Dr. Laura’s phone was busy ;), so…
When my grandmother died, she willed various artifacts (she had quite the extensive collection) of hers to myself, my brother, and our cousin (Grandma’s other grandchild). One of the artifacts she willed to me was a bit of football memorabilia dating back to the 1920’s.
Now, as everything was being distributed, my grandfather had a brilliant :rolleyes: idea. Since my brother is a bigger football fan than I am, he should get the football memorabilia and I should get something else. So Grandpa just gave my brother the piece and gave me one of Grandma’s rings.
So here’s the dilemma: by selling that piece, I could easily solve most of my financial problems and take Mrs. Rastahomie on a nice cruise. Hell, could split the profits up 3 ways (between the 3 grandkids) and still come out with a tidy sum. So, should I ask my brother to give it to me, as it’s legally mine, or should I just let sleeping dogs lie?
Tell gramps that your brother may keep the football nicknack if you recieve something that has equal financial value. He has no legal right to go against your your grandmother’s last will, and he certainly has no moral right to do so.
OK, here’s what we’ll do. I’ll round up some of my peeps. You get directions to you brother’s house, with a floor plan. Then sometime after midnight, we’ll meet at your house. Here’s the plan.
00:30 meet at your pad (home base) dressed in all black.
00:35 Whiskey shots to bolster nerve.
00:36 assemble paraphernalia (rope, suction cups for walking on side of building, utility belt)
00:53 Whiskey shots to bolster nerve.
00:54 Go over floor plan.
01:02 Whiskey shots to bolster nerve.
01:03 Plan path within house
01:17 Whiskey shots to bolster nerve.
01:18 Assign tasks to key personnell (lookout, driver, etc.)
01:38 Whiskey shots to bolster nerve.
01:39 Plan driving route to brother’s house.
01:58 Whiskey shots to bolster nerve.
01:59 Recall Morning Movie on channel 54. start watching.
02:26 Toss whiz during commercial break.
02:31 Whiskey shots to bolster nerve.
04:02 Major whiz break.
You start rounding up some people on your end and I’ll start reviewing this plan. I think it may need some work.
there’s a difference to me between an heirloom worth $$ and one for sentiment. Now, seems to me what grandpa was thinking is that the football thing (whatever it was), would have been kept in the family as in “gee, where’dya get that neato thing- why from gramma of course, why I remember…”. I doubt that he was looking at the items bequethed and translating them to dollars.
IMO, inheritances cause more troubles for families than just about anything else. No matter what happens with them, it seems someone is left feeling slighted and ripped off. You have my sympathies for being placed in this position; my only advice would be to tread carefully whatever you decide to do. This area is loaded with landmines.
(Usual disclaimer – I am not a lawyer, but I’ve had both parents and all four grandparents die and I’ve seen family squabbles over a manicure kit.)
When you say your grandmother “willed” you those items, please be specific.
In a signed and witnessed document legally regarded as a Last Will and Testament, did your grandmother specifically state that each relative would get the items she listed out?
Or did your grandmother write out a list of what everyone should get but not put it in a will?
Or did she simply tell eveyone who would get what?
If you want to contest this legally, you’d best have a copy of the will. Otherwise, all the items your grandmother owned would most likely (laws vary by state) pass over to your grandfather as her immediate next of kin. Legally, they would be his to do with as he sees fit.
If you have a list that was written out by your grandmother, and your grandfather is making substitutions right and left, you and the other affected members of your family have a fairly strong moral ground to go to gramps and ask him to knock it off.
However, if it was “understood” that you would get this and someone else would get that, it sounds like your grandfather is working off sentiment more than economics. And “understandings” don’t hold up too well in probate court.
Need more information. What does your brother think of this? What are his plans regarding said piece of memorabilia? Will he treasure it forever? Hock it at the first opportunity and use the dough to take his significant other to the Bahamas? Can you work something out with him?
Thanks for the advice so far. To answer some of the questions raised so far…
kunilou It’s specifically written in the will that I should get the item in question. I could fax you a copy…
Podkayne My brother has the artifact in question proudly displayed on his dresser drawer right now, with his own football memorabilia from high school. I think we can safely assume he’s in the “treasure it forever” school.
The piece in question is a ticket to an Illinois vs. Michigan football game from 1920(?), autographed by Red Grange. It’s the big game that he’s famous for, where he ran some 100,000 yards or something.
Hmmm. . . Well, then, maybe this is a little school-marmish, but if your brother really loves it, maybe you should be the Big Man and let him have it. You say you have the legal right to it, but it will probably put a rift between you and your brother (and maybe the rest of your family) if you fight for it. Would your grandmother be happier knowing that it was bringing joy to your brother every time he looks at it, or knowing that you sold it for a lot of money? (Maybe the latter, given what you call your financial problems–I dunno; you know your grams better than me.)
I mean, it’s your call, clearly, but my advice, for what it’s worth, take the high road and let it go.
I tend to agree with Podkayne on this; you’re looking at serious problems if you insist the item is rightfully yours (though it is), then turn around and sell it.
But look at it this way: would you include your future inheritance in your financial planning? Of course not. You’re not going to count on a family member’s death.
So if inheritance is separate from financial planning, don’t look at yours as a lost opportunity to clear up your financial problems. Instead, continue with whatever plan you already had to clear your debts and to go on that cruise. And cherish the inheritence you did get for what it is: in memory of your grandmother.
Simply mention to your bro that it was willed to you, and you really want to do exactly what Gramma wanted. Do not mention anything about “value” or “selling” or “cruises”. Just, very politely, ask for it.
I think that if you make a point of saying that technically the artifact is yours and then you turn around and sell it, your financial troubles may be solved, but your family troubles will just begin, and you can’t put a price on that.
I would look into getting the ring appraised as well.
Something else to consider - I know how it is having debt and such, but there could be a time in the future when either you or your brother might really need that money (the money you could get for the artifact)- such as for illness, etc. At that point, he would probably feel very differently about it.
