Another whine about the evil of the fairer sex

Ah women.

Can’t live with 'em, pass the beer nuts.

Not having lived with one for nearly two years now, the lonliness can be a bit much, so there’s the occasional hope that one of the ones without a ring (Mississippi grand total: about a dozen) might have a bit of interest in the Jeek.

Lately, a friend of mine has gotten a few weeks off from the single dad routine because the girls were off with their grandparents. So that means that I’ve got a temporarily available drinking buddy.

So we go out to Buffalo Wild Wings for the second week in a row. Much like the previous week, we’re both drinking, and I’m happily whipping his ass in NTN trivia.

The night passes, and as usual, the place is pretty much packed. Our cute, friendly waitress is actually pretty bad at her job, but as I said at the beginning of the sentence, cute and friendly so I really don’t care. Eventually, she starts sitting at our table when she’s on her way past and gabbing for a minute or two before getting back to work.

At some point I asked her about a date, and she mentions that her boyfriend, the owner, probably wouldn’t like that. Using my awesome suavity, I feed her my standard response: “Naturally he’s not invited. That’d be pretty awkward, don’t you think?”

She gets back up, starts working, and the night continues. Of course, she still stops by every once in a while to sit and chat, even though the place is packed pretty much till close.

The time comes to settle the bill, and she asks if there’s anything else. I say something witty about her phone number and she just laughs and goes to get the bill.

Up until this point is a typical night for me. Decide to give it a shot, go down in flames, pay the bil, and go home.

So, she comes back with the bill and sets it on the table. My friend points out that we needed seperate checks and she says, “Too bad, this is the one with my number on it”, and picks up the bill she’s set down. And, believe it or not, a phone number was written on it!

She comes back with two seperate checks, and then gives me the old one that had the number on it. When my friend asks me why he didn’t get one, she points out that I was the one who asked for it. I jokingly say, “I hope that’s not your bosses number.” She giggles and says that of course it isn’t.

I have to say I was pretty please with myself. I spent $20 on a night where I drank a bunch of beer, kicked ass in trivia, and got a cute girl’s number.

Then, of course, I actually called it.

Here’s a little recreation of actual events. Names have been changed just because it seemed like a good idea. We’ll call our waitress Tina.

[Dials number]
VM: Hi, this is Jenny, blah blah blah, leave a message.
[Hangs up]

Merijeek: Hmm…something tells me I know what’s going on here. But, maybe it was a wrong number or something.

[Dials number]
VM: Hi, this is Jenny, blah blah blah, leave a message.
Merijeek: Hello. This is a message for Tina, but something tells me I got a bum number. Anyways, this is Merijeek calling for Tina. You met me on Thursday night. Give me a call at 555-1212.
[Hangs up]

Merijeek: Ah well, so much for that.

Then I continued working on what I was doing.

About 15 minutes pass.
[Phone rings - “Private Number”]
Merijeek: Joe speaking.
Asshole: Joe? Wrong fucking number.
Merijeek: Huh?
Asshole: You got the wrong fucking number. Tina is living with someone blah blah saw you harassing her for her phone number in the corner blah blah blah.
Merijeek: You done?
Asshole: Uhh…
Merijeek: Thought so.
[Hangs up]

The possibilities being, of course, that either her boyfriend got to the message first (pretty fucking unlikely), or it was her evil little idea of a joke.

Now, was that really necessary? There was no “harassing”. The whole phone number thing was a totally off-hand remark.

I know she’s a waitress and therefore gets hit on a dozen times a day, blah blah blah. But, shit, whatever happened to “No”?


Why did you bother to continue after “I’ve got a boyfriend”?

Don’t hit on people who are paid to be nice to you. Not even in (I’m guessing here) Hooters rip-off places where they are paid to be extra icky-sticky nice to you.

She went too far, though. You can go for the big tip, or you can go for the petty revenge on the annoying customer. You shouldn’t try to get both.

Because when a guy does something like that, there would be fucking warfare.

a Dublin radiostation did something like this, where they gave out a phone number for women to give to guys who they had no interest in, and then played the messages left on them on the air.

It was the cruelest thing I have ever heard in my life, and if the sexes were role reversed the station would almost be burned to the ground.

I have to admit that asking for the phone number after she mentioned a boyfriend was pretty rude. You should have let it go. Even if she was using the line to get you off her back, and it wasn’t true, that should have been the hint.

Dude, "At some point I asked her about a date, and she mentions that her boyfriend, the owner, probably wouldn’t like that. " was a “No”. It’s not her fault you’re too dense to realize it.

Well, sweetie, you were thinking with your dick. How do I know? Because you were putting up with lousy service just because she was cute. As soon as you realized you were doing that, it should have become clear that you were going to make bad decisions the rest of the night. Which you did. And continued the next day, even!

But hey, think about it this way: she probably would have been high maintenance anyway.

Better luck next time.

Oh, and I am VERY new to the board, so if it’s too soon for me to be spouting off my opinions, feel free to tell me to get lost.


  1. Nothing wrong with hitting on waitresses … in theory … but be gentle … it’s their job after all

  2. I don’t understand why she gave you her phone number, unless she’s interested in dumping her boyfriend. Maybe she sabotaged the relationship with this little stunt.

  3. Phone numbers don’t usually lead to anything anyway. When I was single, I rarely called. It was more fun to bump into the girl later and have her ask why I didn’t call.

And you’re NOT single now? Forgive me, but that sounds like horrible advice. I don’t ask why you didn’t call. I assume you are a big chicken, or weren’t interested in the first place.

I have to agree with most of the other posters here, you were in the wrong.

I once worked as a waitress, while I was married to my ex. My ex was not a nice guy and a little on the jealous side. One night a really, really drunk guy asked me for my phone number (I was sporting a wedding band set and talking to said exhusband). I quickly said that I wasn’t interested and introduced him to my husband. He stood there for a few minutes, swaying…and then asked for my number again. Fortunately, my ex wasn’t drinking that night, and wasn’t in an ass-kicking mood.

Waitresses are not working to pick up dates, they are working to pay the rent. Waitresses find it to their benefit to be “cute, pretty” and even a bit flirtatious at times. Don’t take this as any interest in you personally, they just want a decent tip. And no is no. She probably just thought you were a complete jerk for hinting around about wanting her number after she told you she had a boyfriend. (Hint: You may not have even been the only one that made a pass at her that night!)

At first, I thought you were kidding, after she said I have a boyfriend, and you said, “Well, he’s not invited.”

Then, I saw you were serious.

Personally, at this point, I would have done all I could just to get you the hell out of there.


Welcome, Lesbia. It’s never too soon to spout off opinions; the more outrageous, the better.

As for the OP, give up trying to pick up waitresses in bars. It’s so tacky.

Because she might be lying and perseverence sometimes pays off.

Why would she lie about something like that, if she wasn’t trying to say in a nice, polite, non-losing-of-tips way to say “Fuck off asshole, I’m not interested.”

Well, I suppose that depends on the girl. In every case where some guy wouldn’t take no for an answer, I’ve had to resort to pepperlandgirl’s “Fuck-off asshole, I’m not interested.” and then I get called a bitch for not wanting to date your sorry ass.

Guess what - “I’ve got a boyfriend” means “Fuck-off asshole, I’m not interested”, but all tarted up for public consumption, just as an FYI.

The girl who blushingly says “Gosh, I never give out my number in a bar.” could potentally be playing hard to get.

Just to clear up some female nomenclature for you fellas.

But just because she isn’t interested at the first asking doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll never be interested.

Here’s a true story. When I was in college there was this german echange student. I’ll never forget him, simply because he was the most repugnant piece of human wreckage it has ever been my misfortune to come across. He was rude (and I mean, really, really rude), he was mind numbingly stupid and barely literate in English or German (he passed his German A-Level with a C, his German exam fer cryin’ out loud), he was sexist, he used to get drunk and get into fights and he was also pretty ugly.

One night I was at a club and I saw him dancing on his own in the middle of the dance floor. He didn’t have any friends that I was aware of so I was a little surprised to see him out at all. Anyway, I tried to ignore him and moved to where he couldn’t see me but a while later I saw him trying it on with the most gorgeous girl on the dance floor. She ignored him and eventually left the floor because he pestered her so much. I have to admit feeling a certain schedenfreude because, well, I couldn’t stand him, so from a distance I watched to see if anyone else would blow him off.

Anyway, no sooner has the first girl left the dance floor than this kid is dancing with another, equally sexy woman. Same result. Not to be disheartened he tries again, and again and yet again, each time with the same result. Now it’s just getting tragic, but still he perseveres. After a while he’s gone through virtually every single vaguely attractive girl on the dance floor.

You know what he did?

He started again.

That’s right, all the way from the top. He started hitting on one of the most gorgeous girls he’d tried hitting on at the beginning of the night. She told him to shove it, so he went to the next girl, and the next until a couple of girls down the line (and remember these were, with the exceptions of the few who had walked off in disgust, all girls he had already hit on) he managed to start dancing with one.

By this time I was also on the floor with my friend and I could see that she was obviously unwilling and thinking “Maybe if I dance with him he’ll go away”. However, after a little while she started getting into it and before long they were making out like crazy. I made it a point never to socialise with that kid but as far as I know they’re still together.


Moral of the story: Just because a girl says no to you, or makes up some pretence or other, doesn’t mean that her opinion will never change. Perseverence can sometimes pay off. Merijeek didn’t overstep the bounds, IMO.

Or in some cases, “perserverence” makes you seem creepy and obsessive.

Welcome, Lesbia! I hope that you enjoy being here and spout off at will!

I am so in agreement with pepperlandgirl! What do we have to say do get the point across? Some men don’t take “no” for an answer either.

I do think that it was pissy of her to give you a phone number though.

Well I was offering some clarity:

Pretence 1 “I have a boyfriend” = “Fuck off you loser asshole.”

Pretence 2 “Gosh - giggle…giggle - I never give out my phone number” = Well, maybe ask again.

When a woman says she has a boyfriend, there’s really no going back.

I have a boyfriend but I’ll screw you on the side?
I have a boyfriend but I’ll let you buy me drinks all night?
I have a boyfriend but I really want to dump him and date you instead?

None of these are messages that women typically want to send.

If she says she has a boyfriend, it means “Piss off.”


Nope, I was just saying calling’s a sucker’s move.

That’s right; I’m not single and in fact I’m dating a waitress who waited on me. But whatever … don’t take my advice … it’s just based on real-life experience …