This place is full of cat lovers like myself and I feel you’re one of the few groups that truly know how I feel. My siblings and I were never allowed to have a pet growing up because my dad lost his dog as a kid and decided the pain was too great, so no more dogs.
My mom had a cat nip at her when she was a child so she convinced herself that all cats were nasty, so since mom knows all when your a kid, I grew up believing cats were nasty too.
My brother got a dalmation he named Alex once he moved out on his own and when Alex died he said, Never again! It hurts too much."
Once I moved out on my own, a friend of mine found a stray grey and white male kitten and convinced me to keep him “til he found it a permanent home”. Yeah right. I agreed and of course I soon realized my mom was wrong all these years and decided he was a pretty cool little animal. He was long and lean and I named him Stretch.
After a couple months, a friend of mine convinced me that Stretch should have a playmate, so one day I was at a pet store and saw a sign on the bulletin board: “Free cats to good home”. I went to the address and was shocked at what I saw.
This house must’ve had at least 50 cats of all shapes and sizes. There was a pile of newborns laying on a bed. Little kittens, grown cats roaming everywhere. There were several overloaded litterboxes everywhere and the house stunk like, well, 50 cats lived in it. These people didn’t seem the least embarrassed, but I was horrified.
The owner kept pushing me to take 2 or 3 cats and I amost took this small beige one until I spotted this little terrified puffball cowering in the corner. She was the only calico of the bunch and I knew I had to take her.
I took her straight to the vet since she was covered in fleas and ear mites. Got her shots and took her home. She was thrilled with all the open space she only had to share with one cat and Stretch warmed up to her immediately.
She remained a tiny little thing, only weighing 5 pounds at full growth. At one point her weight reached 6 pounds and the vet said she needed to cut back on snacks and get back to 5 pounds. Since she was so small I named her Baby.
I have a picture here of Baby and Stretch together. Baby is on the left and Stretch is sitting in the chair. I hope I sent this link correctly. https://picasaweb.google.com/dmheat1/20090724#5449297443468407506
Baby was happy as long as she was near me always. If I had a piece of velcro on my waist and stuck her to it she would’ve been content.
As soon as I go to bed she’ll perk her head up and happily trot to the bedroom, hop on the bed and spelunk (that’s what we call it) under the covers with me. Her favorite place.
She did enjoy going outside to explore and bask in the sun, but never harmed another animal. She once stalked a bird and charged at it, but once she touched it, she freaked out and ran off.
She has made me laugh hysterically at her antics countless times and drove me crazy demanding attention NOW when I’m busy with other things. She has cuddled with me and licked tears off my face after I heard the news of the death of a friend. Whatever room I’m in she’s following behind and on my lap most of the time.
I was worried when I gave birth to my son last year that she may become jealous and lash out at him, but she loved him from the start and would sleep between his legs with her head on his diapered butt, next to us on the couch. During feedings with my son, she would sometimes feel a bit neglected and try to burrow between us to get some attention.
I noticed she wasn’t eating much last month and we weren’t seeing much poop in her litter box. The vet said she was dehydrated, anemic and had high kidney levels. Basically, her kidneys were failing. By the time you notice any signs, the kidneys are at a 70% loss already. She’s was now 18 years old and kidney failure is very common in geriatric cats.
The vet was vague in her answer when I ask about her life expectancy. I imagined we’d have several months together. Enough time for me to come to terms with this.
We were doing daily subQ fluids and medications and she did improve for awhile, but this Tuesday, I called my boyfriend at home during my lunch break and he said Baby wasn’t doing well. The rest of my work day dragged unmercilessly as I was anxious to get home.
When I got home she was weak, but did eat a little and urinated which got my hopes up. I knew deep down she was losing the fight, but she didn’t appear to be suffering. We wrestled with the decision of whether we should take her to be put to sleep or not and decided we’d wait until morning.
At one point in the evening on Tuesday, she laid down with her buddy Stretch and he groomed her and kept her warm. I think he knew he was losing his companion. Then she went on my boyfriends lap for awhile as he petted her and spoke softly to her. Then she came to me and I loved on her as well. Little did I know she was saying her goodbyes. I guess my heart was in denial, but my head knew.
We set up a heated pad set on low and gave her a little blanket and we all went to bed.
I woke up for work at 4:30am on Wednesday and as I walked down the hall in the darkness, I heard her call out to me with a quiet mew. She was breathing shallow, labored breaths and I knew this was her final moments. I scratched her on the chin, spoke to her and she replied in a crackled final mew. I whispered to her all the things she meant to me and told her about the Rainbow Bridge and that she didn’t have to hold on anymore. She can let go. Within the hour she was gone.
I’ve never watched a living thing die in front of my eyes before and I’m having a hard time coming to terms with it. I literally saw the life drain from her body and I can’t get the image out of my head.
I’m glad I was there to comfort her in her last moments, but I can’t stop crying. This is the first pet I’ve ever lost and my other cat Stretch is 19 years old and I can’t bear to go through this again. People say it’s hard to lose a pet, but damn they’re not kidding.
My dad and brother both decided the pain was too great after they lost their dogs and never got another pet again and I think I understand why. Now that Baby is gone I see how much of everyday life she was involved in with me. I keep reaching down to stroke her on my lap and I keep hearing her little mews off in the other room. I see her out of the corner of my eye and there’s nothing there. My other cat Stetch was wandering the house looking for her and I don’t know if I’m imagining it, but he looks very sad. Of course we’re giving him extra attention, the poor little guy.
I don’t know why I’m writing this. I know it’s long and boring to some I’m sorry. If you’ve stuck with it this long, thanks for reading. I guess it’s therapy for me to write my feelings and I know lots of you Doper cat lovers will understand.
Oh…I’m so sorry. My deepest condolences for your loss. This is exactly what I went through just a few weeks ago when my 19 year old cat died. I spoke to him as he lay dying and said the same things to him that you said to Baby. He was so precious to me, and it was so hard to watch him leave.
It was much, much harder for me to deal with than I had ever anticipated. It wasn’t unexpected, he had been in decline for the past year. So, I thought I was prepared. But this is something that you can’t prepare for. Like you, the image of those last moments just hung with me. I felt devastated.
But now it is three weeks later and I have started to come to terms with it. I know that it was his time and that is something that we cannot argue with. I would not have wanted him to linger and suffer longer. And I know that is not what you would have wanted for Baby either.
There will always be a pang when we think of them, but our consolation is in knowing that this pain is ours and not theirs. We would not bring them back just to save ourselves the suffering.
It will take time, but gradually you will be able to adjust to this and accept it. In the meantime, you still have your sweet Stretch to help ease your soul.
And the joy my little Frank gave me in his lifetime far outweighed the pain of his passing.
MissSwitac, that you were there to comfort Baby and ease her transistion is love of the highest degree.
I’m so sorry for the great loss you’re feeling. Be gentle on yourself. Know that you were the very best Baby could have ever had; that her life here was great because of you.
Painful sadness eventually passes. Let the tears flow. Sometimes we just have to be cry it out, and that’s okay. A big part of your life has changed. You’re allowed to grieve for that.
And bless your little cat. Her life was well lived. Take some solace in that.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your words were beyond beautiful, and your love shone in every single one.
Baby was a gorgeous little girl.
Give yourself time to heal; I think you will find, as Lilyofthefield said, that you will find that the joy you get sharing your life with these wonderful creatures will outweigh the pain of saying good-bye.
Thank you for the story of Baby. I am sure that she is waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge. I hope you can find peace at this time, and be assured that you and Baby will be in my thoughts.
I have to say that your parents meant well, but their reasons for not wanting pets were wrong.
Pets are a beautiful way to teach things that cannot be readily intellectualised, things such as responsibility, empathy, duty and care.
Even when they pass on, pets give us one of the most valuable life lessons there is, the knowledge of loss, the temporary nature of life, acceptance of the inevitable and also the ability to hold things in our hearts and our minds, the real meaning of treasure.
Loss is painful, never losing is worse, it means an incompleteness of ourselves, we have to develop to cope and grow.
Your cat made an investment in you, please consider getting another one or two when the time comes.
Losing a friend is always hard. There are people who will get how painful it is and people who won’t. I feel sorry for those who have never loved and been loved by an animal enough to mourn their passing.
I just had to put my dog down, as a friend said, after an undeservedly short life, so I feel your pain.
It does get easier. The hole they leave in your life fills in and life goes on. When the time feels right, think about saving another cat’s life. Knowing the kind of pain you’ll feel when they leave shouldn’t stop you from the all the wonderful experiences of having them in your life and the joy you can bring to them.
I’m sorry. I know it hurts, but at least know that you were there to comfort her in her final moments, so she wasn’t alone and scared. I’ve previously been the one to be there at the vet when we’ve had to put one of our ferrets to sleep, and with this last one, my husband finally got up the nerve to be there too. It shocked him to see the light go out in her eyes.
Like others have said, it will get better. You saved her from an awful life or fast death, and enjoyed a long time with her. Soon enough, you’ll find yourself taking more pleasure in the life she spent with you, and feeling less pain from the end of it. And it might seem unlikely now, but I think you’ll find yourself, maybe in a week or a month or a year, encountering another kitten or cat and discovering she fits a cat-shaped hole in your heart. No pet will ever replace another, but one might fill a space in your life and home in his or her own unique way.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story with us. The pain will ease, but it takes time. I still tear up wen I think of my departed pets, but the sharp pang is instead replaced by fond memories.
I have had so many animals in my life, and every one tore my heart when it was their time to go. All were dear friends, and in the right circumstances I will cry for them still. But the joy and love they gave me during their lives SO far outweighs the pain of their loss, I can not imagine my life without animals in it.
I am so sorry for your loss, and the pain you feel now. Baby knew she was loved, and she loved you back, maybe you can take some comfort from that.
PS My heart-cat, Katie, who I found abandoned as a tiny kitten and bottle raised, was a calico. I have a very soft place in my heart for them, and your girl was beautiful. You have my sympathy~
You probably won’t believe this or want to hear it right now cuz it’s too soon, but the best way to heal and to honor Baby is to replace her with another stray/rescue kitty. There is nothing in the world that is more joyful than a kitten. And it’s about to be “kitten season,” which means you can find them on Craigslist, in the paper, on the street corner, at your local humane society…they are everywhere and one of them would be soooo lucky to go home with you.
And wherever Baby is, she would be happy you saved another one just like her.
