In the begining there was this thread.. Then there was this thread. Now to complete the triology…
For those who don’t want to wade through the other two threads, I met a girl online. We had a date that went well. We had a second date that also went well. Nothing too serious but some kissing, hand holding, that kind of stuff, agreed to go out again. I really like this woman. A couple days later she informed me that a guy she had liked for a while saw us on the second date and he then decided to tell her that he really dug her and wanted to have a relationship with her. So she just wanted to be friends with me. So, being reasonable I said ok but told her that I really do like her. We then went out to lunch a couple days later, we had already agreed on it, and wandered around after lunch for a while. She held my hand, put her arm around me and generally acted like it was more than friendship. We didn’t kiss. I was confused. Also note, I am just getting back into the dating scene. I am a recovering alkie and haven’t dated since I got sober.
So now I am cooking dinner for her at my place on Friday. She asked when I was going to cook for her and I offered to do it this Friday*. She said ok, arranged for someone to watch her daughter and she is coming over and I have no idea what to expect.
I am one very confused boy at this point. I imagine that we will have a discussion on Friday, depending on how it goes. If it goes the way I think it will (read kissing and such), it should be an interesing discussion. Basically “Are we dating or not?”.
In the mean time, I’ve been talking to other women because I don’t know what the heck is going to happen with this woman. I have been talking to another woman** I am totally interested in going on a date with. She is smoking hot, comes across as very smart (which, incidently is more important that the smoking hot part though the hot part does not hurt at all) and seems to have it together. Did I mention that she is seriously hot?
Life is suddenly getting interesting.
Slee
*I didn’t expect her to agree. Actually, I didn’t know what to expect, which is probably a bad thing.
By typing this sentence you already put more effort into this chick than you’ll ever see back. Many people have a back-up plan, but most of us are too considerate to mention it to the plan. She’s disrespected you way beyond the boundaries of what is tolerable.
Cancel. Why would you do a boyfriend thing for someone that doesn’t want you for a boyfriend?
As Grossbottom said, you already have put far too much into this for no returns. What she did to you was way uncool. She basically implied that she’d date you if nothing better comes along. Way uncool.
You want to be a boyfriend to her and she doesn’t want to return your feelings, find someone who does. The longer you hang on to this woman, the more grief you will feel, and the more she will realize that you’re a patsy.
Stand your ground and have respect for yourself. I was going to say something about fish in the sea, but I think you get the idea.
As I’ve said before, for every smoking hot woman bar none – somewhere – there is a man that’s sick of her crap.
I am not so sure what she did was purposely uncool. I wasn’t all that overjoyed at the news but she was honest about it which is a good thing. I can also understand where she is coming from, having been in similar situations before, on all three sides. Things can get complicated even when you don’t want them to.
We’ll see what happens. In any case, if it doesn’t work out the way I want I think I can be cool with just being friends. She is a great person. If all she ends up wanting is to be friends then I’ll see if I can do that. If not, well, I’ll just move on.
About dinner, I had already made the offer to cook for her before any of this got complicated and I am not going to back out.
I am waiting to talk to her about this on Friday. We’ll see what happens. If it is clear to me that we are just doing the friend thing I’ll leave it alone. If, on the other hand, it is a date then I’ll have a talk with her.