Hey, a double post-spaced 5 min apart! And I only hit submit once! Wicked cool!
those hamsters have been drugged. it’s all part of the plot.
I’ve made plane reservations and a point of rendevous, Arwen. After all, what is a receptionist for? I’ll e-mail you the instructions along with the secret password.
Actually, the hamsters have been organized by Evil Pink Laborites suborned by News of the Weird in a takeover attempt of Straight Dope Worldwide Enterprises, Inc. (E. Zotti, Executive Vice President and C.O.O.). Part of the problem, however, is that some of the gerbils from the BBQ Pit have been giving out leaks regarding what people being flamed have been told to do with them – and the hamsters want in on the action! 
the hamsters want in on the gerbils action?
well, that certainly makes sense since…
Gerbils **have ** been known for gettin’ some tail…
Lisa Ann Thanks. You have been very helpful-a wonderful receptionist. The rendezvous point looks ideal. Now I will await the appointed day for the meeting of our Crack Team Of Assassins (as opposed to the Team Of Crack Assassins).
It seems that I booked the “Crack Assassins” by accident…
Heh, heh, heh…
Arwen is going to lure Atreyu to Mexico, and then…
HEY. I wanna go to Mexico! Or Aruba. Any old place that’s warm and sunny. This isn’t fair. I’ve been Loyally Minioning for Cecil II for weeks now, and what do I get?
I get to try to stop the Hamster-Gerbil Unionizing Movement, answer to Polycarp about staffing issues, and duck Ed Zotti and Jerry Davis. IT’S NOT FAIR!
Humph. Have fun in Mexico, Arwen.
Exgineer don’ t know why you’re complaining, after all, we opted for the soft faux fur restraints for you.
Exgineer, was would be the purpose for your trip, Cecil II-wise? Can you justify the expense? I’ll get back to you if it is deemed necessary.
Uhmmm…
Well Lisa Ann, I was going to check on the pre-import prices on mexican soft faux fur restraints. It’s all work related, honestly.
Fenris,Cecil II will approve the voucher, and Polycarp can verify my employment in the New Order.
Please refer any other questions to wring while I’m gone.
No, wait. I need to take her with me as a Quality Control Specialist. You know how it is.
Just ask Arwen or Polycarp, unless they want to come too.
Ahhh, ta heck wid it. We’re all out of the office for a few days.
Don’t forget your passport!
I’ll hold the fort down.
Mexico?
::: looks longingly at postcard from Cancun sent by rich friend :::
We really need to investigate the degree of ignorance that needs to be combatted South of the Border, Exgineer – and to determine if a simul-translation of the boards into Spanish is effective in cost-benefit terms.
::: deposits 10 lb. of Godiva chocolates in mailbox marked Tubadiva to throw her off our track :::
Let the hamsters fend for themselves!
Vayamos!!!
I, too, have a fondness for fine chocolates. Dark is preferable.
Hurry on down, guys, Mexico is GREAT!
¡olé!
I read this thing, and I can only shake my head in wonderment.
Do you really think Cecil will go gently into that good night?
Do you think he wants an apprentice or a surrogate?
I guess the screenname Fenris is a misnoner. Any self-respecting wolf knows that the way you get ahead is to defeat/destroy the alpha-leader.
Likewise you can’t toady your way into the Cecil position.
You must rise up, destroy him and take over by force.
Law of the jungle. Read your Kipling, Pup.
To date I know of only one poster who has gotten anything looking like a concession or a retraction out of Cecil (as well as his longest post.)
Doubtless that poster will be forever immortalized in the next SD book.
But, I wouldn’t want to say who that is.
Clearly that person is the only one with a shot at replacing Cecil.
::blushing with false modesty::
“None so blind as those that will not see”. You are hardly alone. I, for one, got a retraction from Uncle Cecil in my posting of Cecil’s Lousy Call Letter Answer. Even better, that led to a full-fledged Straight Dope column, Why do U.S. radio call letters start with W in the east and K in the west (revisited)?* based completely on my webpage*, which Unca Cece kindly mentioned and graciously called “admirable”. (I particularly liked Slug’s illustration for this column, and am thinking of having it tatooed on my arm some day, as a momento).
So, where’s your Cecil-column? [sound of crickets]
You might also be interested to know that the only “unofficial link” included in the Straight Dope FAQ page is a little something which I wrote. All Hail Cecil! So, I think I could be described as someone with whom Cecil is well pleased. Yet I wouldn’t think for a moment I could take Cecil’s illustrious place, and would hope that the Teeming Millions would rise up in rebellion were I foolish enough to try.
Well, dream on. Although perhaps the Reader has a Chief Bottle Washer position open for which you are qualified…
So, I guess I have to take Scylla’s post, along with whitetho’s, and put them in the file labeled “Sour Grapes,” aannndd…
flush it.
Heh. We can’t hear you, because Fenris, Cecil II loves us, and cares for us, and sent us to Mexico.
Hey, Polycarp, I heard that there’s a lot of ignorance to be fought in the Bahamas, too.
Maybe we should swing by on the way back?
Scylla and whitetho are dissenting, Exgineer, wring, and Polycarp won’t return from their business trip, and Lisa Ann is aiding and abetting their escape…the Basement Dwellers haven’t been properly fed in a week… and to top it off, that sneaky Arnold and Atreyu escaped from the Crack Assassins!
I think that we need to see the Fearless LeaderTron back in here to regel the ranks… Or maybe some new hamsters. Everything is always the hamsters’ fault.
[runs in with big, warm, dark, fluffy, frosted chocolate cake]
sorry for the delay – had to build the kitchen, don’cha know. [strutting]with m’own two hands, thankyouverymuch. [/strutting] here’s the test cake, up for grabs.
Anyway, meals will be more regular from now on. Anyone have any food allergies? Requests? Anything you absolutely positively won’t eat?
Hey, Lisa Ann? Where’s your inbox? I have this small invoice for the kitchen that needs to be paid… and I need a purchase order for a box of hairnets, since The Great Fenris said I must. Tho they’ll cover up my pretty red hair. But, if he says so…