psst Todderbob;
Well, apparently something (or someone) caused an injury severe enough that medical attention was warranted, so I too took the story to mean that Kayla did indeed bite the little boy…
If not, the telling of the story is somewhat unclear, if not misleading, IMHO.
My mom took me when I was a little’un to the doctor, they suspected a UTI, so that meant a urine test.
Anyway, after all of the pleading and cold water running, she had to go too, so dye also used the toilet and we stepped back into the waiting room. Apparently I waited a few moments, thinking, then blurted out my question.
“how come yours has fur and mine doesn’t?”
I have 6 year old son that my friend and I have nicknamed Captain Obvious. He has no filter and whatever he takes in with his eyes comes out of his mouth. He is also very friendly and has a loud voice - a dangerous combination! I could probably fill up this thread with his quotes.
One time we were eating lunch at Friendly’s (a kid-friendly burgers and ice cream joint, if you didn’t know) and the table across from us was obviously some kind of assisted-living outing comprising of four or five handicapped adults and one group leader. I was hoping he wouldn’t focus on that table, but as luck would have it he was sitting directly across from them. There was a man in a wheelchair who probably had Cerebral Palsy. My son loudly asked why that man was “talking funny!” so I explained that’s how some people are born blah blah blah and much to my relief that was the end of it, or so I thought. A little while later my friend and I were talking and I happened to look over at my son, and was horrified to see him copying the guy in the wheelchairs mannerisms and faces. I told him to stop and that it wasn’t nice and he said “But he’s making faces at me!!”
Another time we ordered pizza and I let him answer the door (I was right behind him. He gets a huge thrill about paying for things). The first thing out of his mouth to the teenage delivery kid? “My mommy is fat because when I was in her belly I kicked it out!”
(I have to preface this last one by apologizing in advance for the racial slur moulinyan. The context of the story will illustrate that we don’t normally use this language in the house because my son had no idea what it meant.) Last summer we had some Italian-American relatives from NY come for their first visit. They had just returned from a couple of weeks on a boat in Florida. Their 12 year old son was very, very tan, so my son told him “You have brown skin!” and his mother said “Oh, yeah, he’s my little moulinyan!” My son stopped and thought for a second, and I could see the lightbulb go on “Oh! Buenos dias!”*
- He thought she was speaking Spanish, so he responded in the only Spanish words he knew.
Yeah, we have those too.
We also have quite a few of my favorite, “Slow Children Playing”.
I always felt a little sorry for those kids who weren’t too bright.
But they grow up and get jobs! Haven’t you seen the sign that reads, “Slow men at work?”. 
There was also “Cross Children Walk”, to which Ogden Nash responded, “Happy Children Ride”.
The little girl I used to babysit just loved her dad’s business partner Kyle. Once when she was around three, we rode the bus to the office. She was very excited we were going to see him as well as her dad, so all the way downtown, every few minutes she’d shout out, “See Kyle! See Kyle!”
I swear I’m not making this up. I have references.
My family is from a very small town in north-central Minnesota; we lived in several different towns, including a couple German communities in southern MN (Cold Spring and Albany). There were no brown folks other than a very few Filipino women who were married to former military guys, like our auntie. We also have two adopted cousins who are Vietnamese. But that’s it. Paley McWhitersons everywhere.
Literally, and without exaggeration, neither my brothers nor I had ever seen a humanoid of African ancestry in the flesh until we took a family vacation to Seattle when I was six years old. There were only three TV channels, and none of them even showed Sesame Street, so the only people of color we ever saw were sports figures. Um, I will say that although my parents are now quite accepting of people of diverse ethnicities, back then my Dad, in particular, was not shy about dropping the N-word. Not surprising, given the culture in which he was raised.
When I was 10, we moved to the Seattle suburbs and our little hick lives got all diversified. Our paperboy was a mixed-race kid named Tony. First day he delivered, my six-year-old brother whipped open the door and blurted out, “Are you a N-word?” thud
Surprised but not really all that bothered, Tony said, “Uh, yeah, I guess I am.”
Brother said, “OK!” He was just checking, you see. After that, he was Tony’s best bud, and made it a point to offer him a glass of water every time he could catch him dropping off the paper.
When ever I see the signs “Watch Children” I always wonder if they are more effective than watch dogs - but it seems cruel to keep children as pets.
There was a farm near where I grew up that had a sign on the road outside that said:
PICK YOUR OWN
CHILDREN!!!
I got this story second hand, but knowing the players, I have no doubt that it happened.
My husband was talking with a friend of ours, a father of a boy and a girl. During the course of the visit, the little girl stood directly in front of my husband’s chair to share this little gem with him: “Daddy has a penis and Billy has a penis, but *I *have a vagina!” Then she went on her merry way.
A friend of mine was standing in line at a grocery store with her little girl. The person in front of them was a rather large women, with a pager on her belt.
The pager started to beep.
The little girl said, “Watch out, mommy - she’s backing up!”
This is a joke or urban legend or something, because I’ve heard it before.
Well, to start with, clairobscur is French, so can’t be expected to know all US idioms.
Second, I didn’t know this meaning of “coon” until I started hanging out on the SDMB - it strikes me as very much a YMMV thing, but I don’t think it’s a universally known idiom even among native English speakers.
Art Linkletter made a career out of these things.
One of my favorites was a kid that he interviewed who let it be known that Mommy slept on the couch last night. When asked why, he replied that Daddy made it too hot for her in the bedroom.
Turned out that they couldn’t agree on a setting for the ceiling fan…
Man, that took me forever to parse properly. But it was worth the wait.
Over the weekend my 5 year old daughter took it upon herself to cut her own hair (without our knowledge), because it kept getting in her eyes. She actually didn’t do a terrible job, but she’s very unhappy with how short it is in the front. I was trying to console her about it, and she said in between tears “Daddy, I look horrible! Everyone at school will laugh at me! I look like a freak! Daddy, I look LIKE YOU!!!”
Two stories about Ralf Jr:
- When he was about 4 years old, he saw one dog sniffing another dog’s butt. “Why does he do that?”, he asked. We said this is how dogs find out more about other dogs. “The brown dog was checking out the black dog”, I said.
Later that day, Missus Coder went into a K-Mart for something, and Ralf Jr. and I stayed in the car. She came out about 10 minutes later, and said that the cashier was really slow in checking her out. “You mean she sniffed your butt?”, chimed up my little boy…
- Mark, a friend of mine, was born with Osteogenesis Imperfecta - a bone disorder more commonly known as Brittle Bones disease. He is permanently in a powered wheelchair. I’m not sure if he can even stand on his own. Ralf Jr. was maybe 6 or 7 when we went to see Mark. We told him ahead of time about Mark, so that our son wouldn’t be afraid or flip out. He was actually very good, until he asked, “Why can’t you just walk without the chair?”. Mark was apparently very used to this sort of question from kids. He just said, “It’s because I didn’t eat my vegetables when I was young”. And that satisfied everyone’s curiosity very nicely.
Could you help me out?