Anti-bayesian Nonsequitur Fun!

Lately, in my earthlink webmail “suspect” folder, I’ve been finding mail with the interesting titles. I know it’s spam, but the title appears to be assembled from words randomly drawn from a dictionary. I also know that this is probably an attempt to defeat Bayesian filters – programs which look for combinations and frequencies of certain words in order to detect spam. And, of course, I know that they’re failing, because none are getting through to my inbox… they’re either going to Suspect Mail with no responses to sender validation requests, or straight to Known Spam.

But the titles are amusing… maybe they’re not so randomly assembled. I’m a huge fan of nonsequitur humor, and also have always had the fantasy of spamming people not with solicitations, but with humor. So this practice has earned some spam a tiny measure of grudging admiration from me…

For example:

  • Be a telephone! A suit! (This sounds enticing!)

  • Pickford afoot, anharmonic adhesion (Sounds like a warning to musical sticky tape manufacturers)

  • Gettysburg brink (Oh no! Imminent disaster!)

  • Pestilential drake inequality basepoint brother (So that’s why there are no signs of intelligent life: he forgot to include a term for pestilence!)

  • Christen niche bean deferral (Wanna see the niche where Christen keeps her beans?)

  • purcell foxhole planetesimal (A foxhole in which the Real People hostess covers her asteroid)

and my favorite…

  • legume highball (Better ask for beano back with that one)

Have you found any gems??

knickerbocker anteroom

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extricate balled embargoes

I could go on. Those are all from the same spam. My husband was already in bed when that gem arrived in my mailbox, so I printed it out to show to him. He started reading it aloud, and I was laughing so hard it got the cat all agitated, which set off another round of hilarity as he tried to attack me.

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And many many more…