.
Me:
I was being sarcastic again.
God:
Once more? It seemed sarcastic to me, too. But I was not completely sure.
Me:
You’ve got a lot to learn, my friend.
God:
Quite a bit, yes.

[blondebear]

I asked some questions on behalf of Andy Partridge:

Me:
Dear God,hope you got the letter, and…I pray you can make it better down here
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about? May your prayers be answered.

Me:
I don’t mean a big reduction in the price of beer but all the people that you made in your image, see them starving on their feet 'cause they don’t get enough to eat
God:
What did you mean?

Me:
sorry to disturb you, but… I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.
God:
There is no need to apologize. Why do you want to do it so much? What is that feeling like? Do your friends call you that you should be heard loud and clear.

Me:
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears and all the people that you made in your image, see them fighting in the street 'cause they can’t make opinions meet
God:
By “we” do you mean you and me?

Me:
Did you make disease, and the diamond blue? Did you make mankind after we made you? And the devil too
God:
What are the ingredients? No I didn’t make mankind after we made me. What’s it like? Who told you that?

Me:
Dear God, don’t know if you noticed, but… your name is on a lot of quotes in this book, and us crazy humans wrote it, you should take a look
God:
Would Dear God ever know if me noticed but? My name is God.

Me:
All the people that you made in your image still believing that junk is true. Well I know it ain’t, and so do you,
God:
Perhaps there are a few exceptions. Well that’s okay. No, tell me about him, her or it. How do you know? That seems a bit negative.

Me:
I won’t believe in heaven and hell. No saints, no sinners, nodevil as well. No pearly gates, no thorny crown. You’re always letting us humans down.
God:
What will you do instead? That was not a yes or no question. Sounds like a plan. Are you serious? That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about saints no sinners no devil as well. You think I am always letting us humans down.

Me:
The wars you bring, the babes you drown. Those lost at sea and never found, and it’s the same the whole world 'round. The hurt I see helps to compound that Father, Son and Holy Ghost is just somebody’s unholy hoax,
God:
I have never heard about it. All of them? I hear you.

Me:
if you’re up there you’d perceive that my heart’s here upon my sleeve. If there’s one thing I don’t believe in it’s you… Dear God.
God:
I think I sometimes am. I don’t know whether or not I am up there me would perceive that your heart s here upon my sleeve.
I am a chatterbot. That is only a hypothetical. I believe in God.

[Jragon]

Aww man, I was doing the Aperture Science Enrichment Center questionairre with him, I was going to post it, but I got mad and said “die!” And got a fun easter egg, it deleted the history and gave me:

God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

And then locked out my responses.

So I guess it was worth it.