“Did you ever have to make up your mind?”
Um, let me think about that…
“What’s love got to do with it?”
Nothing. Take your $20 and go.
How many roads must a man travel down before they call him a man?
Homer: 7!
Lisa: Dad, that’s a rhetorical question!
Homer: Rhetorical eh? 8!
I used to do that song but my interpertation changed as time passed.
Now it’s
“When I get older losing my hair, several years ago”
Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?
Cause I stuff my crotch with birdseed.
Have you never been mellow?
Once, a few weeks ago, when my doctor gave me a mg. of Ativan.
Great thread!
Does This Bus Stop at 82nd Street?
contains the gem
" The Daily News asks her for the dope
She says “Man, the dope’s that there’s still hope”. "
Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
The Barn Owl Monitoring Programme seems to be run by Ontarians.
Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?
Ewe did?
Who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Cyndi Lauper, she bops.
Who put the dip in the dip da dip da dip?
It’s really just Velveeta and salsa, microwaved.
Can’t you see, what that woman been doin’ to me?
[John Wayne Bobbit]
She been choppin’ off my freakin’ penis!
[/JWB]
“Won’t you tell me…where have all the good times gone?”
If you think they’re bad now, just wait until Dave leaves the band…
Whatever happened to Fay Wray?
she got fucked by a 50-foot ape…
Okay, it’s not really a question, but I get into an argument with Mick Jagger every time I hear that certain song…
MICK: TIIIIiiiiIIIiiiime is on my side.
ME: No it isn’t.
MICK: Yes it is!
ME: NO IT ISN’T!
Well my daughter thinks it’s funny.
But what I really want to know is…
Are you gonna go my way?
I don’t pick up hitchhikers.
I think it’s funny, too, and with your permission will begin annoying people with it at the earliest oppotunity.
Do you believe in magic, in a young girl’s heart?
No. It’s just a cardio-pulminary specialist who happens to be good at sleight of hand.
Baby, baby, can’t you hear my heart beat?
No, the cardio-pulminary specialist is talking too loud.
Now it can be told:
I, E. Thorp, am the man who:
[ul]
[li]put the bomp in the bomp-bomp-bomp[/li][li]put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong[/li][li]put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop[/li][li]put the dip in the dip-di-dip-di-dip[/li][/ul]
You may shake my hand if you like.
Go and spread the word, with my blessings. 
Frankie Lymon: “Why do fools fall in love?”
Because they’re fools. Hmph. [/bitter]
Q: Don’t you want Somebody to Love? A: Sure, that’d be nice.
Q: Don’t you need Somebody to Love? A: Well, I can always use my hand in a pinch.
Q: Wouldn’t you love Somebody to Love? A: Didn’t you just ask me that?
Q: Are You Experienced? Have you ever been experienced?
A: Well, I have been in the past, but not now. (I don’t smoke that funny stuff anymore.)
Q: Who Knows Where the Time Goes?
A: I know! It goes here!
That is vert wierd, twisted, and funny.
“Does anybody really know what time it is?”
Yeah sure it’s a couple minutes past one.
“Does anybody really care?”
HEY!! …Screw you , you sarcastic jerk.
Woman , woah, Woman, have you got cheating on your mind?"
What’s the signal for “bid hearts” again?