I can’t top the advice that has been given, but I simply can’t close this thread without offering my condolences. I’ll never pretend to know what you two must face together, but this was one of my greatest fears while pregnant.
I’d like to punch your friends in the nose, but I will cut them slack for being ignorant and in a tight spot not knowing what to say or do.
As a mother, I can understand your not wanting an autopsy. It’s hard to agree to doing such an invasive procedure on what you have left of your perfect, innocent, beautiful son.
I’ll add my condolences; that’s a terrible thing to have happen.
As for the cat: I work at an animal shelter, and I can imagine only one reason why shelter folks would have any problem with such an adoption. If anyone comes to the shelter wanting to adopt an animal, and we get a sense that they’re not prepared to provide a permanent home for the animal, we’ll counsel them about pet responsibilities, about the 10-20 year timeframe they should consider when adopting an animal, about the physical and emotional needs of an animal. In rare cases, we would deny an adoption, if we suspect that a person will get tired of an animal after six months and return her to us. Returned adopted animals are a real burden on us, financially and emotionally.
This doesn’t sound at all like what you’re doing; instead, you’re helping to save a life, which is always a good thing to do. My best wishes for you and for Callie.