Okay, I’ve got a package for a Mr…[sub]<checks clipboard>[/sub] Cecilii? To whit:
[list=1]
[li]One (1) large bronze face mask of Matthew Broderick.[/li][li]Fifty eight (58) feet of copper pipes.[/li][li]Two (2) multicolour smoke generators.[/li][li]One (1) pyrotechnical display control board.[/li][li]Two (2) curtains and curtain rail for hiding behind.[/li][li]One (1) microphone and voicebox.[/li][li]One (1) concealed loudspeaker, woofer.[/li][li]One (1) concealed loudspeaker, tweeter.[/li][li]One (1) Wizard of Oz placard, optional extra.[/li][li]Three hundred and nineteen (319) picture hooks (to mount facemask with).[/li][li]One (1) mouse mat, complimentary.[/li][/list=1]
Oh, I also found this hamster. Does anyone know who it belongs to?
Sorry? I’ve got the wrong face? What do you mean, it’s the same one I’ve had since I was born. [sub](admittedly with a bit more metal in it now)[/sub]
Oh, you mean the bronze mask…well what should it look like?
<Looks at clipboard>
Ah. Fenris. Damn…
<whips out a marker and scribbles on the mask briefly>
There ya go! No one will tell the difference now, just tell him to grow a huge beard and start wearing horn-rimmed glasses.
Now can I just have someone’s signature on this form?
Hey, that’s okay - as long as you sign on the dotted line I don’t care. Just don’t read the small print.
Nice mountain fortress by the way, very foreboding. I really felt oppressed and loomed upon as I wound my way up the perilous winding track (which, incidentally, I reckon could do with a handrail - I almost had the face off one corner). Lots of corner windows I noticed.
If you need a window cleaner here’s my card:
Happy Birthday!
Oops! sorry, wrong one…here y’go:
PT
Professional Amateur - Self-Tautologist
Anthropomorphic Man - Modest Liar No cask too large, no fee too small
Medium-sized countries invaded upon request…
Here, PT, we’ll pay in cash. No, it’s not Momopoly money, it’s Canadain money. We have had little train silhouettes on them for as long as I cna remember. Yeo, I’m sure. No worries.
I’m beginning to wonder if I should trust the colour of your money…
<rubs it between fingers>
…especially when the ink comes off.
I’m sorry, but the only change I’ve got is going to have to be in nuclear waste. But don’t worry, I think I’ve got the right amount.
<checks clipboard>
Yep - right here, 200 tons of waste for disposa…[sub]ahem[/sub] …for the purpose of change.
I’ve parked it down at the bottom of the mountain, next to the secret escape tunnel (complete with camoflaged doors). You can’t miss it It’s the stuff which glows.
An old joke. The scene is the Vatican. An aide rushes in, and exclaims – “Holy Father, I have some good news and some bad news.” The Pope asks, “Well, what is it?” The aide responds – “The good news is that Jesus has returned! The bad news is that he is in Salt Lake City.”
In this case, the good news is that, after a long absence, Cecil has posted on this board. The even better news is that he didn’t post to this thread, but instead added his wisdom to Fatima message is secret no more.
A motley crew of ne’er-do-wells attempts a coup d’board, and Cecil deigns to even recognize their existence. Meanwhile, a second group, of Cecil loyalists, helps Unca Cece in his ongoing war against ignorance, and Cecil personally and graciously acknowledges their assistance. I dunno – maybe there’s a lesson here.
I suggest we remember this as “the koan of one Cecil clapping”.
Unca Cece has been posting like a whirlwind recently, responding to no fewer than three threads in the last day! Besides the one above, they include My Bad Croc Tears and Swallowing String and Death.
Unca Cece has been posting like a whirlwind recently, responding to no fewer than three threads in the last day! Besides the one above, they include My Bad Croc Tears and Swallowing String and Death.
Just because the Original, Never To Be Questioned Cecil Adams has inexplicably started (within the last week, mind you) to post more often than The Only Slightly Less Infallible Fenris, Celic II, the whining naysayers like whitetho come back out of the woodwork.
Fie on thee, I say. FIE!
We’re only trying to help. Cecil has been fighting the good fight for THIRTY YEARS. He must be tired. And old.
Cecil II has done nothing but offer to help. I’m sure the current Admins, especially Arnold Winklereid would agree.
Well, he would, if he weren’t so danged neutral about everything.