I’m fretting a bit and seeking opinions/suggestions/comments/ideas - I’m hoping there’s plenty of all to share with me.
My grandmother died in 1995. My mother gave me one of my grandmother’s diamond rings - 4 stones in a line. I don’t like diamonds. I never liked diamonds. I’ve worn it once, and it’s remained in my jewelry box otherwise. I’ve offered it to my daughter, but she’s not too fond of diamonds either.
I can’t bring myself to sell it. I want to offer it to my mother or sister (the one who really likes sparklies) and, frankly, I’d like some cash for it.
Lest you think I’m completely mercenary and heartless, the one thing I got from my grandparents’ estate is a framed print that hung in their living room forever. It’s nothing special, not worth anything, but it means the world to me because it reminds me of them and the times I spent at their house. I’ve had dreams that took place in that picture. It hangs in my home office and I get a lot of pleasure from it.
But the ring means nothing. I feel rotten about that, but I never saw my grandmother wear it - she never wore/used anything “nice” for fear of ruining it. And I honestly doubt that giving me that ring was her dying wish - I expect my mother just told me that.
So, what do I do?
Do I offer to sell it to my mom or my sister?
Do I leave it in the jewelry box and hope I don’t lose it?
Do I sell it and buy my daughter a new computer?
And if I offer it to Mom of Sis, how do I approach them? Holding grudges and passing judgement is a favorite family pasttime - bad enough I’m persona non grata because I left home at 19 and have always lived rather far away from them all.
I suspect trying to sell it to mom or sis will probably extend your tenure as persona non grata.
If there’s no sentimental value, then there’s no reason not to sell it somewhere else. My wife’s wedding band was bought in an antique store, certainly someone sold it to them before it was sold to us. There’s certainly nothing wrong with this practice.
If there is sentimental value, and you feel obliged to keep it in the family, maybe you can “trade” with mom and sis for something you’d prefer. Or sock it away if you think maybe there’s a grandchild in your future and you can pass it along then. Depending on the size of the diamonds, you can always have them remounted as earrings, or used as an engagement ring somewhere down the line.
Do you like any precious stones (or semi-precious) better than diamonds?
You could sell off the diamonds in the ring (I have no idea what you could get for them like that) and replace them with a more favored stone. (Again, I have no idea what this will cost) You might come out ahead that way and your “family” doesn’t have to know anything.
(The Little Woman likes emeralds. Synthetic emeralds even. They’re greener. And cheaper. Woo hoo.)
-Rue. (not a jewelry guy)
The info in istara’s thread really comes into play here, specifically the “Diamonds are forever…so don’t ever sell yours!” part.
The ring, for whatever reason, is yours now. If it holds no sentimental value, sell it the same way you would sell something else they gave you. If you had received a computer from your grandmother and your sister or mother wanted it, you could ask them outright for whatever you thought was fair. IMO, the same rules should apply here.
'Course, they’re almost assuredly going to say that you should just give it to them since you got it “for free,” but that’s a crock. Would they just give you something they have inherited? Not likely. The fact that’s it’s jewelery should make zero difference.
Why don’t you have the ring appraised by a reputable jeweler? Then you’ll know what exactly you’re dealing with, in terms of monetary value. As you’ve said, the sentimental value is nil.
I have a wonderful jeweler who specializes in estate jewelry, and they are always looking for good pieces. Remember, a jeweler will never give you all of what it’s worth, but let them make you an offer if they want to.
I would say hold on to it, just in case. You never know who might express an interest in the ring later on, and then you might feel awkward if you’ve sold it!
PS- mom & sis probably won’t see it your way. 'Nuff said.
Have you considered having the ring melted down into a teardrop pendant and having grandma’s name engraved in it? One or all of the stones could be set in it and the others made into ear rings or something like that.
I plan on doing this with my original wedding set which is just worn out and missing the original stone. Then I’ll have our anniversary date engraved on one side. I think the minimum amount of gold needed is about 5 or 6 grams.
If they’re smaller ones, the ring could be taken apart and the diamonds used as accent stones for the larger, preferred stone - like those ring wraps around another stone that are so popular now.
Four diamonds could make two pairs of earrings, one for you and one for your daughter - to be given away as a Christmas gift to the other rellys you mentioned, perhaps?
Size of the stones? Can’t quote carats, but they’re not chips - they’re decent sizes. Making them into earrings isn’t a logical option - I don’t wear earrings. In fact, I wear my wedding band and a watch - don’t even wear my engagement ring (It’s a opal.)
I really should get it appraised - if only for insurance purposes. Maybe I can approach my mom with: “I had the ring appraised and found out it’s worth $X - seems a shame to have it sitting in my jewelry box…” or something to that effect. It’s a kind of pre-emptive strike, too. Mom has a lot of diamonds and I don’t want her leaving any of them to me either.
Too bad my grandmother didn’t collect tropical islands…
